In Holy Subversion, I briefly recount the conversion story of my father-in-law, Florin Trifan. Bro. Trifan was a Communist party member in Ceausescu’s Romania back in the 1970′s. Sent to spy on a Baptist revival meeting, he heard the gospel and trusted Christ. He then abandoned Communist ideology and eventually became a pastor.
In 2007, we were fortunate to have Corina’s parents visit us here in the U.S. The videos below (part 1 & part 2) are of Bro. Trifan giving his testimony at our church (I’m the translator). I encourage you to listen to his story.
Bro. Trifan is currently battling throat cancer. He has been through an operation, three rounds of chemotherapy, and he will start radiations in the next few weeks. Please pray for him and for our family during this difficult trial.
Those of you who follow me on Twitter may already know that my wife’s father has been diagnosed with cancer. His situation is serious, and he will begin radiation treatment this week. Corina and our 21-month-0ld daughter Julia left for Romania yesterday to spend a couple weeks with her family. Timothy and I are sticking it out at home for now.
We’ve always known that we could wind up with ailing parents in the U.S. while we are in Romania or with ailing parents in Romania while we are in the States. People with international marriages face this kind of trial often.
What we didn’t expect was for Corina’s dad to get a bad diagnosis so soon. He’s only 60 and has been in good health all his life.
Reflecting on the difficulties of this present moment for us, I am beginning to see trials as “fiery windows.”
Why windows? Because they reveal to us the faith we have (or too often, our lack of faith!).
Why fiery? Because they not only reveal our faith, but they refineour faith as well.
So I’m up against a windowsill that’s burning, and this is what I see:
I see that we have too often assumed that we are in control. We think we are in charge, and it shows in the way we make decisions and map out our future.
I see that we take for granted our health and relationships. We’ve always thought that since there’s longevity in our genes, we wouldn’t have to worry about death snatching a loved one for at least another couple of decades. But God is in charge of our future, not our genes.
I see that our prayer life is not what it should be. We pray, but too often without a sense of holy desperation.
I see that we desperately need God’s wisdom in making good choices.
Here’s a sampling of some of the tough questions we’ve wrestled with and for which we needed wisdom:
Do we try to bring Corina’s father here, hoping he might have better medical care?
If he comes here and takes a turn for the worst, how do we get him back home? Would he want to end his life away from home and from his friends and family?
If our whole family goes to Romania, what would that communicate? Would he assume that our visit means his situation is so grave that it’s not worth fighting for life?
Should Corina go now, while he is still relatively strong? Or wait until he’s worse and go later?
There are no easy answers. There are no quick solutions. What’s needed in a case like this is not the discovery of what is right or wrong, but the need for God-given wisdom to make the best choice out of a number of options.
I see the beauty of God’s people. Last Saturday, Corina and I were in tears most of the day at the thought of her being away for two weeks. But we spent time with my family on Saturday night and then with our church family on Sunday. We came away feeling refreshed, renewed, supported, and strengthened by God’s people. We’ve already received cards and gifts. A number of ladies in the church want to bring me and Timothy food while Corina is away. It has been wonderful to sense the arms of God around us through the actual arms of people in our congregation.
This trial has been fiery, and it is only beginning. But through this time, Corina and I have begun to sense our need for renewed dependence upon the Lord. We are in God’s hands. “We’re all terminal,” as my mother would say.
My father-in-law has been an example of faith. He believes God can heal him. He believes in God even if he stays sick. “If God wants me home, no doctor can keep me here. If God wants me here, no disease can overtake me.”
Our biggest prayer through all of this is that we will come out the other side looking more like Jesus. It hurts. We ache. We worry. We cry. But the arms of God are strong, and that’s what keeps us going.
I miss the sounds of children playing outside in the neighborhood. There are many kids in our neighborhood, but few venture outside to play anymore. I suspect a good number are indoors playing video games or watching movies.
Give your kids access to non-stop entertainment, and you might begin to miss the sounds of children playing inside the house too.
Sure, it may be easier to let them play the DS all day long (our son thinks “DS” stands for “Dumb” and “Stupid”, since that’s what playing it too much will make you). But don’t you want to play with your kids?
Here are three creative ways that we play with our kids, and I hope these suggestions might lead to some further creativity. (If you have some ideas, leave them in the comments section. We love new games!)
1. Instead of watching a movie, create your own movie story.
Here’s what you do. In five minutes, organize the toys with your child. Pick out two or three main characters. Always have a superhero waiting in the wings. Use a toy house, a toy jungle, or some lego castle as a backdrop for the action. Have a plane, a rocket, or some mode of transportation. If you need a flood, have blue sheets nearby. Just look at what you’ve got and get ready for a Story. You don’t have to plan the whole story out.
Then, create an iTunes playlist with movie music that you can play in the background. Here’s our favorite five-song playlist for a twenty-minute story:
“The Wardrobe” – from The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe.
