A couple of weeks ago, my youngest brother, Weston, broke his right leg during a soccer game. It was horrible. He spent eight nights in the hospital and underwent four surgeries.

I arrived at the hospital shortly after he was admitted to the emergency room. The pain was so intense that Weston didn’t open his eyes while I was there. But we were able to talk. He was sweating and shaking. Even with medication, the pain was unbearable.

When the doctors came in to do the X-ray, we stepped outside the room. They had to move his leg into several positions in order to capture the images. For several minutes, we heard Weston screaming out in pain.

Moments later, when we walked back into his room, Weston was still shaking from the pain. But now, he was singing the Doxology: “Praise God from whom all blessings flow.” Later on, he sang Blessed Be Your Name: 

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name.

I’ve always sought to be a good example for my younger brother. But in this situation, he was the one teaching me.

In that brief moment, I caught a glimpse of the inexplicable power of joy in the midst of pain and sorrow. Weston confessed his trust in God’s work in his life, even when the pain was intense. He said he knew that every trial we go through is “Father-filtered,” meaning that nothing takes God by surprise. Every tribulation that comes our way is permitted by the God who holds our future in His hand.

Get Ready for Suffering Before It Arrives

As I watched Weston suffer in a way that brings glory to God, I was reminded of how important it is for Christians to prepare for the storms of life before they arrive.

Preachers like to say that people are in one of three stages:

1. About to encounter suffering
2. Going through suffering
3. Coming out of suffering

If this is true, then we should prepare people for all three stages. Why? Because suffering well is one of the best ways we witness to our faith and joy in the Lord.

Good Examples of Suffering

A couple of years ago, Corina and I watched the Matt Chandler video curriculum on Philippians – To Live is Christ & to Die is Gain. In one of the lessons, Matt explained the power of joy in the midst of suffering.

While we were watching the DVD, we realized that, at the time of filming, Matt already had the brain tumor that would cause his seizure on the next Thanksgiving morning. He was already sick; he just didn’t know it yet. As Matt was equipping us to encounter suffering, God was equipping him. 

Last year, we watched the steady degeneration of my father-in-law as cancer laid waste to his body. During the trial, visitors often commented on was the way he prayed: Father, I thank you for the portion of health you’ve given me today. Before asking God to heal him, he would express gratitude for whatever health he had left.

In the last 24 hours as we sat next to his bedside, my father-in-law’s prayers became short and labored: My Father… My Father… My Father… with every breath. He was prepared for suffering, which in turn prepared him for glory. And we saw glory in his suffering.

The Suffering Class

No one wants to take the Suffering Class. We steer clear of studying about this subject. We don’t want that course checked off our list. We start thinking, If I’m prepared for suffering, God is going to send a portion my way! Better to ignore it and deal with it when it comes, right? 

Wrong.

Take the suffering class. Study what the Bible says about suffering. Don’t neglect Job, the psalms, or the words of the Apostle Peter.

Let’s prepare for suffering so we can be a powerful testimony to the grace and goodness of God in the midst of pain.

I did too much in 2012.

Taking stock of my schedule and activities last year, I’ve come to the conclusion I overextended myself. It wasn’t one specific commitment that was out-of-bounds, but the combination of things I took on. I assumed these activities would demand less time and attention than they did.

From the launch of The Gospel Project, to my Ph.D work, writing two books, blogging daily, and juggling speaking engagements (not to mention the time I need with family), last year left me feeling overwhelmed and at the brink of exhaustion.

In 2013, I scaled back speaking engagements and “extracurricular” stuff. And I’m already feeling the difference.

Avoid the Drain

Busyness drains you of creative potential and saps the energy you need for ministry. We all need boundaries. And we tend to be more effective when we focus on doing fewer things well.

Here are a few practices I’m implementing in 2013 as I seek to be a better steward of my time and health. I’m not an expert on this by any stretch, but these practices have been helpful.

