As a man entering my late 20s, I've been thinking a lot lately about what it means to grow in masculinity in a God-honoring way. Men my age hear a Babel of voices telling us what manhood looks like. I came to Christ in a college ministry where most of the leaders were extroverted, athletic, and aggressive. They they didn't uphold these things as parts of true manhood, but I feared on some level that I wasn't going to become much of a man (being introverted, bookish, and more laid-back). 

Many "traditional" voices for Christian manhood speak mostly in negative terms about modern expressions of manhood: mockery, complaint, deploring ("Grow up!"). On the other hand, however, few voices from our own generation say anything at all about manhood: they downplay or ignore differences between men and women.

But I want to "grow up." I am a man, and I want to be living out my manhood in a way that gives glory to God. I want to know what being a biblical man is about.

Common Vision

The vast majority of the Bible's vision for humanity applies to men and women alike: both genders are adopted sons of God; both genders compose the bride of Christ; both genders fulfill the Great Commission, receive the Great Commandment, live in Word and sacrament and prayer and community. These things are of supreme importance and will be the great part of a Christian man's vision for himself.

But there are some ways in which God has uniquely shaped men. Living into manhood—being sanctified into the image of Christ as a man—differs in some ways from the process of being sanctified into the image of Christ as a woman. Looking to Scripture, we can see at least five specific roles the Bible reserves for men. Not every man will fulfill every one of these roles in his lifetime; but each role expresses a dimension of biblical manhood, and our growth as men will move us toward potentially fulfilling each role.

Before I discuss these roles in subsequent articles, we must consider three truths that correct counterfeit notions of manhood. Beginning to learn these correctives has given me a right perspective on the process of growing in true masculinity.

1. God is the hero of my story, not me.

Men are drawn to heroes. We love to see men face obstacles, confront enemies, or overcome long odds. Watching heroes resonates with us, in part because we admire them and in part because we like to imagine ourselves acting heroically. We want to be heroes.

But God is the one true hero of history, and he is the hero of my story too. In Revelation 5, John "weep[s] loudly" (5:4) because no one "in heaven or on earth or under the earth" is able to open the scroll of God's purpose for history. Only Jesus, the "Lion of the tribe of Judah" (5:5), has the right to do so. And every creature in all creation worships him for it (5:13). We are the "image and glory" (1 Cor 11:7) of God, designed to point to his greatness. True masculinity will direct others' attention to God.

This perspective gives us a new definition of heroism. We aren't heroes; but we act heroically when we act in a way that typifies God to the world and points others to his glory. The goal of my masculinity isn't to impress others but to prompt them to see my good works and give glory to my Father in heaven.

2. The Holy Spirit grows me in masculinity, not me.

In Ephesians 2, Paul teaches, "In [Christ] you also are being built together into a dwelling place for God by the Spirit" (Eph. 2:22, emphasis added). In 1 Corinthians Paul takes pains to show that God alone causes growth in the field of his church (3:6, 9). God assigns us gifts and tasks as part of the privilege of working with him, but, as John Stott writes in Basic Christian Leadership, "in God's field . . . it is God's activity that really matters."

Because manhood is part of our identity in Christ, this truth also applies to the process of growing as a man. God grows us in true masculinity. There are no self-made men of God; but we may repent of "what is dishonorable" (2 Tim. 2:20) and thus prepare the way for God to cultivate his image in us.

This is a call to caution and to courage. Caution, because we don't want to take any part of our sanctification into our own hands, and some of the "wisdom" on manhood for Christians overemphasizes human effort. Manhood is not a do-it-yourself endeavor; we are never "perfected by the flesh" (Gal. 3:3) in masculinity. But we can take courage, because we're in capable hands. The power of growing in manhood belongs to God alone, and he desires to make us "grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ" (Eph. 4:15).

3. I have already received my manhood in Jesus Christ.

Masculinity is not a badge we win at the end of a series of trials or a status I might one day earn. My growth in manhood, in being the image and glory of God, was earned by Jesus 2,000 years ago. He has begun the "good work" of growing me in manhood, and he will bring it to completion. I don't have to become a man; I am a man.

We will fall along the way in the process of growing into manhood. We will see the ways God is a perfect Father, a perfect Husband, and we'll know we can never hope to meet his example. But our lives are hidden with Christ in God; and when we fall short, we give thanks that God is merciful to love us, weak men as we are.

I'm still learning what it means to grow as a Christian man. I hope this series will provide others with encouragement and guidance in their growth; I also hope those who read these articles will converse with me, offering their own wisdom on biblical masculinity. May we sharpen one another like iron and learn to live into God's vision for us as men.

If sacrificing my interests for another's sake makes me feel good about myself, is my so-called "act of kindness" selfish at its core?

Most of us don't know how to answer. Does tithing just make me feel good inside? Do heroes just die just for their own glory? Since we are sometimes blind to the true reasons behind our actions, how can we ever be sure our own motivations aren't somewhat selfish?

We're not alone in our altruistic skepticism. According to Judith Lichtenberg in The New York Times,"[T]he view that people never intentionally act to benefit others except to obtain some good for themselves still possesses a powerful lure over our thinking."

The idea that humans are always motivated by selfishness is called "psychological egoism." Psychological egoists believe that even if an action seems altruistic, it's ultimately done for direct or indirect personal gain. The possibility of true self-sacrifice without receiving anything in return is completely ruled out.

Though they may not use the term, many people believe in psychological egoism for two reasons:

• As economists claim, every rational being behaves in his or her own self-interest.
• As Christianity teaches, humans are fallen and prone to selfishness.

