“You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.”  Exodus 20:16

The Ten Commandments accomplish many things at once.  For one, they define human rights.  “You shall not steal,” for example, means that every person has a right to his possessions.  God says so.  To steal, therefore, is even more than a violation of a person’s rights; it is a violation of God himself, for it is God who gives every person his hard-earned things.  God commands us to humble ourselves before his arrangement of reality, including our neighbor’s property.

The ninth commandment, against bearing false witness, means that a person has a right to his good name.  God makes a person’s reputation a sacred thing.  God listens to every whisper.  God watches every “like” on Facebook.  God notes every retweet and comment.  God reads every email.  God hears every phone call.  Our discourse about one another matters to God above.  It matters to him so much that he included this in the Ten Commandments.

To diminish a person’s good name by spin, lies, exaggerations, slanders, incomplete accounts, misrepresentations, self-serving narratives, one-sided versions of events, not including the facts unfavorable to oneself — there are many ways we can violate the ninth commandment.  And we do.  It is one of the primary ways we do violence to one another, dishonor God, deconstruct a gospel culture, replace it with an anti-gospel culture that God cannot bless, and scare unbelievers away from our churches.  God deserves churches in this world marked by beauty, humaneness, restraint, kindness, humility, where every reputation is guarded as a sacred thing, for Jesus’ sake.

With the wisdom of the Heidelberg Catechism, Tim Challies helpfully presses this commandment into two recent occasions of bearing false witness against our neighbors.  He concludes:

“The ninth commandment forbids us from lying, but it does far more than that.  It demands that we deliberately seek out the truth.  Even in an age of skimming, in an age in which we are drowning in a glut of information, it demands that we pursue the whole truth rather than risk promoting a lie.  It demands that we resist the lazy temptation to have our views shaped by a skim and that we instead do the hard work of pursuing facts.  For as the [Heidelberg] Catechism warns us, we are in danger of doing the work of the devil.”

To honor and restore a person’s good name is surely the work of the Holy Spirit.

Every reputation matters to God

“The ones along the path are those who have heard; then the devil comes and takes away the word from their hearts, so that they may not believe and be saved.”  Luke 8:12

But how does the devil come and take away the word from their hearts?  The Lord doesn’t explain.  Still, we wonder.

F. W. Farrar proposes, “It is done in a moment; by a smile at the end of the sermon; by a silly criticism at the Church door; by foolish gossip on the way home.”  Doubtless, all true.

Matthew Henry proposes more searchingly, “The devil does all he can to keep us from believing, to make us not believe the word when we read or hear it; or, if we heed it for the present, to make us forget it again and let it slip; or, if we remember it, to create prejudices in our minds against it or divert our minds from it to something else; and all lest we should believe and be saved, lest we should believe and rejoice, while he believes and trembles.”

I wonder if the Lord did not explain further, because the devil’s strategy is implied in his title, the devil, which means the slanderer.  He is “your adversary, the devil” (1 Peter 5:8).  He is “the accuser of our brothers” (Revelation 12:10).  One way he can take the gospel from our hearts is by slanderous accusations.  And because these dark thoughts come to us as morally serious matters, and we don’t want to be glib people, we might let them overrule the joyful release of the gospel.  We might believe the gospel at a principial level, but at a personal level where we need it most the slanderer insinuates his fiery dart accusing thoughts, and we might let them land hard on us.  So, not letting the good news land even harder on us, we might not experience salvation at that painful point in our existence.

We want to be open to the convicting voice of the Holy Spirit.  I propose some ways to distinguish his wonderful conviction from the devil’s cunning accusations here.  But let us not assume that every morally serious thought is of the Lord.  False holiness is just as much a threat as casual sinfulness.

We can test ourselves.  Maybe like this: “Hey Mr. Negative Thought, where did you come from?  From Jesus?  Are you what he would say to me, if he were standing right here right now?  Or did I invent you myself?  Or are you from the devil?  You sure don’t sound like Jesus.  You might have come up out of the darkest depths of me.  But you smell like the smoke of hell.  And I will submit to the biblical gospel, and nothing but the biblical gospel.  If the Holy Spirit wants to confront me about something, I am so listening.  But he will confront me in ways that help me.  You’re not helpful at all, Mr. Negative Thought.  You’re only destructive and demoralizing.  I owe you no further attention.  Be gone.”

It is also important to be cautious in what we say to one another, lest in our misguided good intentions we bring harm to a struggling believer.

What would Jesus say?

The ninth commandment confronts our use of words when it says, “You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor” (Exodus 20:16).  The Heidelberg Catechism explains:

“Q.  What is God’s will for us in the ninth commandment?

