How beautiful is your love, my sister, my bride! How much better is your love than wine . . .
— Song of Solomon 4:10
Becky and I are celebrating 18 years of marriage today. We got married on our three-year dating anniversary, so we’ve been a hot ticket now for 21 years. We have had our ups and downs — plenty of downs, actually, mainly because I’m a first-class, grade-A, off-the-charts moron — but here we are, still standing in Christ, still sleeping in each other’s arms, still holding hands in the car. Ours is a hard-fought love. We know what grace is.
Over the years, I’ve learned a million things about marriage, but I suppose I still have a million things left to learn. I have to re-learn half of those things every day, it seems. When you put two sinners in close proximity and say, “Don’t either of you leave,” you’re gonna get a mess at some point or another, but I’d say the biggest thing we’ve both learned is that the gospel is made for messes. Grace is for messy people. Becky especially knows this, because she has had to tap a deeper well than I because of the mess that is me.
When I wonder sometimes how the Spirit’s love gets fleshed out in real space and time, I can look at the church or the examples of self-sacrifice in other spheres, but I really don’t need to look any further than my wife:
Becky serves so many with her whole self without much recognition, toiling behind the scenes, diligently storing up treasures in heaven.
Becky pours out her life for our daughters, every day “spending and being spent” with self-abandon that they might grow in grace and godliness.
Becky suffers the slings and arrows of ministry life, of being the minister’s wife, counseling me and comforting me and challenging me, while going forth in humor and dignity even in ministry’s rough seasons.
Becky loves me with great affection, with laughter and resolve, with flirty eyes and mushy talk that embarrasses our kids (in a good way).
“An excellent wife, who can find?” Me. I did. Right here. And as we embark on another year, nearing the day of embarking on another decade, Becky is my brightest, clearest, greatest daily reminder that a great and loving Savior, the wonderful and faithful forgiver and friend, is real and present. She reminds me that he is right here, which is really the best thing you could want in a marriage.
Thanks for gospeling me, babe.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
— Proverbs 31:11