1. Consider Input, Not Just Output

With the arrival of smart phones, we are never really “off.” Our work continues long after we leave the office. The information deluge threatens to wipe out any time for reflection.

If you’re going to maximize your effectiveness as a writer or preacher, you ought to be purposeful about what info is coming at you. Don’t let the internet determine what you put in your mind. Read, study, and browse strategically. 

2. Beware of the Ping

In  The Accidental Creative, Todd Henry warns against the Ping:

The Ping is that little sensation that occasionally prompts me to check my e-mail or my social media accounts. It’s the impulse to mindlessly surf news sites instead of doing something productive. And as my number of options grew (turns out there is an app for that), the pull of the Ping became ever more powerful. The Ping wants to be my master. It wants to own me.

Here’s what happens when you let the Ping have control:

It’s more and more difficult for me to be fully in one place, to focus on what’s in front of me. I’m losing the capacity to think deeply about whatever I’m experiencing because I tend to gravitate to whatever feeds the Ping.

I’m not advising you to get rid of technology. But surely we can set parameters at home and at work as to how much we’ll allow ourselves to be driven by instant email, texts, tweets, and Facebook messages.

You don’t need your iPhone at the dinner table. You really don’t.

3. Recognize the exponential increase of energy needed for new tasks.

It’s the “little things” that add up. I learned this the hard way. Even the short amount of time needed for certain responsibilities can create a disproportionate drain on your energy.

When an opportunity or a request comes your way, never examine it by itself. Always look at it in light of all your other responsibilities. Every commitment you make affects the other commitments you make.

4. Consider the Trade Off

Every commitment costs something. Are you willing to make the trade?

One of the things I do not regret about 2012 was prioritizing my son’s soccer games. I’ve never heard a father later in life say, “I wish I hadn’t been so present for my kids.”

I was recently invited to do a series of lectures at a Bible college. I hated to turn down the opportunity because of my love for teaching and interacting with students. But looking at my calendar, I quickly realized that I would have to give up significant time to prepare. Not to mention the time away from family during the summer. It wasn’t worth the trade. Maybe next time.

5. Work way out in advance.

The best way to maintain the mental energy for your job or in your ministry is to take the long view. Work ahead of time.

Procrastination is a creativity-killer. While you may work well under pressure of time constraints, you won’t be able to consistently offer your best work if you proceed this way.

The benefit of working in advance is letting stuff simmer on the “back burner.” You become more alert to ideas and stories to incorporate into your sermon, potential blog posts, etc.

What about you?

What are some ways you maintain productivity in the midst of a busy schedule?

The picture to the right was taken seven years ago this month.

Yes, that’s me along with a co-worker at Cracker Barrel. One of the managers put us in front of the fireplace and snapped a photo. Next thing we knew we were plastered all over Louisville as a recruitment tool to get more people applying for jobs at the restaurant Ed Stetzer calls – “a garage sale with food.” (And please, no cracks about violating child labor laws.)

I keep this “free job digest” in my office today. I’ve lived in multiple towns and worked in multiple places since then, but I can’t part with it. The picture takes me back to a tough 18-month period in which I was adjusting to being a former missionary and trying to survive seminary. It’s a reminder of the Lord’s faithfulness to us during a difficult, sometimes frustrating, season of life.

I never wanted to work at Cracker Barrel. I had business experience as an office manager, plus five years of international missions experience tucked under my belt.

But none of that mattered when the most pressing question was, How will you provide for your wife and son this week? Like many before and after me, I did whatever was necessary.

Some of you are in similar circumstances. Perhaps you’re no longer in ministry due to a bad church experience or budget cuts. Maybe you’re in seminary and just trying to get through your classes and stay financially afloat. Or perhaps you sense a call to full-time ministry in a church but the right doors haven’t opened yet. Whatever your situation, you’re doing whatever it takes to make ends meet, yearning for the day you can use your gifts full-time.

Let me encourage you. There are hidden blessings in unwelcome work, but you’ll have to remember a few things in order to receive them.