However, psychological egoism challenges our Christian call to be self-sacrificing like Christ.

Self-interest and Selfishness

Before exploring how psychological egoism and self-sacrifice are at odds, we need to set one thing straight: there is a huge difference between self-interest and selfishness.

The distinction between self-interest and selfishness seems to be so blurred in public discourse that self-interest nearly means selfishness. But this is far from the true definition of self-interest.

Selfishness is a sin, but self-interest is necessary to live out the Christian life. While the Bible clearly condemns selfishness, self-interest is a good thing—it enables us to become well-functioning, contributing members of God's community. Self-interest motivates us to get up and go to work in the morning, to make friends, to care for our children, to drive carefully to work, and to go to church. It is even in our self-interest to be altruistic. Self-interest is not mutually exclusive from altruism in the Bible.

But is altruism also selfish if you like the way it makes you feel? No. Feeling good after an act of charity or self-sacrifice is not selfish. As Paul says in 2 Corinthians 9:7, "Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver."

God loves a cheerful giver. That means God wants us to give freely and enjoy the act of giving. Rather than attributing the benefit of cheer we feel after giving to our selfishness, we should accept this joy as a blessing from God. After all, joy is a fruit of the spirit (Galatians 5:22). Why would God want us to feel bad for doing something good?

God's Pleasure—and Ours

This brings us to a deeper and more theological question: Is it sinful for a Christian to seek joy and happiness in this life? Aren't we supposed to seek God, not our pleasure?

To answer questions about our own pleasure, we need to understand a crucial truth about hedonism, or pleasure-seeking. In 1986, John Piper introduced the term "Christian hedonism" in his book Desiring God: Meditations of a Christian Hedonist. Although the term "Christian hedonism" sounds like an oxymoron, it is not a contradiction at all. We are Christian hedonists because we believe the song of Psalm 16:11: "You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness and joy, in your right hand are pleasures forevermore."

According to Piper, Christian hedonism is desiring the vast, ocean-deep pleasures of God more than the mud-puddle pleasures of wealth, power, or lust. Unfortunately, too many Christians have bought into the lie that God doesn't want us to be happy. Piper dispels this myth in his essay "What Is Christian Hedonism?"

We value most what we delight in most. Pleasure is a gauge that measures how valuable someone or something is to us. Pleasure is the measure of our treasure.

[. . .]

If a friend says to you, "I really enjoy being with you," you wouldn't accuse him of being self-centered. Why? Because your friend's delight in you is the evidence that you have great value in his heart. In fact, you'd be dishonored if he didn't experience any pleasure in your friendship. The same is true of God.

Even Christ, who offered the ultimate sacrifice in the history of the world, died for joy. Hebrews 12:2 tells us, "For the joy set before him he endured the cross." Knowing this truth should make our own giving and sacrifice all the more joyful.

We're supposed to flee from things that can kill us.

Active volcanoes, oncoming traffic, and snakes come to mind. So should sexual immorality. To Christians in a sexually confused culture, Paul issued this clear order: "Flee from sexual immorality" (1 Corinthians 6:18). That is, flee from the dangerous enjoyment of sexual pleasure outside of God's wise design for its enjoyment in marriage.

So how are you doing at fleeing?

Maybe you are fleeing into sexual immorality. Or maybe you're just thinking about it . . . all the time. You're already there, of course. Maybe you're running, but in circles. Images are glued to the walls of your brain. Or maybe this whole subject just adds to the feeling of shame.

Thankfully, God is committed to our sexual purity. Scripture says, "You were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body" (1 Corinthians 6:20). Christ died to purify our consciences and our very lives. What grace! When we see him we will be like him, but until then we flee sexual immorality.

What's your plan for the next encounter with temptation? Or for the next conversation with a friend, child, or spouse who needs your counsel?

Here's a strategy: F.L.E.E.

It's biblical, it's hard to forget, and it fits on a napkin.

First, fill yourself with Christ.

The seductress of Proverbs 9:17 says, "Stolen water is sweet, and bread eaten in secret is pleasant." That's the voice of the ancient serpent promising satisfaction to a hungry man passing by a pretty girl's house, "but he does not know that the dead are there" (9:18).

This is why the first step in our flight is to fill ourselves with Jesus Christ, who says, "I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst" (John 6:35). Sexual pleasure can never do what only God can. But Christ, on the other hand, is satisfaction.

How, then, do we fill ourselves with Christ?

• Believe he really is the bread of life: "whoever believes has eternal life. I am the bread of life" (John 6:47-48).
• Fill yourself with his Word: "Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God" (Matthew 8:4).
• Fill your life with his people: "Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another" (Colossians 3:16).

You get air out of a glass by filling it with something else, and you can shake that taste for stolen water by going to the One who offers "water welling up to eternal life" (John 4:14).

Second, lock out the lies.

Why do we run to instead of from sexual sin? Lies, I tell you!

If a koala so much as looks at me, I'm going to run. They're cute, but they have large claws, sharp teeth, and I've heard they can destroy you. Sexual immorality is similar. Sure, it looks just good. But watch this guy:

She seizes him and kisses him, and with bold face she says to him . . . "I have perfumed my bed. . . . Come, let us take our fill of love till morning." . . . With much seductive speech she persuades him. All at once he follows her, as an ox goes to the slaughter. (Proverbs 7:13-23)

Our flight from sexual immorality requires that we lock out the lies that give it power. Or, as Solomon said, "keep your way far from her" (5:8).

So what would that look like for you?

