As I want to stay married and enjoy my family, I agreed to stop using the porn but soon was horrified to discover that I had apparently developed and addiction to it and could not seem to put it down. So I began staying late at the office and getting in the wee hours of the night to feed the addiction. Of course I got caught again and it hit the fan.

I got kicked out of the house, an attorney was called and things were going south rapidly. I was commiserating with a friend about the whole thing when he suggested that an internet filter might be helpful. It is software that will actually block access to the porn sites. So I discussed this with my wife who agreed to give it a try. The problem remained that she still didn't trust me so I found a filter that included something called accountability reporting. This allows a partner, my wife in this case, to access a browsing history that cannot be erased. Even more compelling is that it will send email alert if the software detects that I am trying to break through the filter to the porn sites.

There are several filters that do this. I am using one called http://www.wisechoice.net .
It sounds as though I am in a prison but really it is a relief. I have a handle on an addiction that was going to ruin my life and more importantly I have moved back home, and trust is being rebuilt. I hope this is helpful to someone.

Very informative posts, thank you!

From experience, I would say the deceptiveness of my heart has rarely left me aware of what rationalizations I am giving myself at that time. After extended use, much like a drug (and it's effects are similar to a drug) there is little thought involved and needed and it essentially becomes a compulsion much the same way smoking is or biting your nails or any similar habitual behavior we have. It hi-jacks you.

There is a GREAT book called Wired for Intimacy by Bill Struthers that anyone interested in the effects of porn should read. It has a DRAMATIC effect on the way we THINK and FEEL. Not only about behaviors, but within ourselves and our imaginations. It alters the who you are at the brain level whether you want it to or not, or whether you are aware of it or not. It's sin, it's brutally deceptive.

What this article is saying is an obvious effect of consuming pornography; my 10 year old could tell us that if I laid it out for her. We have a currently popular Christian video series where a lovable vegetable gets carried away when dresses up as a super hero. Kids get that and laugh. Whether on a statistical scale we can say that or not, the larger message is frightening if you trace it out.

One last point, I do think porn is part of the culture more than people realize. I liked that the article pointed that out. I have thought that for a long time and think there is much in the fashion, art, literature, etc., that shows up as an outcropping of porn/the sex trade.

So do you think it is the same kind of rationalization? From the men that you have spoken to, that is.

My reasoning for breaking the speed limit - in the moderate and safe ways that approximately everyone else does - is multipart.

For one thing, the governing authorities do not actually *want* me to literally obey all of their posted speed limits. In addition to their desire for ticket revenue, they know perfectly well that many of our roads would grind to a standstill if we all did that. Not to mention that high speed differentials (as when a few church ladies go much slower than everyone else) are in fact more dangerous than high speeds.

The other thing is that my slavishly following all speed limits - even as the parade forms behind me and everyone gnashes their teeth at me for making them late - would be more about my praising my own goodness and would be quite unloving of my neighbor.

Sorry for the tangent - always wanted a chance to get that off my chest in a Christian forum :)