CT offers an interview with Tullian Tchividjian on a rather tumultuous merger of New City and Coral Ridges and the hope of the gospel that sustains them now.

No, that’s not a typo.

David Bergmark is the pastor of Immanuelskyrkan in Tranås, Sweden. A few years back David and the congregation studied What Is a Healthy Church Member? together.  He summarized the 10 marks into Swedish for those not comfortable reading English.  I don’t know how many Swedish folks read this blog or if any of you have Swedish folks in your congregations, but here’s a link to the posts David has written with his summaries.

In his preface to Spiritual Depression, Geoffrey Thomas relays the brief account of a young woman who visited Dr. Lloyd-Jones with concern for the church.  The woman in question was involved in a long evangelistic campaign in London.  The campaign, sponsored by an American evangelist, was not supported by Lloyd-Jones.  Being attracted to the campaign and its methods, the young woman made two visits to Lloyd-Jones with two critiques.  She claimed (a) that the gospel was not preached at Westminster Chapel, and (b) the people of the church lacked love for one another.  Here’s how she remembers the second conversation, which took place in a dark period of her spiritual life:

Woman: “We don’t love one another in this church.”

Lloyd-Jones (tenderly): “Don’t say that.  It’s the devil that makes you say that.”

A couple questions come immediately to mind for me.

1.  How would one individual in a church be able to pronounce that the entire church is without love?

How could any one person have data enough to conclude this?  And if the conclusion were accurate, we’d have to stop using the term “church” to describe that group of people.  For whatever we might call that body of people, we could not call it a “church” since love is a distinguishing mark of the church (John 13:34-35; 1 John 3:14-15).

The woman sounds humble.  After all, she says, “We don’t love one another.”  She seems to put herself in the crowd of calloused hearts.  But, in fact, this is little more than a dark pride.  By “we,” we’re better off understanding her to say “everyone else is like me.  If there is a defect in my love, then surely there must be a defect in everyone else’s.”  Or, she really stands accusing others and “we” becomes the polite disguise for her charge.  So “we” really becomes a finger-pointing “you all.”  Ever noticed the tendency to spread our own sins and faults onto others with words like “we” and “us.”  We have no empirical data and no ability to know the state of anyone’s soul–much less everyone’s.  But with the sheep’s clothing of “we” and “us,” the lurking wolf of our own depravity gobbles everyone else up in our sin or accusation.

How often are we tempted to say “we” when what we really mean is “I” or “You”?  I have this sin problem.  Or, I think all you have this sin problem.  But “I” feels too damaging to our self-image, and “you” seems to confrontational.  Pride and fear of man usually opts for plural first person pronouns.  That’s the best camouflage.

Note: Stop saying “we” when what I really mean is “I” or “you” or I can’t know the real state of “we.”

2.  As a pastor, would I tenderly but firmly tell the person “the devil makes you say that”?

That’s a bold response from Lloyd-Jones.  I admire it.  I admire it because the woman’s own testimony is that he was tender in saying it.  I also admire it because he is certainly correct.  What good is there in being tender if you’re not also truthful?

Lloyd-Jones reminds us that we ought to see and study God’s love among our churches.  The Spirit pours the love of God in our heart.  The Son demonstrates the love of God in His cross.  The Father shows His love by sending the Son into the world to save sinners.  The Christian participates in the fellowship of love between the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.  God is love.  We are loved.

If we cannot see love among the people of God, either these are not the people of God or the god of this world has blinded us to the love of God at work among us.  I am persuaded that most often it is the second cause–Satan’s blinding influence.  The enemy does not want us to see the love of God moving, renewing, strengthening, and sustaining the people of God.  He does not want us to know and rely upon the love God has for us, or to share that love with one another.  He tempts us to say untrue and unbelieving things.  Only Satan would prompt such a judgment as “We don’t love one another in this church.”  This, of course, means that sometimes we may speak as Satan’s dupes rather than as ambassadors of Christ.  Terrible shame.

If we believe our churches are made up of genuine born-again believers, we have every reason to believe our church family loves.  Our love will be imperfect.  There may be soft spots in it and some may slip through the cracks of our love.  We may be aware of deficiencies of various kinds.  But all the while, there surges and swells in the hearts of every Christian in our church an other worldly affection, a divine charity, an ineffable benevolence.