When and where are you hearing seductive speech? How can you get away? Whatever the cost—your smartphone, home internet, a relationship—if it helps you see God, it's a net gain. After all, "it is better for you to enter life with one eye than with two eyes to be thrown into the hell of fire" (Matthew 18:9).

Seduction's voice calls "to those who pass by" (Proverbs 9:15). Flee now! Better yet, don't pass by.

Third, exchange lies for truth.

Unless we retreat from the world, we're going to encounter seductive lies. Actually, we lie to ourselves. We are born exchanging the truth about God for a lie, along with everything else, including sex (Romans 1:25-26). For Christians, God reverses the exchange. While our old self was corrupt through deceitful desires, the new self is created after the likeness of God (Ephesians 4:22-24).

What, then, should you do when tempted? Unsheathe your sword and go on the offensive, rejecting lies and rehearsing truth:

• God is not stingy, but good (Deuteronomy 10:12-13).
• Sinful pleasures are not filling, but fleeting (Hebrews 11:24-26).
• People are not objects, but image bearers (Genesis 1:27).
• This is not private, but reaches heaven and eternity (Psalm 51:4).
• God does not approve of sin because he loves to forgive, but forgives to free us from sin (Romans 6:1-2).
• Sexual sin isn't harmless, but defrauding (1 Thessalonians 4:3-6).
• It will not be easy to turn back, as you are already hardening your heart (Hebrews 3:13).
• This is not inevitable, since God provides a way of escape (1 Corinthians 10:13).
• Your past does not define you, Christ's blood does (1 Corinthians 6:11).

Are you embracing lies, or exchanging them for the truth? Are you glorifying the body, or are you glorifying God with your body?

When seductive speech calls out, remember, "all her slain are a mighty throng" (Proverbs 7:26).

Finally, expose yourself to the light.

If you fall to sexual sin you will be tempted to hide in the dark and pretend it didn't happen. But remember: we are still sinners. So we confess sin.

Confession brings sin to the light and light to our eyes to see what we could never see in the dark: the holiness of God, the sinfulness of sin, and the glory of God's grace. John weaves these themes together beautifully:

God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. (1 John 1:5-7)

Coming to Christ means coming out of hiding to be exposed by the light and covered with Christ's blood. As Christians, the best thing to do, of course, is just stay in the light. But the best thing to do when we wander into the shadows is to run back. Confession is where that starts.

So, are you hiding? Confess your sins to God. He forgives! But don't stop there. "Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another" (James 5:16). That's what Christian friends are for.

It is good news that we are not condemned in Christ, and it is good news that we are no longer slaves to sin. My friends, flee from sexual immorality.

My life hasn't always gone the way I planned. I thought I would be married by the time I graduated from college. I wasn't. I thought for sure I would have at least two children by my 10-year high school reunion. I didn't. While I got married a few years after college, the quest to have children seemed harder than I expected. Instead of teaching a toddler how to say "mommy" and "daddy," I was teaching a marriage and family class to high school students.

I often felt like I was in limbo. I wanted to be home, caring for my husband and children, yet I was leaving my home every day to go teach an eager bunch of high school students. I felt like less of a woman. What I wanted so desperately was to bear and nurture life, yet all I saw every month was another negative pregnancy test.

What makes a woman a woman? Is it her prowess in the kitchen or devotion to her husband? Is it her ability to manage a variety of projects without having a meltdown, or the fact that she has given birth to a multitude of children? Or is it something else, something more?

We tend to define womanhood by the tasks, not the inherent qualities. Maybe you are always a bridesmaid yet never a bride. Or maybe you have hosted your fair share of baby showers only to be reminded every month that none of those showers will ever be for you. If you are single or unable to have children it often feels like you are in a holding pattern waiting for life to begin.

But the Bible presents a very different path for womanhood.

Ultimate Mark of Womanhood

Consider Sarah. She was barren, and even when she was finally able to conceive, she was old and had only one child (Genesis 21:1-7). She spent the majority of her years childless. Yet when we hear of her in the New Testament, we learn why she was considered a godly woman (1 Peter 3:5-6). Peter praised her not because she gave birth, but because she hoped in God. And consider Eve. God created Eve in his image long before she gave birth. Her distinctiveness as a woman was rooted in the fact that she bore God's image, not that she could birth a child (Genesis 1:27). 

The ultimate mark of womanhood is hoping in God, not giving birth or loving a husband, though these are beautiful and God-glorifying privileges. They are just not where we root our identity. Whenever you're tempted to question your value, always go back to the Bible. Do not listen to the internal voice sure to lead you astray.

There is tremendous encouragement for women who long to be wives and mothers. God declares us women, created in his image, valuable in his economy, and given a great singular purpose—to display his glory in our specific season. If we are infertile or unwillingly single, it is not the season we would choose. But it is ours, and it is a gift from God. In it we can either flourish or wither. We can either hope in God or despise his provision. He has given us everything we need to bear good fruit in this season (2 Peter 1:3-4). We don't have to wait until we get married or have a sweet baby in our arms. Because of what Christ accomplished, we have everything we need for today. Our neighbors need grace, orphans and neglected children need care, women need mentoring, husbands need encouragement, and your church needs a faithful member.

I had to learn in those years of infertility that God was meeting my desires to nurture and bear life by giving me classes full of impressionable students. As I taught about God's design for marriage and family I was investing in the lives of the next generation. I was not simply waiting for my life to begin. It was happening right in front of me if only I had eyes to see.

