In my over zealousness to become ‘devout’, I innocently asked Jesus to help me love Him as He loves me (which is impossible). I arrogantly thought He would help me become a pious and holy individual.

Boy was I wrong.

Instead He ‘hid His face from me’. (Psalm 27:1, 44:24, 69:17, 88:14, 102:2) He took away all consolation and joy I received during prayer and inspirational reading. I knew He was there, but I know longer ‘felt’ His prescence. Its hard to put into words but I felt abandoned and unloved. It was nearly impossible to pray, but I prayed more than I ever did before, begging for Him.

I was forced to ask myself “Do I love Jesus for His gifts or do I love Him for who He is- my saviour and my champion? Would I love Him if He took everything away?

He cerainlly knew exactly how to humble me!