“Prince Caspian Flees” – from Prince Caspian
“The Aslan’s Camp” – from The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe
“Battle at Aslan’s How” – from Prince Caspian
“Return of the Lion” – from Prince Caspian
The more you use the same playlist, the more familiar you will be with the music. You can anticipate the musical cues, and begin to play with the toys accordingly.
Some of the music is mysterious and filled with wonder. Other parts sound suspenseful and would make good background music to a thrilling chase or battle. The beginning of “Aslan’s Camp” right after “Prince Caspian Flees” is perfect for a stunning entrance from a super-hero to save the day.
We’ve made these playlists from more than a dozen movies. The music makes the playing much more exciting, and it gives you a creative way of adding drama to the story. Try it. It’s fun.
2. Instead of playing Mario, let your son be Mario.
Set up an obstacle course in your living room. Tell your child the carpet is fire that he can’t touch. Take washcloths and place them in strategic places until there is a path of stones that the child has to jump on as he makes his way through the course. (Ask Mom first, of course.)
Lob plastic balls at him as if they were fire balls keeping him from getting to the end. At the end, give him three pillows, and be the big Bowser that is trying to stop him. He has to hit you three times. You have ammo (pillows) to throw at him too. It’s fun to do this on the sidewalk too, using chalk to create an obstacle course.
3. See who can find Waldo and his friends the fastest.
For Christmas, we got Timothy the six-pack set of Where’s Waldo?books. These are great fun when you want to sit down and relax a bit.
There are five main characters to find on every page, which means you can compete to see who can find the most characters. If you don’t want to make it a contest, that’s fine too. It’s fun enough to look for Waldo and his friends together.
I am taking a brief, mid-winter vacation with my family this week. Though I will have internet access, I am intentionally limiting the time I spend online.
Don’t let that stop you from visiting Kingdom People. Since the blogosphere is such a temporary medium of communication, I am resurrecting some older posts and some “Worth a Look” links from way back that will hopefully be beneficial to you. Thanks to WordPress Time-stamps, these posts should launch even if I’m away from a computer.
I suspect I won’t be interacting with comments very much during this time. I’ll respond to comments and emails when we return.
Recently, a couple who attends our Sunday School class told me that I should be very grateful for the wife God has given me. “Behind every great man of God is a great woman of God.”
Well… they got half of it right. I am most assuredly not a great man, but I am indeed married to a great woman.
I am thankful for my wife because…
1. She prioritizes the kingdom of God over personal comfort.
Seven years ago, when we said our vows, Corina quoted from Ruth:
Where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God.
My wife meant those words. We spent the first two and a half years of our marriage in her own country. But when the day came for us to move to the States for an indefinite period of time, she willingly said, “Let’s go.”
We’ve had conversations about the future in which she has made it clear that she would be willing to go to Africa if God called us there. Accumulating wealth and establishing comfort and security is not what appeals to her. She cares much more deeply about relationships and about God’s kingdom than her own comfort.
2. She does what she does well so that I can do what I do well.
Corina thought it odd that I dedicated my book to her. After all, I wrote the book the summer we had our second child. “I wasn’t able to help very much with that book,” she says.
She has no idea.
My wife chose to put aside her college degree in social work and her love for the workplace in order to take care of our home and our children. Because she does so well in the home, I am able to focus on my ministry at church, my writing, and my schoolwork.
Some wives are so terribly needy that the husband can barely focus on what he needs to do. Corina is not like that at all. Only two times in our marriage has she called me at work to say, “Come home now!” One time, our son had an allergic reaction. The other time, our daughter had a pretty bad fall. But that is it. Corina is so good in the home. And that frees me up and helps me to do well what I do.
3. She puts others ahead of herself.
Corina is a great cook. But if you watch her carefully, you will see that she is always concerned that everyone else gets enough to eat, even if she goes without. She has always been this way.
My wife constantly thinks of others before herself. I can’t even buy her gift cards for Christmas because she’ll spend the money on me or the kids. That is how selfless she is!
4. She has the gift of discernment.
Because she puts others ahead of herself, Corina tends to observe more than talk. Her power of observation helps her discern people’s actions and attitudes very quickly.
My wife can see right through people. At times, her gift of discernment has caused consternation on my part. I used to think that she was making snap judgments about people too quickly. I don’t think that way anymore. She has been right way too many times.
I have come to see that Corina’s gift of discernment is also a gift to me. Her analysis of a situation tends to be spot on. She sees trouble coming before anyone else does. And she is almost always right.
5. She is a constant source of encouragement.
Corina knows how to encourage me. We’ve gone through days of deep disappointment, but she has never failed to lift me up, strengthen me for the journey ahead, and remind me of what God has done in the past. She believes in me and she lets me know. I don’t know how I could handle the valleys if my wife were constantly doubting my ability to provide. She respects me and lets me know it.
6. She is a princess and doesn’t know it.
In our Disney-fied America, every girl grows up thinking she is a princess. I suspect that growing up in Romania was quite different.