We are not on hold, dear sisters. It might feel like it some days, but God has put us exactly where he wants us in our particular season. As women who hope in God we can bear good fruit for his glory even when our heart is breaking or our dreams are dashed again. In this place our womanhood is most beautifully displayed.

I am standing with both of them, the one who looks like me on the left and the one who looks like her father on my right. They are tall, tall as me, and full of the willowy grace of hastily retreating girlhood.

He regards them. He smiles and says, "I'm glad I don't have daughters." He means it as a compliment. A lighthearted joke. We smile back and laugh.

I smile, yes—but I am thinking it was funnier the first time someone said it. When they were perched in a shopping cart in tutus, all of two-and-a-half feet tall. How many fathers of sons have said this? How many times? I'm glad I don't have daughters. Glad. I'm glad about it.

Why, I want to ask? Why glad? Are sons so much easier to raise? There are two of those under my roof as well. What is it about daughters that their absence in your home relieves you? Is it their emotions? Sons have those, too.

But I can see the answer as you look at my girls: how can that sweetness be brought safely to adulthood? Men you understand—the paths of their thinking, the patterns of their acting. If your sons act rashly with women the consequences can be minimized. If my daughters act rashly with men the consequences can be massive.

You think I should be afraid. You ascribe truth to the common crass joke that with a son you only have to worry about one set of sex organs, but with a daughter . . . 

No More Fear Mongering

I reject this analysis of the risk. I reject the fear-mongering apparitions of predatory sons and pregnant daughters as motivators for my parenting. This philosophy believes a pregnant daughter is the worst thing a parent has to fear. This is far from the truth. My greatest concern cannot be that they reach marriage unsullied and unharmed—it must be that they grow to love God above all else. If they make mistakes on the road to adulthood, even mistakes with permanent consequences, we must face them bravely and run to their Savior for forgiveness and help.

Do you think your sons are at less risk to be harmed by wrong decisions? You take too much comfort in their lack of a uterus. You have calculated the risk only in physical terms. There are always consequences for sin—some of them just gestate longer. If you considered my daughters as valuable as if they were your own, you would raise different sons. In all likelihood, one day you will have daughters. Raise sons who choose them well.

I am glad I have daughters. You must hear this: Glad. They are strong and smart and serene. They know what their bodies are capable of. They know what men's bodies are capable of. They are not afraid of your sons. And neither am I. They will know if your sons are worthy of their attention because their father's example has hard-wired them to recognize character. Instead of intimidating someone else's sons at the front door, he has wooed the hearts of his daughters every day of their lives. I am glad I have daughters, and by God's grace the father of their husbands will be glad I had them, too.

You do not mean to offend or challenge. I know this. My head measures your words and finds no fault, but my heart measures the culture that has taught you to repeat these lines. You catch me at a vulnerable moment.

They are running—running, I tell you—toward womanhood. No more tutus and sequined shoes. The heavy-lashed eyes of their dolls have long grown accustomed to the darkness on the highest shelf in the closet. On a day not far distant those two rumpled beds will remain neatly made side by side in the room they share. There will be no more jumbles of hangerless clothes, no twisted cords of curling irons, no fine dust of beauty products adhered to the sink top with a film of hairspray. They will be gone. Let it be known that there has been gladness in their growing and going. Let it be known that I have been glad beyond measure.

You may have noticed the recent volley of criticism against the evangelical sex culture. No, not the trends toward loose morals, but the Christian fascination with virginity and purity. The casualties of the "purity movement" are starting to speak out.

Former fundamentalist and current feminist Elizabeth Esther looked back on her adolescence and said, "[W]e implied that a woman's inherent worth and dignity could be measured by whether or not a man has touched her." Those who fail to meet the physical requirements are "damaged goods."

Sarah Bessey continued the theme. She observes that she was "disqualified from true love" because of her previous sexual encounters. She and others "feel like the dirty little secret, the not-as-goods, the easily judged example." For those so shamed, Bessey enthuses,

There is no shame in Christ's love. Let him without sin cast the first stone. You are more than your virginity—or lack thereof—and more than your sexual past. Your marriage is not doomed because you said yes to the boys you loved as a young woman. Your husband won't hold it against you, he's not that weak and ego-driven, choose a man marked by grace.

Rachel Held Evans voiced her approval of both posts. The ever-bold Tony Jones wondered if Christians should "celebrate pre-marital sex," concluding, "Today, sex is everywhere. It's unavoidable. A new sexual ethic for Christians is desperately needed." A more moderate Emily Maynard condemned "virgin" and "non-virgin" as philosophical categories for human beings. 

They all have a point. Too often in an over-sexualized culture, Christians engage in what Elizabeth Esther calls "reverse objectification." Purity policing leads to a strange objectivism—a surrender to the sexual message of the age. Christians risk ceding the argument that a woman is a purely sexual object when it comes to her visible physical nature. So in response, her body must be hidden or else made ugly to keep the spirit clean and pure. In the end, much unjust suffering comes down upon girls and the rest of society because of various abuses.

Much like Islamic settings, Christian fundamentalist cultures can shame women and eschew human beauty. Some religious folks resort to a "steaming pile of legalistic shame-mongering." When a religious community sees the human body along utilitarian lines while sacred texts forbid sexual misconduct, they resort to deontological ethics—unwavering adherence to rules. In certain circles, there is an underlying assumption that God punishes the sin of fornication by ruining the future marriage, when that may not in fact be the case. But sin is much more deceptive and subtle.

Individualism Gone Wild

At the same time, all is not well with these virginity critiques. The underlying complaint seems to demand that we accept different decisions without critique or even regret. But sin—especially sexual sin—affects the entire community. Likewise, fornication (as with any other sin) interrupts communion between God and man and thus must be reconciled through Christ.