A.  God’s will is that I never give false testimony against anyone, twist no one’s words, not gossip or slander, nor join in condemning anyone without a hearing or without a just cause.  Rather, in court and everywhere else, I should avoid lying and deceit of every kind; these are devices the devil himself uses, and they would call down on me God’s intense anger.  I should love the truth, speak it candidly, and openly acknowledge it.  And I should do what I can to guard and advance my neighbor’s good name.”

The Bible has a lot to say about how we use words, because God himself uses words.  He is careful with his words; we tend not to grasp how significant our words are.  That’s why the Bible says, for starters:

You shall not go about as a slanderer among your people.  Leviticus 19:16

O Lord, who shall sojourn in your tent?  Who shall dwell on your holy hill? . . . He who does not take up a reproach against his friend.  Psalm 15:1, 3

The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life.  Proverbs 10:11

There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.  Proverbs 12:18

An evildoer listens to wicked lips, and a liar gives ear to a mischievous tongue.  Proverbs 17:4

Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.  Proverbs 17:9

Death and life are in the power of the tongue.  Proverbs 18:21

God gave them up to a debased mind . . . . They are gossips.  Romans 1:28-29

Do not speak evil against one another, brothers.  James 4:11

One of my commentaries on the book of Proverbs lists around 90 proverbs counseling us in our use of words.  Proverbs has more to say about our words than about money or family or even death.  Not surprisingly.  I recently read that the average American speaks about 700 times per day.  That number sounds high to me.  If we cut it in half to 350 times per day, then cut it in half again to 175 times a day, still, there are few things we do 175 times a day.  The Bible says, “Glorify God in your body” (1 Corinthians 6:20).  That starts with our tongues.

We Americans have the right of free speech.  In our political culture we have the right – if it’s a right, nobody can stop us – to blurt out whatever we feel.  But when we become Christians, we moderate our use of that right in order to build a new culture of grace.  So we bring our words under the judgment of God’s Word.  We bring our blogs and tweets and emails under his judgment.  We want to embody together the beauty of the gospel, especially in how we speak to and about one another.

It’s easy to justify spreading a negative report about someone, if we believe it to be true.  But even if it is true – not an opinion, not an accusation, not a rumor, but a properly established fact – that does not justify passing it along.  The Bible says, “A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back” (Proverbs 29:11).  The Bible says, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear” (Ephesians 4:29).  Whatever we might feel like saying or posting, however intensely we might feel it, the gospel simply changes the subject.  Three times the risen Jesus greeted his disciples this way: “Peace be with you” (John 20:19, 21, 26).  If we will bring our tongues under the control of his peace, our churches will be safe places where more people can meet Christ.  And no grievance is worth disturbing that blood-bought peace.

A pastor’s high visibility makes him especially vulnerable to destructive talk.  We pastors have no coercive power, and we don’t want any.  We want winsome influence, as we preach the message of Christ and bear the image of Christ.  But to serve people effectively in that way, all we pastors have going for us is our reputations, our public acceptability.  That is why it is a sin of special seriousness to injure the reputation of a gospel-preaching, godly pastor.  He is not the only one who suffers.  The cause of Christ suffers.

I have grieved for C. J. Mahaney in recent months, as he has been openly spoken against.  I have never in my life witnessed a campaign of slander on such a scale as that aimed at C. J.  This behavior is clearly unbiblical and therefore self-discrediting.  To those few criticisms which rightly struck home to C. J.’s conscience, he has responded humbly.  He has taken those accusations before the Lord, in community with other responsible men, and has received them as he believes is right in the Lord’s sight, with repeated attempts to reconcile with his accusers.  No one could reasonably ask for more.  Personally, it appears to me that C. J. has even over-confessed to his critics.

Many others, like me, distant in location but close in sympathy, hope that C. J. will return to his full ministry soon.  We will rejoice to see it.  In the meantime, and at all times, every one of us can only benefit from Jonathan Edwards’ wise counsel:

“Spiritual pride is very apt to suspect others, whereas a humble saint is most jealous of himself.  He is so suspicious of nothing in the world as he is of his own heart.  The spiritually proud person is apt to find fault with other saints . . . and to be quick to discern and take note of their deficiencies.  But the eminently humble Christian has so much to do at home, and sees so much evil in his own heart, and is so concerned about it, that he is not apt to be very busy with others’ hearts.”