1. Remember that God has a plan, and He is still at work.

God’s plan wasn’t mine, and nothing reminded me of that truth more than encountering situations I didn’t anticipate and didn’t ask for. The work didn’t fit my vision of what I should be doing to use my gifts. But then again, God’s vision was different from mine. It’s different from yours.

I wonder if the only way Moses could learn the humility he was later known for was by milking sheep for forty years. Ever tried that? If you think milking a cow is hard…

God doesn’t love you for what you can do for Him. He loves you because you’re His child.

God’s promise to us isn’t that we’ll spend a lifetime of ministry on the mountaintop. The promise is that we’ll be made into the image of Jesus. Trouble is, there are a lot of valleys on the road to becoming like Jesus. So trust that He has a plan – not just for your foundation in ministry but for your formation as a minister.

2. Focus on your identity as a missionary, no matter what.

It’s silly to think that we have to be paid as a full-time staff person in order to be on mission. I had to learn this the hard way. After having spent a few years doing mission work overseas, I expected to find a job in a church fairly quickly. That didn’t happen.

Within a few months I went from having an ongoing ministry in several churches and a radio ministry in Romania to sweeping floors, taking orders, and cleaning salad dressing stains off the cabinets. I used to be a missionary, I thought.

Thankfully, there were other seminary and college students who worked at Cracker Barrel. Through them, God reminded me that I was still on mission.

From conversations in the break room to witnessing encounters with other employees, God reminded me: you are always My missionary. The same is true for you. The locale may have changed, and the tasks may be different, but you are still on mission.

3. Get used to serving when it’s hard and you’re heart’s not in it.

Looking back, waiting tables was one of the best ways God prepared me for local church ministry. I learned truths you don’t find in a seminary textbook.

Cracker Barrel doesn’t call their employees waiters and waitresses. We were “servers.” Maybe that was a way of keeping the term gender neutral, but I think it was intended to affect our mindset. We were supposed to view ourselves as servants.

There were many nights when that dimly lit restaurant was the last place I wanted to be. But through the experience, I’d pray, ask God to fix my attitude, and then I’d try to treat every guest – no matter how ornery, picky, or insufferable – like I’d want to be treated. I couldn’t make everyone happy, but I could do my best to serve.

Church life is sometimes the same way. You don’t always have a heart full of love for the people entrusted to your care. You need the practice of asking God to jumpstart the wires of your heart so that you’ll love with His love and serve with His heart.

4. Remember this is only for a season.

Perhaps the best thing to remember is that you will probably not spend the rest of your life in this “in-between” stage. Keep reading, keep serving, keep evangelizing, keep providing… knowing that the season won’t last forever.

Glean what you can from the difficult times, because the truths you learn in the valleys keep your feet steady on the mountaintops. There is a time for everything – even unwelcome work. Look for the hidden blessings.

It’s been a few weeks now since we buried my father-in-law.

Though we’ve always felt the geographical distance between our family and my in-laws, it doesn’t compare to the distance that death creates. For years he was far away. But now he’s no longer within reach. And that’s what hurts so bad.

Grief is a funny thing. The sadness comes in waves, sometimes gently lapping at your feet throughout the day… other times, hitting you like a tsunami – a wall of water that crashes into your heart and leaves its mark in a tear-stained face.

In reflecting on our time of loss, I suppose what surprises me most about the whole thing is that death still surprises.

Strange, isn’t it? Aside from the one Man death couldn’t hold onto, everyone who is born dies. It’s that simple. And yet, we’re still shocked, surprised, and baffled when the moment arrives.

In the hours before Corina’s dad died, we knew his time was short. We could see the signs of imminent death approaching – the stiffening of the legs, the cooling of his hands, and the rattling of his breath. Death is an ugly thing, especially when it comes after a disease like cancer has ravaged the body.

