A Prayer for Parents Learning to Love Their Gay Child
God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling. Ps. 46:1-3
Dear Lord Jesus, this Scripture seems appropriate in light of the phone call I just finished: a mom and dad in tears, shame, and great confusion—devastated to discover their son is gay. They feel like the earth has given way and the mountains have jumped into the ocean, for the world as they know it has just been turned upside down.
Lord Jesus, there’s no safer or more welcoming refuge than you. You give us strength when hard stories and fresh crises sap our energy and buckle our knees. No one is better suited to provide gracious help for troubled hearts than you. I come boldly to your throne of grace.
I pray for my friends in this situation, whose number seems to be multiplying. They love you and they love their child, but they have no clue what this means or what to do next. Please keep them free from stereotypes, bad information, and uninvited helpers.
Unfortunately, like me, these parents were led to believe that same-sex attraction is the most egregious and twisted form of sin. Because of this, their shock and fear makes them want to assign responsibility and find someone to blame, and that’s become one another. Bring your centering peace and powerful grace to bear, Lord Jesus. More than anything else they need you and the grace and wisdom you promise. They’re not the point, you are—and loving their son well is of preeminent importance.
In the next hours and days, calm their hearts and give them kindness beyond their own—your kindness. Understandably, there’s palpable tension and uncertainly in the home right now. I pray for a bridge of compassion and communication. Help them see their son not as a leper, but as their beloved son. Don’t let them objectify him, Jesus. Help them love him as a sinner-saint like they are, not as someone to fix. The gospel, not shame, must prevail.
And I pray for their son, Jesus. Help me know how to best serve and care for him. He’s confused about you now that he’s convinced of his homosexuality. Bring your mercy and grace to bear in powerful ways. Keep him far from those who would try to exploit his vulnerability—especially from those with evil intent.
The effects of the fall play out in our lives in so many ways—all kinds of broken sexuality, the idolatry of greed, and the lust for power, to name a few. Though this young man’s story, sin, and weakness are different than mine, I don’t need you any less than he does. Help me make that clear as we lean into this next season together. I ask for healing and deliverance for both of us. So very Amen I pray, in your gracious and powerful name.