Because Christ lives in us, our love is so certain that statements to the contrary come only from the pits of hell.  Don’t speak for Satan.  Speak for Jesus.

Is your church family really loveless?  No, it’s not.  It’s full of God’s love.  Go discover, share, and nurture God’s love among God’s people.

The barbershop is the African American equivalent of the Areopagus. It’s where the philosophers philosphize on everything from politics, community affairs, relationships, religion, and sports. It was a university education for the price of a cut.  Even Jimmy Kimmel gets his head lined at the barbershop.

It was loud, too. At least where I hung out, the louder the better. You judged the quality of the conversation by the number of voices, the variety of opinion, and the decibel reading on laughter and jokes. And there always seemed to be one or two guys that sparked discussion (read, arguments) every time they entered the shop. They had the spiritual gift of controversy (some of those guys got saved and now use that gift in the church!).

Yesterday, I feel like I had my first real visit to the barbershop since moving to Cayman. Don’t get me wrong; I have been getting my hair cut (sometimes) over the five years we’ve been in Cayman. But by and larger, the barbershops have been quiet and civilized. Or, whenever things did get loud, I was either behind the curve on the issue itself, or I knew what they were topic about but couldn’t keep up with the Jamaican patois. You kinda don’t want to rush in when you’re picking up every 17th word.

The conversation began with further debate about who had the best cross-over in NBA history, moved to a brief generational discussion of the best player ever–spurred by Scottie Pippen’s recent remarks.  All of a sudden I found myself in a bona fide barbershop discussion!  It was sweet!

And just for the record, I think Scottie should put down the pipe.  LeBron James won’t be better than Jordan because he doesn’t have Jordan’s work ethic and maniacal competitive drive.  Moreover, James left Cleveland in the most inappropriate way when Jordan remained in Chicago to help build the franchise and get it over the hump.  Jordan wanted the ball to close the game; it seems James is happy to set a pick while Wade closes.  Should Miami win a ring this year, it will be James’ first and he will no doubt have that dark Kobe-Shaq like cloud hanging over his head.  People will say “he had to go to Miami with a superstar team to win the ring; he couldn’t do it on his own.”

Personally, James lost a lot of points with me when he left Cleveland in the way that he did.  He left the team hanging for weeks.  And it wasn’t just the team he left, but also for all intents and purposes his home and family.  It was ugly.

Driving home, it occurred to me that some Christians leave their churches much the way James left Cleveland.  They leave the spiritual family hanging for weeks or months.  Rather than step up and play the man or woman, helping to build the team to get over the hump, they look to join the “all-star team” across town, where the preaching is stellar, the worship heavenly, the children’s program Disney, and the youth group cool.  Meanwhile, those who loved them feel the loss and a spiritual hole in their lives.

You see?  You can learn about everything in the barbershop.  Even church membership.  Just don’t approach membership in your church the way LeBron approached his decision in Cleveland.  The people of Cleveland deserved better.  God’s people definitely deserve better.

By the way, who is the greatest NBA player of all time?

Obey your leaders and submit to their authority. They keep watch over you as men who must give an account. Obey them so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no advantage to you. (Heb. 13:17)

“Happy pastors make healthy people.”

(John Piper, “No One Will Take Your Joy from You;” check around minute 43)

“The very fact that you have lawsuits among you means you have been completely defeated already.  Why not rather be wronged?  Why not rather be cheated?  Instead, you yourselves cheat and do wrong, and you do this to your brothers.” (1 Cor. 6:7-8)

As a church, we’re still benefitting from the conference ministry of Ken Sande, Annette Friesen, and Peacemaker Ministries.  We’re continuing to see people strive for peace in their relationships.  We’re learning more and more that one practical outworking of the gospel–tightly held, deeply believed–is reconciliation between God’s people.

In God’s providence, since the conference we’ve been studying 1 Corinthians 6 in our Wednesday night Bible study.  Our Wednesday nights have been a good reinforcement of many of the peacemaking principles we’ve learned and are practicing with God’s help.  And more and more we’re seeing that our ability to live as a community of peace, which pleases God (1 Tim. 2:2-3), either affirms or denies our testimony of Christ’s redemptive work in our lives.  The presence or absence of peace testifies to a watching, unbelieving world.