Though we knew the end was near, when death arrived and my father-in-law departed, it still came as something of a surprise. Is it true? Is he really gone? How can this be? Just moments ago, we were shifting him around in his bed, hoping to alleviate any pain. Now, we are preparing him for the coroner. In a flash… death is in the room and life has disappeared.

No matter how much you prepare yourself, death still surprises.

Forget the worn-out maxim that “death is just a natural part of life.” Why try to suppress the surprise? Especially when everything in you screams, This isn’t right! This can’t be!

You’d think after thousands of years of observation, we’d be accustomed to death by now. But no… the love in our hearts doesn’t want to give death the last word.

Thankfully, we don’t have to.

The only thing more surprising than death is resurrection. It’s the future surprise that helps our hearts survive the present shock. The gaping hole in the ground that swallows up a body will one day be swallowed up by resurrection life.

Death’s victory is short-lived. Resurrection’s reign is forever.

And so, we grieve, but not as those with no hope. Winter’s chill may surprise us, but spring is coming.

Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints. (Psalm 116:15)

On Monday, I wrote about the need to lean on the Lord for wisdom during difficult times. Today, I’d like to pick up where we left off and describe the passing of my father-in-law.

The Final Days

Corina arrived in Romania on Saturday afternoon (January 26). The joy of her reunion with her family was sweet. Using FaceTime on our phones, we were able to stay in constant communication. Whenever I talked to her and her family, I could see how much it meant to her father to have her home again.

Florin Trifan was never one to beat around the bush. When he found out Corina was on her way, he said, “She knows why she’s coming.” He knew he was dying – that it wouldn’t be long before he’d see the Lord. There was no tiptoeing around the truth.

When Corina arrived, the two of them had time for good discussion Saturday afternoon and evening. Her father took a few steps with his walker, but was unable to muster up the strength to do much more. On Saturday night, for the first time in months, he slept well.

On Sunday, I was still in the States with the kids. When Corina’s dad found out I would be preaching that morning, he insisted on having a time of prayer with Corina for me. Whenever he knew I was preaching, he would tell me, “You preach, I pray!”

At this point, we had a general idea of our plans. If my father-in-law passed, I would immediately get tickets for me and the kids to join the rest of the family in Romania for the funeral. The next day, all of that changed.

Sudden Trip to Romania

On Tuesday morning, Corina told me that her dad had taken a turn for the worse. His pain was increasing, and he hadn’t eaten anything since Monday. His hands and feet were swollen, and his voice was weaker.

We threw all our plans out the window. I knew deep down that Corina needed me, and so I bought the fastest ticket to Romania I could find. My parents agreed to take care of our kids. Within five hours, I had packed a carry-on bag and was on a plane headed to Newark, Zurich, and then Budapest.

On Wednesday evening in Romania, I arrived at my in-laws’ apartment. My father-in-law had lost so much weight that he barely resembled  the robust man he had been just a few years ago. With his sister-in-law and his wife holding him up, as he sat up in the bed, I kneeled in front of him and began to talk. Once he realized it was me, all he could say was, It can’t be true. 

That night, I sat next to my father-in-law as he lay in bed, and I read the Scriptures to him. I began with Romans 8. Though he was too weak to carry on a conversation, he was lucid enough to remember the words, and I could see his lips moving along with me as I read. He knew the chapter by heart. The only time he spoke was at verse 15: For you did not receive the spirit of slavery again to fear, but you have received the spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry… and before I could continue, he said out loud: Abba! Father! 

After reading Scripture with him, my father-in-law wanted to pray. He called the rest of the family into the room. With his two sons on both sides holding him up, he sat up in bed and we had a time of prayer together in which he blessed me and Corina and our family.

The Final Hours

Wednesday night and Thursday morning were terrible. The pain had increased to the point that my father-in-law was crying out with every breath. Whenever he spoke, he cried, Oh my Father… Sweet Jesus. We couldn’t do anything to ease his suffering, and the feeling of helplessness gripped everyone in the house.

