Jul
02
2010
Ephesians 4:29 in the Age of Facebook
GUEST POST from Doug Phillips:
“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” (Eph. 4:29 ESV)
I have enjoyed being on Facebook more than I thought I would. Even though a number of my like-minded friends are still resisting, I have been pleasantly surprised by how I’ve been able to connect or re-connect with people, often in kind of light-hearted ways, but sometimes more substantially too.
Having said that, I have to say there are many times when the ‘cringe factor’ kicks in when I see what some people post. Biblical teaching and Christian ethics have always taken aim at corrupt and corrupting communicating: gossip, lying (bearing false witness), slander (not merely in its specific legal meaning…the Greek word essentially means to ‘say bad things’ about someone), etc.
“Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” (Prov. 12:18 NIV) I read a lot of ‘reckless words’ on Facebook – from Christians, I mean. A spouse will post something that may seem innocent on one level, but in actuality can’t help but embarrass their partner. A church member will gossip about a situation, using inflammatory language that simultaneously indicates they do not have a firm grasp on the actual facts, and, perhaps most common of all, personally insulting attacks on political leaders of the opposite party and perspective (defying Paul’s teaching in Titus 3:1-4).
It is bad enough when you gossip or slander or lie in a room or a hallway or at a restaurant table with only another person or two around, but with a medium like Facebook these sins of speech go global. And make no mistake, that’s just what they are – sins of “speech” – even if the speech takes the form of a Facebook update, a blogpost or a ‘tweet.’
Jesus said that “out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks” and we could faithfully add, “…and the fingers on the keyboard type.” Then he went on to say, “I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken [posted, emailed, tweeted]. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.” (Matt. 12:34-36 NIV)
As always what makes such sinning doubly sad is that it represents such a wasted opportunity – because our words, our communication, have such enormous potential to do good – to “bring healing” says the Proverb…to “give grace” says Paul. In fact, a quick summary of Paul’s teaching in Eph. 4:29 sets the standard for all form of our communicating as Christians – our speaking and writing can and should edify and strengthen, meet real needs, and bring God’s grace and truth into the lives of others.
Thankfully, I’ve seen a good measure of that on Facebook too, from simple posts like “I love my family” from one joyful, grateful husband and dad, to inspirational sayings from all kinds of sources…. from well-written, Scripture-shaped blog entries that teach and challenge, to Facebook status updates that tell of God’s saving, sanctifying work going forward in and through the lives of his people.
So now, more than ever, in the era of Facebook, MySpace, Twitter and blogging, may we as the people who have been won over by the Word, and professed allegiance to the Good News, repent of the sins of corrupt and corrupting communication as we aim to please the Lord and serve others with our words as well as our works.
21 Comments
Amen. So many Christians on the Internet rationalize being sarcastic or snarky.
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This is a little ridiculous. To me it almost seems a little self righteous. Kevin you are taking facebook way too seriously.
It’s not Kevin, it’s a guest post by Doug Phillips.
@Bob
Bob, how would you interpret and apply the scriptures presented here? All commentary by Doug Phillips aside.
Another question to ask: is Mr. Phillips taking Facebook too seriously, or are you not taking sin seriously enough?
Bob,
I urge you to think again about what you wrote. The post is not really about Facebook at all, so to accuse the author of taking Facebook too seriously is to miss the point entirely. A more careful reading of the post reveals that it is about speech, in its various forms.
Secondly, you indicate that the post seems self righteous. Again a careful (and gracious) reading of the post does not bear that out. Look at the last paragraph especially, where the author says “…may we as the people who have been won over by the Word…repent of the sins of corrupt and corrupting communication as we aim to please the Lord and serve others with our words as well as our works.” Note that the author twice uses “we” and twice uses “our”, both of which are inclusive of the author.
Perhaps an apology to the author is in order, or am I taking your blog comments too seriously.
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i somewhat agree with it, Bob, the author writes stuff, thus he is only saying to watch what you write. we left chuch because of all this especially from a friend we thought, a sound person posting I was psycho and how glad he was I left church.
Going to him only brought more pride to puff up his chest feathers.We went to this person to say sorry if we ever did anything to offendm sound person said yea I said it, so what.no thank you for church, after 40 years at this church. hope they read it, it hurts and doubly hurts when no one cares to say simple words, I’m sorry.
so yes, watch words people, it hurts and leaves scars.
Very astute observations in this post. It’s interesting to see how many people refuse to believe that their online persona’s are a reflection of what is truly in their hearts. Asking people to take care in what they say online is a noble request.
Before one posts something that is even remotely inflammatory, it would be prudent to ask oneself “What would Jesus say in this matter.” I already can hear the cackling hens muttering to themselves about how corny that is, but too many people claim to walk in His footsteps, but refuse to remove the plank from their eye and that leads them down the stray path.
