Comments on: More Choices, Less Commitment

By: Pick a Fish and Get Out of the Sea « Heels in a Crack

Pick a Fish and Get Out of the Sea « Heels in a Crack — Mon, 18 Mar 2013 19:55:36 +0000

[...] post on love is inspired by this thought-provoking article in the Gospel Coalition. The article is entitled, “More Choices, Less Commitment,” and expounds [...]

By: Kathy

Kathy — Thu, 14 Mar 2013 00:11:50 +0000

"Dating" sites are like much else, they have the potential for good or for evil. What is one's priority when signing up for these sites? One should exercise discernment even on Christian sites.
I met my husband online, both of us had been in previous marriages which didn't turn out well, part of the reason, I am certain is that we had not invited God to be in charge of the search, did it on our own understanding.
Essentially before we were matched each of us had requested that if there was someone for us for God to choose or show us the one. In our case God certainly did! We have been married for nearly 2 years, we are realistic as the normal everyday problems crop up as they can in any marriage, it is how we choose to handle the problems that is important and keeping God as the center and head of our relationship. We are very blessed.
It is my thought that dating sites can be useful if one keeps to Godly principles during the process. One must be careful taking the time to seek the Lord during the courtship process. Everyone's story is different and though God never changes He many times used different methods to accomplish His purposes but never being unfaithful to Himself.
Also would like to add to any young folk reading this that if you are not yet married of engaged, keep your focus on the Lord and approach relationships with Jesus as the center of your life. He can, in His time bring you together with the one to spend your life with, don't settle. The Bible is absolutely right in admonishing us to not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. There is also much truth to the statement "marriages are made in Heaven but must be worked out here on earth".
I admire Kirk Cameron for his commitment to the Lord, to his wife and family. You go Kirk! May God continue to use you as an example of what a family is intended to be is my prayer for you.

By: More Choices, Less Commitment | Kirk Cameron

More Choices, Less Commitment | Kirk Cameron — Tue, 12 Mar 2013 11:01:28 +0000

[...] Choices, Less Commitment A great article from Barry Cooper at The Gospel Coalition March 12, [...]

By: Barry Cooper

Barry Cooper — Sat, 02 Mar 2013 08:59:04 +0000

Mike, it's an excellent question. In fact, a good friend of mine suggested that I needed more gospel hope in the article! It'll only be a brief sketch, but let me give two thoughts on how Christ leads us out of the prison. 1. Meditate on God's goodness and sovereignty. Think about the implications of texts such as Acts 4:24-29 and Genesis 50:18-21. They demonstrate that even the worst of our choices are ordained by God for our good and his glory. That should help to conquer our fear of commitment, our fear of making mistakes, and our fear of missing out. 2. As with any idolatry we're subject to, the only way to drive out "the god of keeping our options open" is by replacing it with love for a superior God. We need to fill our minds and hearts with love for the true God, the living God, the triune God. The God who makes choices. For me, a good way way to do that is to read books that explore and exalt the beauty of God in Jesus Christ. You can't do any better than going to Scripture for that. Alternatively, something like J I Packer's "Knowing God" is a wonderful way to kindle your heart for the God who commits. Maybe others have suggestions they'd like to add, but I hope that helps you move forward Mike. Blessings, brother.

By: More Choices, Less Commitment | Future Perfect, Present Tense

More Choices, Less Commitment | Future Perfect, Present Tense — Wed, 27 Feb 2013 13:43:01 +0000

[...] can find my Christianity Today article here, and here’s a more recent Gospel Coalition piece I wrote about online dating. It touches on the same [...]

By: Ruth Li

Ruth Li — Wed, 27 Feb 2013 07:27:28 +0000

Realfeminist, I understand your point totally. I think everything,including the net, can be used differently according to the user's attitude and purpose.It is an effective tool for looking the perfect match in this big world, cause there are so many totally different people, and the difficulty of getting access to the man that God match for you might hinder people from gaining the true love and marrige bless that has been designed by God. It is just a platform, for Godly people to meet the right mate. Besides, as for those who are always undecisive, they are originally not in lack of targeted dating or even marrige mate.

By: Kelly

Kelly — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 12:59:00 +0000

I enjoyed this post. I'm a single person who has tried online dating and agree with your anaylisis. I'm always looking for Christian literature on dating and come across some horribly named titles--that I still buy and read.

What to do until Love finds you.
Sex is not the problem, lust is.
Boundaries in Dating
How To get a date worth keeping
Lies Women Believe
Jesus, Lover of My Soul
God's Promises for Singles

I've given up relationships for lent. And have been doing a ton of reflection on my relationship patterns. One thing I do know---is that I am a very giving person and often give too much of myself too soon--and I'm not just speaking in the pysical sense.

Look--here I am on this site, pouring out my troubles. I am a writer myself, so it seems natural for me to put it down to figure it out. So that's what this is. I'll put this out there and see if anyone can relate.

Born Again Virgin
http://kellychrist.blogspot.com/2013/02/born-again-virgin.html

By: Mike

Mike — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 00:06:04 +0000

Barry, this is - I think - a dumb question, but do you think there is hope for those of us trying to move beyond this sort of behavior? I've never dated online but I have struggled with lust over the years and now that I'm trying to move toward a relationship with someone, that struggle gives me pause and scares me. But, by God's grace, I don't want to live there and I desire true commitment and relationship.

I know it sounds silly to ask, but I think there are many folks in a similar position.

By: Barry Cooper

Barry Cooper — Mon, 25 Feb 2013 23:06:49 +0000

Candacia, thank you. I'll definitely give that a listen.

By: Candacia Greeman

Candacia Greeman — Mon, 25 Feb 2013 21:12:28 +0000

Barry, I don't think I've ever seen an article that features an analysis of Scripture, The Velveteen Rabbit, Shame, The Paradox of Choice, Up in the Air and Match.com. It was a very engaging read :)! I agree with your thesis and I think that your argument might be strongly supported by our experiences of deep friendships. For instance, I've found that most of my best friends are not people who I would choose based on compatibility etc. Instead, these friends are people with whom I've shared (seemingly random) life experiences which have deepened our mutual affection.

For those interested, The Paradox of Choice was featured in a very interesting Radiolab episode on Choice. You can access it from the link below.

http://www.radiolab.org/2008/nov/17/