After lunch, the nurse from hospice arrived and administered a small dose of morphine. My father-in-law’s pain gradually subsided, and he entered a semi-comatose state during the afternoon hours.

Not wanting to leave him alone in the room, I sat next to him and read a number of Scripture passages to him out loud. I chose certain psalms, Revelation 21, 2 Timothy 4, John 14, and 1 Corinthians 15. After the first reading, he quietly said, “Amen.” After the second, he was no longer responsive. Sensing he was still conscious, only unable to speak, I continued to read.

The Passing

Around 5:30 that evening, a close pastor friend of the family, Cornel Iova, arrived for a visit. He saw that my father-in-law’s state was worsening, and he encouraged us to gather around him in the room. We sang a couple of old hymns (“Suna Harfa Laudei Mele” – one of my father-in-law’s favorites), and then had a time of prayer.

Just before 6:00, as the sun was setting, we sang another hymn about heaven:

In ziua de apoi, cand vor fi toti chemati, 
Cand cei sfinti intalnesc pe Domnul lor,
Cand strainul v-ajunge in patria sa,
Lauda Domnului vom fi acolo.

The last verse included a line about Christ Jesus calling the saint to come be with the Lord.

By the time we’d ended the verse, we noticed that my father-in-law’s heavy breathing had subsided. His windpipe moved up and down a couple more times, indicating shallow breaths.

Bro. Cornel leaned over and took him by the hand and said, “Florin, you can hear us, can’t you? If you can, squeeze my hand.” Instead, my father-in-law opened his eyes wide. Cornel then replied, “We are all here,” and he listed off the names of every one of us gathered around his bed: Corina’s mom, brothers, Corina and me. And then, without sound or struggle, he closed his eyes and stopped breathing.

Like a candle being blown out, he was gone.

Afterwards

There were many tears in that room that night. We had another time of prayer of thanksgiving with the pastor, and then gently prepared my father-in-law’s body as we waited for the coroner to arrive and for the morgue to come and take his remains.

My father-in-law's Bible and his last sermon notes.

But in the midst of our sorrow, there was something so sweet, so precious about the whole scene. The moment of transcendence when a person departs to be with the Lord… it is something I will never forget. Corina’s father died the way he lived – with a prayer and a song on his lips.

On Friday evening, hundreds of people were present for a church service mourning the loss of Florin Trifan. On Saturday, hundreds more packed the chapel in the cemetery as we laid his body to rest. On Sunday, I preached a sermon he had begun but had been unable to complete.

Now, as Corina and I return to the States, we grieve. We will continue to grieve. But we take great comfort in the life he lived and the death he died, and the hope of resurrection we have because of the gospel.

With the whirlwind of activity in the past few days, I’ve not been able to answer many emails or write blog posts. Today is the first day things have slowed down enough for me to take a few minutes to write.

First, let me say how grateful I am for the prayers and words of encouragement we’ve received during these difficult days of trial. It is a blessing to know there are people on both sides of the Atlantic praying for us.

One thing I have learned is this: people in difficult circumstances need prayer for wisdom as much as prayer for anything else. When a loved one enters the final stages of a prolonged illness, the family is confronted with a host of decisions related to treatment, travel, and other arrangements. The need for wisdom and discernment in making plans is vitally important.

From this point on, when I pray for others who are going through difficult times, I will make sure to pray for wisdom as much as I pray for the usual things (peace, joy, etc.).

Cancer and the Steady Decline

Corina’s father, Florin Trifan (read about his testimony here), had an operation three years ago to remove a tumor that had appeared on his larynx. After the operation, the analysis showed the tumor to be malignant. As he began receiving treatment for the cancer, Corina and our daughter, Julia, spent several weeks with him in the spring of 2010.

Though the treatment was difficult and the trial was painful, my father-in-law beat cancer that year. He received a good report at the end of 2010 and the beginning of 2011. By the end of 2011, he was beginning to regain his strength to the point he considered making a trip to the States to visit our family.