The sin of fornication is not minimized by "mutual consent." Contrary to popular belief, the Old Testament is not chauvinistically patriarchal, and the Scriptures are clear on sexual mores. The most honest skeptics intimate sexual standards based in an old book should be thrown out altogether. Couples "really committed" to each other, we hear, should be able to do as they please outside the bounds of traditional matrimony.

What a strange understanding of commitment! This new standard eliminates the risk of love. The traditional understanding of the marriage covenant requires trust, especially in the sexual realm. A couple is taking a plunge into the world of family life because they love each other. Couples who abstain until marriage tell one another, "I love you so much that I will surrender my body to you. I have denied the pleasures of a moment for a life tied to only yours in this dangerous world, from this point on."

For generations, this model of marriage has proven remarkably resilient. In this context, love can be truly maddening—people do crazy things like have children together, stick together through debilitating diseases, and mutually endure declining health. On the other hand, what reason do the "really committed" have not to jump from one sex partner to the next? One could conclude that such "commitment" is merely strong emotion—a passion of the moment—that has little to do with true resolve.

Thankfully, healing is possible for couples who do not abstain. The gospel of Jesus Christ can overcome any sin! Still, pastors who counsel couples tell me the process of restoring trust is long and painful. Virginity does not make someone "better," but young Christians deny themselves the fullness of romantic love by fornication. They will only make things worse by lying to themselves about it.

For the longing singles among us, we have heard it said that love is patient. So go out there, date, and maybe get married. Just do not make allowance for the lustful flesh.

January has come and gone. A little more than 8 percent of 2013 has already passed. Now is an especially good time to ask ourselves (and each other!) how our personal Bible reading is going. Many of us began a new Bible reading plan on January 1. Such plans can be helpful. You should try one. They can help you to be more consistent in your Bible reading; they can help to get you into a steady, daily diet of the Word; they can help you get through whole books and into previously unexplored parts of the Bible over the course of the year. It's never a bad time to get going on one or get back on one.

Regardless of your Bible reading plan (or lack thereof), you probably had a general desire for your Bible reading to be better in 2013 than it was in 2012—to read more, to read more consistently, to read more thoughtfully, to read more passionately, and/or to better apply it to our daily life. So how's it going?

Maybe so far in 2013 your Bible reading hasn't gone according to plan; it hasn't increased or improved as you'd hoped. Let me suggest several possible reasons why Bible reading might feel weak and wearisome, and suggest some ways in which those weaknesses might be helped.

Maybe you're a type-A personality who's fallen behind on your reading plan.

Maybe you're using a plan that assigns texts to specific dates. Falling behind means you're now on the wrong date. So you leave the Bible alone and decide to straighten or alphabetize something. Don't! Just keep going. Or switch to a reading plan that doesn't use dates. Remember, Bible reading plans were made for Bible reading; Bible reading was not made for Bible reading plans.

Maybe you've become accustomed to not eating.

If we fast from food for a few days our bodies become accustomed to not eating. The Bible is likened to food more than once (e.g., 1 Peter 2:2). We need it for our spiritual survival and sustenance. But if it's been a long time since you've had a steady diet of the Word, your spiritual stomach has shrunk and become indifferent to spiritual nourishment. This isn't healthy, and it can't go on indefinitely. So resolve to nurse yourself back to health even if you have to start small.

Related, maybe your new reading plan is too rigorous, at least for now.

Whether you have a spiritual appetite or not, you may have bitten off a bit more than you can chew. Going from a random verse for the day to the McCheyne Reading Plan is a step in the right direction, but if you're not keeping up with McCheyne, you might try doing it at half or one-fourth of the pace.

Maybe you're approaching your Bible reading in a performance-based way. 

It's good to keep track of progress no matter the discipline. But if you're reading the Bible only to feel better about yourself or appease God then a checklist can be dangerous. Go to the Bible to get more of God, not to get more gold stars. Go to the Bible to get your soul happy in God, not satisfied in yourself.

Maybe you're paralyzed with guilt for having done poorly yesterday.

Have you ever felt unworthy to pray or open the Bible? I have. How ironic when it's a book about and for sinners who need grace. We need the Bible most when we've read and obeyed it the least. Confess your sin boldly and in faith open your Bible to find comfort. Soak yourself afresh in the gospel.

Maybe it feels dry, mechanical, and, truth be told, you even wonder why regular Bible intake is needed.

Here's where another discipline should be partnered with Bible reading: preaching to yourself about what the Bible is, what it does, and why you need it. Psalm 119 is basically 176 verses of this encouragement. When the Bible feels stale and our reading feels empty, go to Psalm 119. Pray to God and preach to yourself about the need to feel the weight and worth of God's Word in our lives.

Maybe you have false expectations about the work and discipline of Bible reading.

Are you under the mistaken impression that Bible reading is easy and glorious if you're spiritual enough? Remember, Paul told Timothy, "Discipline yourself for the purpose of godliness" (1 Timothy 4:7). It is not unspiritual to do what the flesh resists. Determination, resolve, and self-discipline are necessary for even the most consistent and experienced Bible-readers.

Maybe you have too high of expectations for this season of life.

Perhaps you're a mom of a few tots. Before children, your times of Bible reading and praying were sweet, slow, and steady. Praise God for those seasons! But you're not in one of them now. Do what you can, starting with reading this new mom's testimony and this good advice from Don Whitney.

Maybe you're in a part of Scripture right now that is new and unfamiliar to you.

