The Gospel Coalition

One of the amazing things about the Ten Commandments and the entire Law of Moses is just how detailed these commands are. God’s Law covers every area of life. You can’t pick and choose which parts of life should come under God’s reign. God is involved in every part.Some people think that Christianity is all about suppressing sex. That’s one of the misconceptions about the Christian faith. In response to this, some Christians have said, “God isn’t really all that interested in what people are doing with their bodies. Sex isn’t a big deal. The Bible has some rules, but they’re a little too prudish for today, so if you don’t follow them, it’s not a big deal.”

As a result, our culture is spinning down a black hole of sexual anarchy. Adultery is commonplace in society. Remember The Bridges of Madison County, a movie that was nothing more than a glorification of adultery? The greeting card industry now includes adultery with its “secret lover” section. No joke!

Ten years ago, when Clinton’s sex scandals were going on, many people were saying, “What does it matter? What he does in private shouldn’t be a factor!” What does that mentality say about us as a country? It doesn’t matter if a man breaks his wife’s heart and breaks his vow of marriage… as long as he does his job? If you don’t keep the vow you made to your wife and to God, then what makes you think I can trust you to govern the country?

Adultery undermines the family, marriage, parenthood. It undermines trust. How can we trust each other as a society if we can’t trust each other in our marriages?

What does Scripture say about sex? 

We should thank God for the Puritans! The Roman Catholics before the Reformation had lifted up celibacy as the ideal, so much so that there were 183 holy days in a year in which sexual relations were forbidden. Even sex within marriage was seen as bad, a necessary evil. The Reformation changed all that.

The Puritans looked at Scripture and said, “Sex is awesome! Sex is a gift from God.” And they pointed to Scripture and the book of Song of Solomon as proof.

The Bible celebrates sex. Sex is sacred. God is pro-sex! God created sex for our pleasure and for the human race to continue.

But what do we humans do with sex? We divorce it from marriage. We call it things like “scoring,” “hitting” “hooking up.” Our culture thinks that to deny someone’s sexual expression is to deny the highest of that person’s humanity. So all sexual expression is okay, no matter its relationship to marriage or if it’s bathed in true love.

One of the problems in society is the idea that you are committed as long as your love shall last, not until death do you part. But at a marriage ceremony, the question is not “do” you love someone, but “will” you love someone? It’s a vow. A decision! Sometimes you won’t feel like loving and sticking by your spouse. But you made a vow! And God blesses the one who sticks by it.

What does this commandment tell us about God?

The marriage of husband and wife points to the marriage of Christ and his church. God says that marriage is created to be a picture of God.

This means that every act of sexual immorality is spiritual desecration. God compares idolatry to “adultery.” Every time Israel in the Old Testament goes down the wrong path and begins worshipping idols, God tells them they are committing spiritual adultery. There are portions of Scripture that very graphically portray this. 

God calls idolatry adultery and vice versa. It appears the God of Israel is very opinionated about what we do with our bodies! In scripture God is described as a jealous God. As a jealous husband, God will not share His people with pagan deities. He will call that sin what it is…adultery.

What does this commandment tell us about ourselves?
 First off, marriage is important. It’s a contract between us, our spouse, and God. So, this law is designed to protect marriage. God sees marriage as something sacred, and sex as something sacred to be preserved within the confines of that covenantal relationship.

There is a spiritual quality in our sexual desires. There is something very sacred about sex and sexuality, and that is perhaps one of the reasons that our society is sex-obsessed. Our culture talks about sex a lot because we enjoy it too little! Our society is grasping for anything sacred, anything transcendent, that is mysterious or unable to be explained. For many people, the sexual consummation of a relationship is about the only thing left to try.

But society is doing this in inappropriate ways – ways not laid out by Scripture. And the bedroom is feeling pretty full. The Jewish Talmud teaches that when a man who has previously been married marries a woman who has previously been married, four persons go to bed.

This commandment also refers to other kinds of sexual immorality. Fornication. Having sex before the covenant of marriage takes place is also forbidden in Scripture. Sex outside of marriage cheapens marriage and it cheapens sex. And God does not want to see either of these great gifts cheapened!

So, we live in a society where people are looking for love, but settling for sex. We live in a world in which men are encouraged to have sex as much as possible with as many women as possible, because that is what “being a man” is all about. I still the think the old Chinese proverb is good: A great lover is not a man who can please a different woman every night, but one who can please one woman for a lifetime.

Sexual sin is a failure of godly manliness. To gain mastery over sexual sin, begin living self-sacrificially instead of self-indulgently. Self-indulgence will lead to sexual sin. Many guys that have issues with pornography also battle weight issues. Why is that? Because lack of self-control in one area leads to more self-indulgence in another. And the person just turns inward further and further into a fantasy-land.

Pornography is one way that we commit adultery in our minds. Porn is instant, accessible, anonymous. You can do it and not get caught. You can do it and it stay unknown. You can look lustfully from page to page, woman to woman, and it never ends. And instead of enjoying the fulfillment of true sexual union with someone else, we settle for a propped up parody that robs us of the joyful expectations of fulfillment in marriage.

The ancient Christians believed “lust” was one of the seven deadly sins. Jesus intensifies the adultery commandment by saying that undressing a woman in your mind is committing adultery in your heart. It’s a heart issue, not just a physical action.

I will say something in defense of us guys. Women, be careful how you dress. Don’t make it easy for a guy to undress you mentally. For some women, it doesn’t take much to imagine a woman naked, because they’re not too far from it anyway, especially in the summer time. Don’t be a stumbling block! Don’t ruin someone else’s marriage. Don’t look for that kind of attention.

How does Jesus fulfill this commandment in our place?
 Jesus lives the totally pure life. Now this does not mean that Jesus lived a life free from any kind of sexual temptation. The book of Hebrews tells us that Jesus was tempted in every way that we are. That means he was tempted to lust after women, to fantasize, to have sex outside of marriage. Jesus was tempted, but he never fell. He didn’t let the first look turn into the second look. He didn’t let his attraction to women overpower his self-controlled, pure mind.

So, when we fail at keeping this commandment, Jesus succeeds. He never sinned. And he was as red-blooded a man as anyone of us here. Don’t let anyone sell you the false namby-pamby version of Jesus who is basically asexual. Jesus was a man. He had normal, male desires. But he did not let his mind wander. He did not let his eyes go where they should not go. He did not see women as sex objects. And he never fell into sexual sin. In my mind, he’s more of a man than I am. In fact, he’s the True Man – the one who reflects God’s image perfectly.

For that, I am grateful. When I mess up, Jesus succeeds. And his death covers over my sin. His faithfulness to the covenant replaces my spiritual adultery.

written by Trevin Wax  © 2007 Kingdom People blog