As one commentator puts it:

A united community in which love dominates is the existential affirmation of the truth of the gospel.  A community which contains within itself the divisions which characterize ‘the world’ has no power to transform its environment, because the contradiction between theory and practice is too evident.

–J. Murphy-O’Connor, 1 Corinthians (Wilmington, DE: Glazier, 1979); cited in David E. Garland, 1 Corinthians (Baker), p. 210.

Have you thought lately about the unity of your church family and its affirmation of the truth of the gospel?  Have you prayed lately for the unity of your church?  Have you thought and prayed that your church’s unity might be used of the Lord to transform your community?  May the Lord close the gap between gospel theory and gospel practice in all His churches!

That’s the question discussed in this video from CCEF.  It’s an important question in an age where many have arm’s length relationships with the local church, often because of hurts, pains, and failures.  This is a good 8-minute investment.

Helping those hurt by the church – A CCEF Video Podcast from CCEF on Vimeo.

Some of the suggestions/notes from the video:

1.  Determine the issue: How did the church actually hurt the person?  What was the issue?

2.  Don’t assume: Be aware that you’re getting one side of the story.  Don’t assume you’re getting all the information.  Without disparaging the person’s story, remember that there is another side.

3.  Relationship history: What else is going on in the person’s life?  Are there other painful relationships and experiences affecting the person’s outlook?  Is this how the person typically handles conflict?

4.  Recognize the invitation to listen and empathize: By telling you of their hurts, the person may be inviting you to listen and empathize.  They may be giving you access to tender and vulnerable areas of their life.

5.  Help them identify their own contribution: Give plenty time to listening and understanding their pain.  But having done that, you may discover places where the person should identify and own their sin and contribution to the hurt.

6.  Remember: The person probably has not experienced the blessing of community.  So, one major goal is to bring a healthy church experience to them.  How can we create–perhaps in miniature–good relational experiences between the person and the church?

7.  Avoid saying: (1) God wants you to go to church; (2) You should go to church because you need to grow spiritually; or (3) Going to church is the only way to follow Jesus.  These may be true statements, but they may not be helpful or beneficial to the person at that moment.

Helping someone who has been hurt by their church may come down to the reality that you yourself are the church to them, prayerfully incarnating a positive experience of the church with the hopes of seeing them reconnected.

Check the audio here.  If you haven’t already, you might be interested to read Leeman’s excellent book, The Church and the Surprising Offense of God’s Love.

I appreciated this pastor’s use of What Is a Healthy Church Member? so much, that I thought I’d link to it for any interested.  Very thoughtful and I pray fruitful in the life of this church.

If you’re using the book and have some suggestions for others, please feel free to leave a comment.  Critiques and improvements also welcome!

I love reading or hearing from Kevin DeYoung on the local church.  From C.J., recapping Kevin DeYoung’s message at Next 2010:

To close out his Next 2010 conference message, “The Church,” Kevin DeYoung gave a list of suggestions for how to be a difference maker in the local church. He said:

• Find a good local church.
• Get involved.
• Become a member.
• Stay there as long as you can.
• Put away thoughts of a revolution for a while.
• Join the plodding visionaries.
• Go to church this Sunday and worship in Spirit and truth.
• Be patient with your leaders.
• Rejoice when the gospel is faithfully proclaimed.
• Bear with those who hurt you.
• Give people the benefit of the doubt.
• Say “hi” to the teenager that no one notices.
• Welcome the old ladies with the blue hair and the young men with tattoos.
• Volunteer for the nursery.
• Attend the congregational meeting.
• Bring your fried chicken to the potluck like everybody else.
• Invite a friend.
• Take a new couple out for coffee.
• Give to the Christmas offering.
• Sing like you mean it.
• Be thankful someone vacuumed the carpet for you.
• Enjoy the Sundays that “click.”
• Pray extra hard on the Sundays that don’t.
• And in all of this, do not despise the days and weeks and years of small things (Zechariah 4:8–10).
I cannot recommend this message too highly. Please take time to download and listen to “The Church” by visiting the resource page at thisisnext.org.

Good counsel–both Kevin’s list of 20 and C.J.’s recommendation to listen to the sermon.