In early 2012, the cancer came back. The doctors were convinced they’d caught it early, and we hoped this would only be a temporary setback. Instead, my father-in-law’s health declined during 2012. Every day, when we talked with him on Skype, we could see how the treatment was affecting him. He was losing weight and strength as each month passed.

In September, the treatments for his cancer were complete. But my father-in-law’s health did not improve. In early November, he attended his last church service, and from that point on, he was homebound.

Making Tough Decisions

During the time of my father-in-law’s illness, Corina and I were never sure what was the best course of action. It was difficult to be so far away from family during a difficult trial. Her family discouraged her from coming, worried that if she were to visit, her father would not deal well with her parting to go back home (which is understandable, considering the fragility of his health).

By December, the situation had worsened to the point we wondered if we would be able to spend time with him before he died. Not knowing what to do, we made provisional plans and mapped out possible scenarios.

- If the family gives us the green light, should Corina and I go with the kids?

- Should Corina go by herself?

- Should the two of us go together and leave the kids at home, and then bring them later to the funeral?

The difficulty in making these decisions was magnified by a troubled pregnancy. Corina and I had a miscarriage last year. This new pregnancy also showed signs of trouble during the early months. The doctors did not recommend or forbid overseas travel, but this was certainly a factor in our decision-making.

Feeling Our Way Through

For a time, our plan was to go to Romania as a family for my father-in-law’s funeral. This plan quickly changed, however, when – on Thursday, January 24th – Corina’s mom said, “The situation is worse. If you want to come, please come.”

That was all I needed to hear to spring into action. I bought a ticket for Corina to fly out from Nashville the next day to Romania. She would arrive within 48 hours. I selected a return date of Tuesday, February 5, not knowing whether or not this would be enough time.

Our plan at this point was for Corina to be with her father in his last days, and then for me to fly to Romania with the kids once he passed. We thought it would bring joy to her family for our kids to be present.

That plan changed too.

By Tuesday morning, as I was talking to Corina, I sensed the worsening of the situation and felt deep down that I needed to be with her, even if it meant leaving the kids at home. Though the kids weren’t very happy about the change of plans, I bought the fastest ticket to Romania I could find. I left within five hours.

I’ll give a few more details about my father-in-law’s passing in a later post. For now, all I can say is that the most important need we had during this time was wisdom. As you will see in the later posts about what took place, we made the right call. Had we not taken action and been willing to change plans quickly, things would have turned out differently.

We also realized that the idea of bringing the kids, while well-intentioned, was not realistic. Again, God’s wisdom prevailed.

Being present at the passing of my father-in-law is one of the most incredible things I’ve ever experienced. More on that later…

Today, I am traveling to Romania to be with my father-in-law who is in his final hours after battling cancer for the past three years. He is 63.

Corina left on Friday, and I left yesterday to be with her and her family during this difficult time. (Our kids are staying with their grandparents back home in the U.S.) I don’t know what my schedule will be like in the next few days, so posting will be sporadic.

Until his health declined to the point he could no longer serve, my father-in-law was the pastor of two village churches. In Holy Subversion, I briefly recount his conversion story. Bro. Trifan was a Communist party member in Ceausescu’s Romania back in the 1970-s. Sent to spy on a Baptist revival meeting, he heard the gospel and trusted Christ. He then abandoned Communist ideology and eventually became a pastor.

In 2007 and 2008, we were fortunate to have Corina’s parents visit us here in the U.S. The videos below (part 1 & part 2) are of Bro. Trifan giving his testimony (I’m the translator). The last video is from one of his last sermons.

Thank you for praying for us as we part ways (for a time) with a great man.

For a few years now, I’ve been beating the drum about the need for artistic, beautiful portrayals of truth. We need to draw out the inherent beauty of truth whenever we proclaim it, whether it’s in our sermons, our non-fiction books, or blog posts.

