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In the United States, our lives are fast and busy. Big is better. Time is money.

In Romania, the mindset is very different, especially in the villages. The pace is slow and relaxed.

At first, this lack of intensity bothered me. I wanted to get things done fast, to get to my destination quickly, to finish all that I had on my agenda.

But soon, I was taken in by the relaxed, ambling lifestyle of the Romanian countryside. I found myself preferring to walk somewhere, even if it took more time than catching a cab. A walk was an opportunity to talk with friends and enjoy the company of others. The slowness of the world became something to enjoy, not something to speed up.

We are over-entertained in America. People plan their time together around vacations, sight-seeing, special events, concerts, movies, and TV shows. None of these activities are inherently bad, of course.

But isn’t it true that these activities can sometimes take away from the simplicity and joy of just spending time with people? Do you ever stop to think: Why do we have to always be on the run? Why not devote several hours to friends at home, even if you’re not playing a game, watching TV, or heading out to eat?

Often, when the village teenagers would come to visit me in the city, we would take long walks through the streets, talking and laughing and enjoying friendship. We could’ve taken a tram or a taxi so as to get where we wanted quickly. But what would’ve been the purpose? There was no TV to watch, no program to catch, nothing that had to be done in the next five minutes. So why not walk? Why not enjoy the fresh Spring air? Why not talk on the way there?

I fear that we have become dependent upon entertainment and constant activity. This dependence (now made even more possible by technology) enslaves us to doing whatever seems fun for the moment. Meanwhile, we miss out on relationships that will last for a lifetime.

Not long after I moved to Romania, I began noticing that many of my Romanian friendships seemed so much deeper than my American friendships. Why? The Romanian friendships were built on quality time, good conversation and honesty, whereas many of my American friendships were built on activities, hopping from one fun thing to the next, with very little time for quality conversation.

There is an upside to keeping people at an arm’s length. When relationships are simple, you don’t have to take risks. If a deep friendship turns sour, you might experience some hurt. For me, the risk is worth it. There is nothing better than experiencing the fruitful friendships that God has created his people for.

written by Trevin Wax  © 2008 Kingdom People blog

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