Dec
10
2010
“Pastoral Narcissism: The Shadow Side of Ambition”
A very good article on pastoral narcissism, otherwise known as “pride,” over at CT. A snippet:
Recently I came home to find my wife researching narcissism on the computer. We have been in counseling for a few years and during a session where we discussed my relentless ambition, the phrase “narcissistic leanings” came up. My wife was researching the concept to see if it fit me and what the implications might be for our marriage.
At first she was embarrassed that I caught her, but I was interested as well, so we read the characteristics of narcissism together on the screen.
My immediate thought was, This isn’t a problem for me. Narcissism is the adulation of the self, the diminishment of others, and often expressed as reckless ambition. Nothing could be more inconsistent with the character of Christ—the self-sacrificing servant who sought only to do the will of his Father. How can I be a pastor, a servant of Christ, and struggle with this?
But as we read the definitions online, without saying a word we both knew we were reading an accurate description of me. I am a believer and yet I remain a sinner. I am a pastor and I’m often a self-promoter. I endeavor to serve Jesus and I also have narcissistic tendencies.
Consider the entire article for a bit of helpful heart-searching, conviction, and grace. I especially appreciated the way he points to community as both a necessary corrective and also a place of temptation (people pleasing). Good stuff. His conclusion:
So there is a tension between being committed to our community (which keeps our calling within healthy boundaries) and being committed to God’s calling upon me (which keeps our community from having too much power over our leadership).
So now I recognize the twin temptations: pleasing people and pursuing personal platforms. Both extremes are disastrous.
So I confess: I am a pastor and a narcissist. There, it feels good to get it out. I’m still struggling, and I know others are as well. But together we can flee these temptations and pursue humility and faithfulness. I pray that a generation of “recovering self-promoters” can resist our narcissism and help our churches do the same.
HT: Shane.