Maybe you don't understand the "big picture" of the story. The Bible is a big book; it is a long, multi-millennia story, each part building upon and pointing to others. Maybe you didn't grow up in church hearing the stories of the Old Testament. Then again, many of us grew up in church hearing the stories but still have no idea in what order they go or if it even matters. A little book, God's Big Picture, is helpful in laying out, well, the big picture of the Bible. Read it alongside your Bible plan.

Maybe you find yourself all too often scratching your head wondering what a word or phrase means.

If so, get something like the ESV Study Bible. Look down in the footnotes when you need some help. Go to the back for a longer explanation about a biblical or theological concept. Or check out this article that recommends other resources for interpreting the Bible.

Maybe you haven't found a consistent time or place to do Bible reading and prayer.

Habits form much more easily with consistency. In our busy culture, consistency has to be planned. Chances are, there are some bad times of the day for you to try to read and pray. Chances are, there some good and some bad places in your home for Bible reading. Find the best spot at the best time and keep to it. By God's grace, in time, it will become a sweet, familiar place and time for you to meet with the Lord.

Maybe you're compartmentalizing your Bible reading from the rest of your day.

Healthy Bible intake seeks to bring the Bible to the whole of life. No matter how consistent our schedule, if our thoughts about the Bible are separated by 23 or more hours, we will not use our "swords" like we should. Here's a practical recommendation: No matter the amount of Bible you read in your "quiet time," take one verse, something that stood out to you, and write it on a 3x5 card or sticky tab. Put it in your pocket, on your desk, or on your dash. Several times per day look at it, say it, think on it, pray it back to God. If the Bible is like food and eating, remember, snacks are good!

Maybe this part of your life is actually too personal.

Do you have anyone in your life who will ask you how it's going and what you've been reading? If not, seek one out. Find someone and read the Bible together. Find a more mature friend who can help you with how to read and understand the Bible.

I could go on and on with possible diagnoses for the shortcomings of our Bible reading. I know because I have experienced these and many others myself. Maybe you, too, see yourself in one or more of these diagnoses. Don't think I intend to make Bible reading more complicated or to simply add more tasks. Use this list as a diagnostic tool to help you narrow in on one or two practical or spiritual ways that Bible reading is hindered and might be helped. This thing of God's Word is "no trifle for you, but your very life" (Deuteronomy 32:47). May God do great things in us through his Word in the rest of 2013.

Tyrannical rule normally ends badly. Bullying bishops, strong-handed elders, and death-dealing dictators often see their abusive power structures collapse under their own weight. However, the timing of such events is far less predictable. Nations and organizations will labor years under over-bearing leaders who sustain their power by constructing false narratives, playing on fears, and using old-fashioned intimidation. Even when removed from power, authoritarian leaders frequently haunt their former dominions.

Unfortunately, similar dynamics operate in our spiritual lives.

As Christians, we follow a victorious King who, rising from the dead, overthrows the usurping tyrant of the world, Satan (Lk. 4:5-7; 11:14-23). Indeed, Satan's grip, holding us in death, is an abusive and de-humanizing exercise of power. He is bent on destruction, twisting and maiming his subjects for his own ends. However, Jesus, submitting to death on the cross, destroyed Satan's dominion by rising from the dead (Heb. 2:14-15). Death could not hold "the Holy and Righteous One" (Acts 3:14) because Satan had no rightful claim upon him (Acts 2:24, 31). Evil over-reached, and in so doing, destroyed itself.

However, though defeated, Satan's power is not yet vanquished (Eph. 4:27; 6:11; 2 Cor. 2:11; 1 Pet. 5:8). His shadow lingers as he continues to impose his defunct authority.

Unfortunately, Christians frequently fail to appreciate the connections between their daily struggles with sin and this unfolding cosmic drama. But they are real and important to recognize, no matter how allergic we are to talk of the supernatural world.

Prior to our conversion, we are slaves of this tyrant (Rom. 6:15-20). Like Pharaoh, Satan is a ruthless taskmaster, demanding more bricks be made from less and less straw. Yet we do his bidding, willingly. Tragically, we are sympathetic to our master's agenda, even though he exploits us, paying horrendous wages (Rom. 6:23).

Fortunately, God has rescued us from the iron fist of the tyrant. Through Jesus' death and resurrection, he has toppled the Devil's power, transferring us from the dominion of sin and death into the realm of grace and righteousness (Rom. 6:11, 14, 17-18; Col. 1:13).

Audacious Truth

So what does this mean for the Christian daily dealing with sin?

First, we are free from the tyrant's accusations. This is what Satan does, he accuses (in Hebrew "Satan" literally means, "the accuser"). However, in Christ, he has no power to condemn us (Rom. 8:31). Consider what John writes in Revelation 12:10-11:

And I heard a loud voice in heaven, saying, "Now the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God and the authority of his Christ have come, for the accuser of our brothers has been thrown down, who accuses them day and night before our God. And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death."

Satan seeks to hold us in his power by accusing us, burdening our conscience with guilt and shame. Like Victor Hugo's infamous Javert, Satan knows only accusation, failing to comprehend grace. But Christ has destroyed his power, settling the legal demands, and bringing an end to his charges (Col. 2:14-15). Therefore, don't allow Satan to take up authority where he has none. His accusations have been erased---forever nullified---by Jesus' death and resurrection. Take hold of Jesus' victory in faith and silence the indictment of our enemy.