No matter how convinced oneself is regarding his position on a matter, an individual’s self righteousness is not the Lord’s righteousness. Please let your words reflect that in all aspects of communication.
Thank you for this fantastic, relevant post.
I cannot think of a more apt text to apply to social networking.
Amen and amen!
I think that FaceBook and other social sites do a great favor to pastors and youth group leaders, it is yet another tool to look in the souls of our members and know their problems, struggles and battles that they go through.
I am a FB friend with majority of my youth group and i can see, (monitor) if you will, their spiritual progress through the daily reading of FB updates, and I can influence them as well on the same level. I know who is wasting their time playing “Mafia Wars” and “Farm Will”, I can read about their free time, their B-day parties etc.
I love the common Grace of the FaceBook, and I think that we should chanel it in the right way to get more good out of it.
Bless you all.
P.S my FB name pavelmarchenko
I’m not sure I agree in a blanket manner.
But, firstly, I not only agree that abusive and slanderous speech is sinful in the way highlighted, but I, myself, have been the perpetrator of said acts in the past and am still embarrassed about them and have not been able to make good of them. They are, rightly, my albatross in many ways.
However, is there not a place for clear rebuke relating to specific acts or consistent behavior? How can it be that we are to only address the issues, and not, correctly and publicly, connect persons with those ideas and/or acts which have become part of their persona? The same Paul who tells us to speak evil of no one, also enumerates evil committed against him and against the church of Christ in other passages.
Doug, if you are going to press Ephesians 4:29 into service outside the body of Christ, then do we not do as Paul did within and without the church in the secular realm?
One does not have to presume to be self righteous to say that certain things are right and certain things are wrong, and that certain acts are extremely foolish to the point of being dangerous and hurtful. We live in a political system which calls for, and is most effective when people to engage in open, rigorous debate. If “Submitting” means not doing that, or doing it in a way that is so opaque and limp that no one knows what you’re talking about, what’s the point?
I am not saying that persons here do this, I am saying that there have been a ton of “Christians aren’t nice enough” posts, which make unqualified statements about the necessity of “building up” to the apparent exclusion of any clear and zealous rebuke, which does not need to be slanderous or “evil” to cut to the foundation of the issue or the behavior.
I guess my biggest concern is that what seems to be missing from your assessment, Doug, is that there is a place for this criticism if it is not done ad hominem, and I feel that your, and others, concerns would be more helpful if you said that. What seems to be advocated here is if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say nothing at all. I don’t think that’s what you meant, but that’s how it comes across and, sadly, you wouldn’t be the only person saying it.
Thanks,
Jason
[...] http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/kevindeyoung/2010/07/02/ephesians-429-in-the-age-of-facebook/ [...]
[...] Doug Phillips [...]
Jason,
I don’t think I’d really disagree with the concern reflected in your comment. My focus was more on interpersonal, relational matters.
Doug
[...] Ephesians 4.29 is usually stuck in my head somewhere. I wish I obeyed it more often. But, especially in light of social media – how do you find yourself living obediently of this verse? Kevin Deyoung helps us [...]
Thanks for the post; I have linked to it off a couple of my FB group pages aimed at high school athletes that I coach. As to the concerns aired here, I find myself in the same place when it comes to differentiating between critiques and disagreements that are aired frankly and openly vs. words that damage. Problem is, there is not a neat “either or” here because the messages we communicate are not always what we say but what others hear. So the challenge is to communicate as clearly as possible in a way that is not meant to denigrate others created in God’s image. In this I pray for wisdom.
As to the wreckless posting alluded to in the post; it seems quite obvious that there is enough of that to go around. Thanks again, Doug, for the post.
[...] Doug Phillips on Ephesians 4:29 in the age of Facebook. [...]
Wow. Some of the comments above reveal to me that there is not enough understanding on biblical conflict and communication in the church body. Having been one who has been affected by slander, gossip, etc in church ministry before — this is not a “small deal.” The teenagers I work with struggle with this stuff, and it is real! It is very damaging and hurtful. Rebukes are to be given in person, with another brother along if needed, and then handled with the elders in the context of the church — NOT publicly on facebook! Some of the comments above reflect a misunderstanding on biblical rebuke.
Secondly, facebook serves as a buffer between people and is therefore used as an excuse to be “honest” (ie, disregard the feelings of others). This is never right — if our words don’t fit into the description of love of 1 Cor. 13, then they shouldn’t be said, whether on or offline.
Scripture has a ton to say about language, and it applies to comments made online, as well as comments made face to face. In fact, a good rule of thumb is “if I wouldn’t say this in person to this person, then I shouldn’t say it to them or about them online!”
Good post.