Likewise, I’ve expressed concern about those of us in conservative Christian circles who tend to pick apart works of art without offering something better. We can write 50-page criticisms of The Shack, but we can’t come up with a better story. We grasp the issues, but others grasp the medium. The same is true of movies, music, spoken word videos, and other forms of art.

Late last year, a sense of dissatisfaction stirred up in me. I wondered if perhaps I was doing the very thing I despise: critiquing without creating. Only this time, I was critiquing the other critics.

So, I began to pray about writing a fictional story, something that would put forward traditional Christian theology within a compelling narrative.

Back to Fiction

I quickly discovered my story-telling skills were dormant. The last piece of fiction I had written was a Narnia-like drama for a student ministry in 2004. As a kid, I loved to write stories. But somewhere along the way, I switched to non-fiction, started blogging, and aside from a parable here and there, I stayed firmly in the non-fiction camp.

But my love for reading fiction never went away. Neither did my desire to create good fiction of my own.

In early 2012, I got to work on a fiction proposal. I developed a story centered on two characters who would dialogue about matters of life and faith. I wrote a third of the book during the winter months and then finished a full draft by late spring.

Looking for a Publisher

Next, it was time to see if there was any merit to the proposal. That meant looking for a publisher.

Shopping a fiction manuscript turned out to be the most nerve-wracking experience of my writing life so far. In the case of my other books, the publishers approached me. This time, I was knocking on the door with something outside the box, something I’d not tried or succeeded at before.

Never had I felt so vulnerable about work I was doing. An artist often goes back and forth between thinking his or her creation is beautiful or bad. I leaned to the “bad” side in my thinking, a lot. I didn’t have confidence that this was going to go anywhere. Maybe I’d just written a book that would sit on my digital shelf for the rest of my life.

Then again, I took comfort in knowing that, regardless of the outcome, I could one day look back and say, “At least I gave it a shot!” As Chesterton said, “Anything worth doing is worth doing badly.” And surely Calvin Miller was right: “We should not wait until we are sure of our art, or we will never use it to praise God at all. ”

Thankfully, four publishers saw the potential of the book and offered to publish it. I was surprised (and relieved).

Where I Am Now

This month, the book is in the final stages of editing. I asked the publisher to put accomplished fiction and non-fiction editors on this work, to help me enhance the book’s appeal, its reasoning, and its narrative flow. It’s been neat to see the book get better at each stage in the process.

In the next few months, I’ll write more about this book and my hopes for it. I’ll also blog about some of the things I’ve learned along the way. In the meantime, I’d appreciate your prayers as I finish it up.

Corina and I were married on a snowy day in Oradea, Romania. La multi ani, iubito!

I’m sure I’m just one of the many parents who hugged their kids a little closer on Friday night after hearing about the horror at an elementary school in Connecticut. Perhaps this horrible tragedy will serve as a reminder to cherish the time we have with our children.

During the holiday season, we’re tempted to spend too much time on our iPhones, on the computer, or watching television. Following our example, our kids isolate themselves too. We’re together physically, but no one is having fun. No wonder by New Year’s everyone is ready to get back into the normal routine.

Can I challenge you, parents? Don’t let this holiday season go by without spending time just having fun with your kids. No agenda. Just fun.

My friend, Zach Nielsen, sees in a parent playing with their kids a picture of the gospel. He writes:

I am continually reminded how much our kids need our undivided attention, on their terms, and not ours.  This communicates volumes in terms of humble service which is the essence of the Gospel.

You want your kids to understand the Gospel?  Get on the floor and play with them.  Then when you speak of God coming down and condescending to our weakness they’ll have a picture of loving service to equate it to.

Likewise, Michael Kelley writes about the surprising side effect of playing with your kids:

Who would have ever thought that the main way to mortify my flesh today was playing with my kids?

I play with my kids, and hopefully then have a small notion of the great willingness and desire of God to be with His people. And as for me, playing with them – really playing with them – is another means by which God uses to pry my white-knuckled fingers off my idol of self.