Second, we are free from the tyrant's control. Once slaves, now we are sons (Rom. 8:15; Gal. 4:7). As sons, we are again slaves, but slaves of a new Master---Jesus Christ (Rom. 6:16-18). He exercises his authority over us, not to destroy, but to free us. Yes, we are under authority, but a new kind of authority, one that gives life, leading us unto love and righteousness (Rom. 6:18, 22; 1 John 3:9-10).

As Christians, our great challenge is to believe the audacious truths that God's grace bestows on us when we are united to Jesus. As newly emancipated slaves, we don't always know how to handle grace. Long accustomed to the brutality of the tyrant, our categories don't allow for such freedom. But consider what Paul writes in Romans 6:17-18:

But thanks be to God, that you who were once slaves of sin have become obedient from the heart to the standard of teaching to which you were committed, and, having been set free from sin, have become slaves of righteousness.

When we believe in Jesus (this is what Paul means by saying "become obedient from the heart to the standard of teaching"), we are set free from sin's tyranny over us. In other words, God emancipates us at conversion. No longer slaves of sin, we are slaves of God empowered to bear fruit (Rom. 6:22; 7:4). New life, from the risen Jesus, fills our bodies, motivating, enabling, and sustaining us as we follow our new Master.

Our challenge is to live by faith, trusting that Jesus has liberated us. In such faith, we then progressively put sin to death and bear fruit for God. Certainly, we are not to expect perfection (1 Jn. 1:8, 10), but we are also not to presume mediocrity (1 Jn. 3:3-8). The former makes too little of sin while the latter makes too little of grace. The Spirit of Christ lives within us, granting us a new heart with new affections and capabilities (Rom. 8:9-11).

Jesus frees us from Satan's accusations and tyranny, allowing us to follow him as slaves of righteousness. Don't allow the tyrant to trespass into realms where his authority has been dismissed. Take up your freedom, given in Christ Jesus, and experience the liberating power of grace.

Every human institution and society has its own list of sins and virtues that contradict the law of God. With the rise of the Millennial generation in evangelical churches, a vice is creeping up into the realms of acceptance, indifference, or at least resignation: fornication (i.e. extramarital sex or unchaste living).

A few decades ago, this was one of the main issues that evangelicals hammered in their social witness. The skeptical news cycle and entertainment industry mocked this often; they saw pleas for chastity as a laughable result of pietistic sexual repression and no small bit of hypocrisy. Theological leaders and other influential voices chided their fellow believers for obsessing over a select set of sexual taboos.

Now, however, the exhortations have eased off. Commentary from Tim Keller at the latest Q Conference in New York is quite telling. "We're not doing well on the sex side," he confessed. Talking about his church, Keller said, "We're just like the rest of the city. If I preach like that [on sexual ethics], everybody gets real quiet."

Similarly, the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy discovered 80 percent of unmarried evangelicals between the ages of 18 and 29 had engaged in sex. Using a more stringent definition of "evangelical," the National Association of Evangelicals (NAE) recently reported that 44 percent of millennial evangelicals had sex outside marriage. Of course, just because Christians oppose sexual immorality does not mean they never struggle with it. Nevertheless, in this sort of moral environment, harping on moral sex lives is analogous to starting an abolitionist church in the antebellum South. Thanks to the public liturgy of Hollywood and our own human inclinations, fornication has been normalized and poses a massive obstacle to effective pastoral ministry.

Shut Up and Stay Out of Sex Lives

More disturbingly, many young evangelicals are trying to loosen the standards of the moral law to fit their desire to become sexually active before committing to marriage. Some are direct, telling the church to shut up and stay out of their sex lives. They say that Jesus wants his followers to pursue justice, provide for the poor, minister to the outcasts, and otherwise love their neighbors as themselves. They claim Christ did not send his disciples out to be the sex police, and the early church focused instead on counter-cultural community-making.

Of course this argument is contradicted by the historical evidence. For example, Polycarp (student of St. John the Apostle) instructed women to be "loving all [others] equally in all chastity." Likewise, he urged young men to be "especially careful to preserve purity." Speaking of Valens (a man estranged from church discipline by his indiscretions), Polycarp taught, "I exhort you . . . that ye be chaste and truthful. 'Abstain from every form of evil.'" In the Epistle of Mathetes to Diognetus, the author famously describes Christians: "They marry, as do all [others]; they beget children; but they do not destroy their offspring. They have a common table, but not a common bed. They are in the flesh, but they do not live after the flesh." The Apostolic Fathers and their standards for the ancient church are clear. We must not form the past and its teaching to suit our wants.

Costly Toll on the Soul

Other young evangelicals, however, are truly struggling with sexual morality---and often losing. I refer especially (but not solely) to pornography, in which one commits adultery in the heart. The toll this battle takes on the soul is costly. Perhaps this is why the popular folk band Mumford and Sons's music resonates so strongly with Christians. The group's lyrics often explore fall, redemption, grace, and love. For instance, band leader Marcus Mumford asks in "White Blank Page":

Can you lie next to her
And give her your heart, your heart
As well as your body
And can you lie next to her
And confess your love, your love
As well as your folly
And can you kneel before the king/And say I'm clean, I'm clean.

For too many young men, wracked with regret over their defeats and struggles, the answer is an ashamed "no."

Beware Acceptable Sins

Young evangelicals must choose their master. Right now, too many follow their appetites and desires. They are bending God's own standards to satiate their libido. Perhaps fear and repentance would not be amiss here---numerous portions of sacred Scripture indicate that sexuality expresses God's character as carried out in his image-bearers. The cost of trespassing providential limits is too high. Beware your acceptable sins---they are the ones that will kill you. When a society caves in to one particular sin and twists the gospel to defend it (e.g. the antebellum South with slavery) that vice will become a canker on the soul and will eventually bring it to ruin.