C. J. Mahaney

“The book of Proverbs is, in ways, a treatise on talk.  I would summarize it this way: words give life; words bring death – you choose.  What does this mean?  It means you have never spoken a neutral word in your life.  Your words have direction to them.  If your words are moving in the life direction, they will be words of encouragement, hope, love, peace, unity, instruction, wisdom, and correction.  But if your words are moving in a death direction, they will be words of anger, malice, slander, jealousy, gossip, division, contempt, racism, violence, judgment, and condemnation.  Your words have direction to them.  When you hear the word talk you ought to hear something that is high and holy and significant and important.  May God help us never to look at talk as something that doesn’t matter.”

Paul David Tripp, in The Power of Words and the Wonder of God, edited by John Piper and Justin Taylor (Wheaton, 2009), page 24.  Italics original.

Let’s never tell ourselves, “But it’s okay.  It’s not as though I’m doing anything.  It’s only words.  They will go away.”

Our words have direction: life or death

Diogenes looked for an honest man.  May he find that honesty in us.

Honesty compels us to remember certain things in moments of conflict:

1.  There is a difference between an accusation and a fact.  An accusation is easy to launch, and it can have huge impact, even when it doesn’t deserve to.  A fact can be hard to establish, and can carry little weight, though it deserves to.  Honesty compels us to discipline our emotions and tongues.

2.  It doesn’t matter how many times an accusation is repeated and repeated and repeated.  Repetition does not prove anything.  Honesty compels us to remember that repetition does risk multiple sins of gossip.

3.  There is a difference between a sin and the general effects of sin on us all.

A sin is a clear violation of the Bible, chapter and verse.  An act that is truly sinful – not just a disappointment to me but an offense to God – warrants discipline in some cases.  But “love covers a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8).  Honesty compels us to hold back before we go so far as to accuse anyone of a sin.  Is it a sin?  Really?  In God’s sight?

The general effects of sin are the misunderstandings and disconnects common among us.  They don’t deserve mention, even in our thoughts.  Honesty compels us to admit that the irritation might be due to a flaw within ourselves.

May the peace of Christ rule in our hearts (Colossians 3:15).  After all, something will.

Honesty

There are six things that the Lord hates,
seven that are an abomination to him:
haughty eyes, a lying tongue,
and hands that shed innocent blood,
a heart that devises wicked plans,
feet that make haste to run to evil,
a false witness who breathes out lies,
and one who sows discord among brothers.  Proverbs 6:16-19

Our eyes, tongues, hands, hearts and feet were given to us to spread shalom.  When we use them to sow discord – our hands no longer shed innocent blood with actual swords; now the tongue is the weapon of choice – the negative impact operates in two ways.

Vertically, God is listening.  “Hates” and “abomination” are meant to startle us, because we tend not to take this behavior seriously.  But Leviticus 18 puts an “abomination” at the level of sexual sin, for example.  God hates and loathes a lying tongue that stirs up trouble among brothers.

Horizontally, death and life are in the power of the tongue (Proverbs 18:21).  The temptation is to think, “But I’m not doing anything.  It’s only words.”  But words alone can bring a government down or establish peace, destroy a marriage or renew hope, crush a child’s sense of worth or lift him to confidence and joy, unify a church or splinter it into angry factions, send a soul to hell or to heaven.  When we observe carefully the impact of our words, we see why God cares so intensely about them.

Rabbi Joseph Telushkin, in Imprimis, January 1996, writes, “If you cannot go for twenty-four hours without drinking liquor, you are addicted to alcohol.  If you cannot go for twenty-four hours without smoking, you are addicted to nicotine.  Similarly, if you cannot go for twenty-four hours without saying unkind words about others, then you have lost control over your tongue.”

“Walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.”  Galatians 5:16

Words

1.  We can rejoice in one another, because the Lord rejoices in us.

Psalm 16:3 sets the tone: “As for the saints in the land, they are the excellent ones, in whom is all my delight.”  There is excellence to admire in every Christian.

2.  We can create an environment of trust rather than negative scrutiny.

1 Corinthians 4:5 says, “Do not pronounce judgment before the time, before the Lord comes, who will bring to light the things now hidden in darkness and will disclose the purposes of the heart.”  Human eyes are not competent to judge human hearts.

3.  We can judge ourselves, even as we give each other the benefit of the doubt.

Matthew 7:5 says, “First take the log out of your own eye.”

4.  If a problem must be addressed, we can talk to, not about.  Gossip destroys.

Matthew 18:15 says, “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone.”  James 1:26 says, “If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless.”

5.  If a problem must be addressed, we can avoid blanket statements but identify factual specifics, offer a positive path forward and preserve everyone’s dignity.

“You are ___________” is too absolute to be fair.  It leaves a person with no freedom to improve.  Better to say, “In this situation, when you _____________, that set us back.  It would be helpful if, in the future, you would ______________.  What do you think?  And is there anything I can do that might help?”