So, dads, can I encourage you with this today? Play with your kids – not only for their sake, but also for yours.

Here are some creative options for playing with your kids this holiday season:

1. Instead of watching a movie, create your own movie story.

In five minutes, organize the toys with your child. Pick out two or three main characters. Always have a superhero waiting in the wings. Use a toy house, a toy jungle, or some lego castle as a backdrop for the action. Have a plane, a rocket, or some mode of transportation. If you need a flood, have blue sheets nearby. Just look at what you’ve got and get ready for a Story. You don’t have to plan the whole story out.

Then, create an iTunes playlist with movie music that you can play in the background. Here’s our favorite five-song playlist for a twenty-minute story:

1. “The Wardrobe” – from The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe.
2. “Prince Caspian Flees” – from Prince Caspian
3. “The Aslan’s Camp” – from The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe
4. “Battle at Aslan’s How” – from Prince Caspian
5. “Return of the Lion” – from Prince Caspian

The more you use the same playlist, the more familiar you will be with the music. You can anticipate the musical cues, and begin to play with the toys accordingly.

Some of the music is mysterious and filled with wonder. Other parts sound suspenseful and would make good background music to a thrilling chase or battle. The beginning of “Aslan’s Camp” right after “Prince Caspian Flees” is perfect for a stunning entrance from a super-hero to save the day.

My son and I have made these playlists from more than a dozen movies. The music makes the playing much more exciting, and it gives you a creative way of adding drama to the story. Try it. It’s fun.

2. Instead of playing Mario, let your child be Mario.

Set up an obstacle course in your living room. Tell your child the carpet is fire that he can’t touch. Take washcloths and place them in strategic places until there is a path of stones that the child has to jump on as he makes his way through the course. (Ask Mom first, of course.)

Lob plastic balls at him as if they were fire balls keeping him from getting to the end. At the end, give him three pillows, and be the big Bowser that is trying to stop him. He has to hit you three times. You have ammo (pillows) to throw at him too. It’s fun to do this on the sidewalk too, using chalk to create an obstacle course.

3. Build a fort around the couch and chairs in the living room.

Find the best sheets, towels, and pillows you can. Transform your sofa and chairs into a cave. Spend some time underneath the sheets with a flashlight telling ghost stories.

4. Play Hide-and-Go-Seek.

I’m not going to give away my favorite hiding spots in our house, because my son Timothy could stumble upon this blog and discover where they are! I recommend two variations of this game.

In the classic version, more than one person hides at a time. Those hiding can run back to “base” before getting caught.

If you are worried about too much running in the house, you can use the second option – “Sardines.” One person hides and everyone else is on the search team.Whenever someone finds the person hiding, they hide with them and remain quiet. The last person to find the growing number of kids crammed into a closet or hiding behind the couch becomes “it” for the next round.

5. Play Card Games.

Our favorites? In no particular order:

• Speed
• Hearts
• Monopoly Deal
• Uno
• I Spy Snap

HONORABLE MENTIONS

- Play Board Games.

Some of our favorites:

• Stratego
• Battleship
• The Settlers of Catan (3 or more player)
• Catan Card Game (2 player)

- Have a Tea Party

Nothing wins a little girl’s heart like a pretend tea party with dear old Dad. Especially if the tea cups have pictures of Disney princesses on them. If you make some real tea afterwards and let her have some with you, she’ll be even happier.

- Falling Off the Boat

Place pillows and bed sheets all around the biggest bed in the house. Then climb on the mattress with your kids and pretend the bed is a big boat. If you want to make it exciting, pretend there are alligators trying to drag you off the bed. The real fun starts when you’re sliding off the bed and grabbing onto your kids’ feet and arms as they try to keep you on board. Next switch places and try to save them as they slide off. Simple, I know. But oh so fun!

What about you?

Let me know some of the ways you play with your kids, and we’ll add them to our list this Christmas!