Christ Jesus lived a pure, spotless, and (notably) chaste life to buy his Bride on the cross. He proved his authority and victory in the resurrection. At Pentecost, he sent the Holy Ghost to empower and enliven his apostles to carry out a very special work. His disciples would be instruments to make a people for himself.

To this end, the single soul as well as the called-out community are sanctified. They war with the Devil, the world, and (especially relevant) the flesh. God grants his enabling grace to the saints that they might instantiate the renewed creation: husbands and wives bound in perfect unity or the celibate set apart for special kingdom service. This involves every part of human life, manifested in appropriate ways: the economy, almsgiving, kind acts, pursuit of political justice, and---yes---even sexuality.

A new year is upon us, and unless this one is much different from others, our conversations will be laden with talk of fitness goals and holiday diet missteps. The new year is traditionally a time for resurrecting our self-control, so this is no surprise. But this new year I have a different form of self-discipline in view---one with potentially longer-lasting effect than dropping a dress size.

Last year about this time I came across an article showing ads from the 1930s and 40s selling products to help people gain weight. The ads made claims that sounded completely comical to our modern ears: "Add 5 lb of solid flesh in a week!" "Since I gained 10 lb . . . I have all the dates I want!" I showed the ads to my daughters, who responded, "Mom, I don't think those are real. Have you checked that on Snopes?"

But they're real, all right, despite how preposterous they seem. My first reaction, I am ashamed to admit, was that I was born too late. How great would it be to live during a time when well-padded women held the glamour-girl title? (As long as I'm being honest, I had a similar reaction to learning that in South America women get implants in their bottoms to achieve their culture's ideal shape. By some cruel twist of fate, had I been born on the wrong continent? Why couldn't I live where hips were hip?)

But of course, to seriously entertain these thoughts is to drink the Kool-Aid served up to women since the dawn of time: the belief that ideal physical beauty exists and should be pursued at all costs. For much of human history, the curvy beauty has prevailed. Statues of women from ancient Greece and Rome, much like Renaissance art, celebrate a body type we would call "plus size" today. Historically, padded women were considered beautiful, because only the rich and idle could achieve such a figure, and because curviness indicated fertility. For women of past generations curviness was extremely hard to achieve unless you had the money to eat well and work little. Thanks to trans fats and high-fructose corn syrup, this is no longer the case. Ironically, the rich and idle of today strive to look undernourished and overworked. And the rest of us rush to follow suit.

So would it have been better to live during a time when well-fed women were hailed as beauties? I doubt it. Because the issue is not "fat versus thin"---it is "perfect versus imperfect." Women have always defined themselves by (enslaved themselves to?) some ideal of physical beauty. Though its definition may change across the centuries, one element remains constant: it is always a definition of beauty just beyond our reach. We want what we cannot have. If curvy is hard, we want curvy. If thin is hard, we want thin.

The expectation of physical perfection hits modern females early and often. In middle school, girls cut themselves to deal with the pressures of conforming to the ideal. In middle age, women do, too---but allow the surgeon to hold the knife. We carve the record of our self-loathing into the very flesh of our bodies---a self-marring, a literal carving of an idol. Increasingly, physical perfection is the legacy of womanhood in our culture, handed down with meticulous care from mother to daughter, with more faithful instruction in word and deed than we can trouble to devote to cultivating kindness, peacemaking, and acceptance that characterize unfading, inner beauty.

In this as in all things, there is hope and good news for the believer: one day we will be free of our self-loathings and live in harmony with our physical appearance. We will be given new, incorruptible bodies---bodies that are no longer on a collision course with the grave. We dare not reduce this future hope to that of an eternity with thinner thighs or a smaller nose. We must celebrate it as the day when vanity itself is dealt a fatal and final blow.

But how should we live in the meantime? By all means, we should steward the gift of our physical bodies---but for the sake of wellness, not beauty. Two women can step onto two treadmills with identical fitness goals and widely different motives. Only they will know the real reason they run.

January is typically a time when we talk a great deal about calories, work-outs, and weight loss. What if we didn't? What if we didn't talk about body sizes at all? What if we made it a point not to mention our own calorie sins or victories in front of our girlfriends and daughters? What if we started living in right relation to our bodies now, instead of waiting for the resurrection? What if every time we looked in the mirror and were tempted to complain we said, "Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven," laying claim to the future hope that our bodies will one day celebrate function in right relation to form, living in the glorious truth of that future hope now?

What if in 2013 we decided to fast not from food but from body-talk? Sure---hit the gym, eat the Paleo diet, run six miles a day, wear Spanx from neck to knee. Just stop talking about it. Stop telling your friend she looks skinny---instead tell her you love her sweet spirit. Choose compliments that spur her to pursue that which lasts instead of that which certainly does not. If someone comments on your own shape, say thanks and change the subject. Banish body-talk to the same list of off-limits topics as salaries, name-dropping, and colonoscopies. Apply the discipline you use to work out to controlling your tongue. Do this for your sisters, and by the grace of God, we could begin a legacy of womanhood that celebrates character over carb-avoidance, godliness over glamour.

Sister in Christ, physical perfection is not within our grasp, but, astonishingly, holiness is. Where will you devote your energy in the new year? Go on a diet from discussing shape and size. Feast on the Word of Truth. Ask this of yourself for your sake, for the sake of your friends and daughters, for the sake of the King and his kingdom. On earth as it is in heaven.