6.  We can always extend kindness.

Ephesians 4:32 says, “Be kind to one another.”  The word “kind” is used in Matthew 11:30 when Jesus says, “My yoke is easy.”  Kindness asks, “How can I make this situation as easy for the other person as possible?  How can I avoid embarrassing this person?  How can I make a positive response as easy as it can be?”

7.  When we do wrong one another, we can say to the person harmed, “I was wrong.  I am sorry.  I’ll try not to let it happen again.  Is there anything I can do now, to make a positive difference?”

Where a wrong has been done, as the Bible defines wrong, an apology heals and helps.

“Esau ran to meet him and embraced him and fell on his neck and kissed him, and they wept.”  Genesis 33:4

Seven ways we can guard and repair relationships

Our sins are connected deep inside us, more than we see. We compartmentalize. We tell ourselves we can sin in one area and it will stay contained in that area. It’s easier to rationalize that way. But the reality of what we are and how we work is more subtle, more interrelated, more inevitable. When the Corinthian church was bouncing off the walls with quarreling, jealousy, anger, hostility, slander, gossip, conceit and disorder, and when Paul probed deeper, what he found down there was unrepentant sexual sin.

Connectivity

A: The duties required in the ninth commandment are the preserving and promoting of truth between man and man and the good name of our neighbor, . . . loving, desiring and rejoicing in their good name; . . . a ready receiving of a good report and unwillingness to admit of an evil report concerning them.

So says the Westminster Larger Catechism. The Bible itself is so clear against gossip, probably because we are so inclined toward gossip:

O Lord, who shall sojourn in your tent?
Who shall dwell on your holy hill?
He who does not take up a reproach against his friend. Psalm 15:1, 3

There are six things that the Lord hates,
seven that are an abomination to him: . . .
one who sows discord among brothers. Proverbs 6:16, 19

Thou shalt not go up and down as a talebearer among thy people. Leviticus 19:16, AV

Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. James 4:11

Argue your case with your neighbor himself,
and do not reveal another’s secret. Proverbs 25:9

God gave them up to a debased mind . . . . They are gossips. Romans 1:28-29

There are many biblical passages confronting gossip. The witness of God against this sin is overwhelming.

What is gossip? It is not necessarily false information. Slander is false. Gossip might include true information, and maybe that’s why gossip doesn’t always feel sinful. What makes it sin is, first and foremost, that God says it’s sin. But gossip spreads what can include accurate information to diminish another person. That is not how people behave when they are living in the power of the grace of God.

Gossip is our dark moral fervor eagerly seeking gratification. Gossip makes us feel important and needed as we declare our judgments. It makes us feel included to know the inside scoop. It makes us feel powerful to cut someone else down to size, especially someone we are jealous of. It makes us feel righteous, even responsible, to pronounce someone else guilty. Gossip can feel good in multiple ways. But it is of the flesh, not of the Spirit.

Adultery too is a serious sin, and one likely to be disciplined in a church. But I have never seen a church split over the sin of adultery. Gossip is a sin rarely disciplined but often more socially destructive than the sensational sins.

Gossip leaves a wide trail of devastation wherever and however it goes – word of mouth, email, blogging, YouTube. It erodes trust and destroys morale. It creates a social environment of suspicion where everyone must wonder what is being said behind their backs and whether appearances of friendship are sincere. It ruins hard-won reputations with cowardly but effective weapons of misrepresentation. It manipulates people into taking sides when no such action is necessary or beneficial. It unleashes the dark powers of psychological transference, doing violence to the gossiper, to the one receiving the gossip and to the person being spoken against. It makes the Body of Christ look like the Body of Antichrist – destroyers rather than healers. It exhausts the energies we would otherwise devote to positive witness. It robs our Lord of the Church he deserves. It exposes the hostility in our hearts and discredits the gospel in the eyes of the world. Then we wonder why we don’t see more conversions, why “the ground is so hard.”

What should we do when a conversation starts slipping into gossip? We should immediately challenge the sin: “Hey friend, sorry to interrupt, but this is gossip. So here’s the deal. This conversation is now on hold until you go get _____________, and then you can start over and say whatever you feel you must say right to his face. I am willing to be a witness to that conversation, but I will not participate in gossip. What do you choose to do?” Amy Carmichael established this rule at her mission station: “Never about, always to.”

“Let all things be done for building up” (1 Corinthians 14:26). Therefore, let’s always ask ourselves, “These words about to rise up out of my mouth or go out through my keyboard – do they build up? Am I being constructive? If the person I feel like discussing were here with me right now, how would his presence change what I feel like saying?”

“Do not be deceived: . . . revilers will not inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.” 1 Corinthians 6:9-11

Gossip