Thabiti Anyabwile|6:38 pm CT

My Wife, Salsa, and Submission

For years now, my wife and I have threatened each other with the prospect of taking Latin dance classes. Believe me. It’s been so long since we’ve gone dancing that this is a real threat!

However, we really do love Latin dance. The flair. The choreography. And, yes, the romance. But we’ve yet to take a class. It’s in our bucket list.

But I’m afraid my wife has stepped up her campaign and gone public. Friday she had lunch with a woman who enjoys salsa with a passion. As it happens, this woman had questions about submission. Objections really. My wife offered her some good responses to her question, but felt she wasn’t really helping our friend that much. Then, somehow, salsa became the subject of conversation. Our friend explained at length how critical a good male leader is in salsa. It makes or breaks the dance. The woman must follow him if the dance is to be enjoyable. After several minutes of our friend’s lecture on male leadership in salsa, my wife very wisely concluded, “So you do understand submission.”

Here are the five lessons my wife deduced from her discussion of salsa:

Submission is hard. It’s especially hard when my desire is for my husband’s position as head (Genesis 3:16) and I want to pursue a different route than the one he deems best for our family.

Submission is for my husband. There are few ways to encourage my husband more than to show my respect for him as a man by trusting him enough to follow his lead. Of course, the Lord is at work, causing him to lead our family in an honorable way, or causing him to learn hard lessons that could only be learned through his mistakes in leading our family. But I must respect him enough to know that his intentions for our family are good, even when things don’t turn out as we’d planned or hoped for.

Submission is for God’s glory. He calls me to submit to Him so that the world would have a glimpse of his headship over the church.

Submission is also for my faith. When I would have chosen a different course of action than my husband, I must trust the Lord to work out His good purposes in that situation.

Submission is for my joy. When my husband loves me with a Christ-like love, giving himself for me, taking interest in my spiritual life, showing tender care and love for me, it brings me great joy. Joy in being his wife, and joy in knowing that Christ’s love for me is infinitely greater having demonstrated His great love toward me in that while I was still in my sin, He died for me.

Want to know more? Check out her post here.  If I might, I’d really encourage the husbands and men to read this post.  Good stuff for all of us trying to lead well and think well about loving our wives.

Meanwhile, I understand our new friend has offered to give us salsa lessons and take us to a local restaurant that regularly has salsa nights. My feet are hurting already!

Categories: Family, marriage

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