When a friend of mine asked me what I thought of Corina the day we first met, I told him, “She’s a princess and doesn’t know it.” She is strikingly beautiful, and yet she puts forth none of the “look at me” attitude that is so prevalent in our day.
7. She is able to adapt to new cultures very easily.
Sometimes, we get asked how a cross-cultural marriage works. I don’t know how a cross-cultural marriage works in general. I can only speak to how ours has worked.
Most international marriages are different than ours. When the international partner comes to live in the United States with the American spouse, cultural adaptation is rather one-sided. The international adapts to the new normal, the new tongue, and the new cultural reality of the U.S.
Our situation was quite different. I was fluent in Romanian and very knowledgeable of Romanian culture before we started dating. The reason we continue to speak Romanian in the home even today is because Romanian is the language we spoke while dating and getting married.
I spent five years in Romania. She has spent five years in the U.S. Because of our life experiences, we both know each other’s cultures very well. I’m thankful that God gave me the opportunity to know intimately the culture she comes from. And I’m thankful that God has helped her adapt so well to life in the U.S.
Happy anniversary, Corina! The past seven years have been the best of my life. I love you and look forward to what God has in store for us down the road.
The whole of the Christian life should be an act of gratitude.
We are thankful for the magnificent grace of God shown to us in the person and work of Jesus Christ. We are the recipients of so great a salvation. Such grace should overwhelm our hearts and lead to grateful obedience.
Magnificent grace leads me to obedience. But sometimes, it’s the little graces that get to me.
The little drops of grace God showers on my life remind me that he truly loves and cares for me… personally. It’s not just my salvation that makes me thankful; God’s little graces also move me to gratitude.
I can think of two personal examples. The first goes back to my trip to Romania in April. (Actually, the very fact that we were able to go on that trip is an evidence of God’s grace… but I digress.)
One of the elders in the village church I used to serve in has been a godly example to me. He and his wife, though up in years, lived next to the church for decades. When the church relocated, he built a new house next to the new building just so he could be near the house of the Lord. He and his wife called me “their American grandson,” and they became for me “my Romanian grandparents.”
Last January, my parents briefly visited Romania. They found out that Bunica (the grandmother) had stomach cancer and her health was quickly degenerating. Bunica told them that she hoped to see me and Corina once more before she died.
We visited in Romania in April. I preached in the village church one Sunday, helped administer the Lord’s Supper, and hugged Bunica, knowing it would probably be the last time. The next week, she took a turn for the worse, and died shortly after we returned home.
The Lord granted her wish – allowing us to see each other once more before he took her home. He also gave me the great honor of being the last person to give her the Lord’s Supper before she died. When we found out about her death, we were saddened. But we were also touched by the quiet grace of God – to both her and us.
Another example:
Corina and I never had a car in Romania. We bought a car when we moved to the States and got along fine with just one. Late last year, we knew that we would soon need another car. But with school bills and other expenses, we didn’t know if we could afford one.
Earlier this year, a couple in our church who was planning to donate their 1996 Toyota Camry to charity decided to give it to us instead.
The Camry is in great shape. We recently took it past the 400,000 mile mark! It is so reliable that we had no qualms about taking it on vacation this summer. That little Camry, which might not be worth much money to most people, is nevertheless a valuable reminder of God’s provision and grace to us.
God has done great things, yes. I praise him for his goodness shown to us in our great salvation.
But God does little things too. And those little things remind me just how much he really does love us.
What is man that you are mindful of him?
The son of man that you care for him?
God has given our family three major blessings during these summer months – three blessings that I pray will bring fruit for the kingdom of God in unique ways.
A Baby
This summer, Corina gave birth to our second child – a daughter, Julia Karis Wax. We live in a culture that sometimes downplays the importance of children, often seeing them as burdens and heavy responsibilities. As Christians, we see our new daughter as a blessing from God – a blessing to be treasured, cherished, and trained up in the way of the Lord. A godly woman of faith can do tremendous things for God’s kingdom, and we pray that our investment in this little girl will one day reap kingdom benefits that we would never think to imagine.
A Book
The second summer blessing has been the opportunity to work on a book, scheduled to be published by Crossway in January 2010. I have spent the last two months working on the manuscript, and I plan on spending the month of August making final revisions and receiving feedback from some friends. I am humbled that the Crossway team would want to publish this project, and I am excited about the opportunity to labor for the kingdom in a new way.
A Mission
A third summer blessing has not yet arrived. I plan to take a small mission team to Moldova (the country that borders Romania) in September. This will be my first trip to this Eastern European country, and I am looking forward to teaching/preaching again in Romanian and having the opportunity to train bivocational pastors. I have long believed that when the time is right, we will do additional work in Eastern Europe, and it excites me to think that we will soon have a foretaste of future ministry.
My 31-day blog fast was needed in order to direct my attention to the three summer blessings that God has given us. But it is good to be writing regularly again. Next week, I plan on sharing a few lessons I learned from taking a blog sabbatical.
The Sunday School class for 20- and 30- somethings I lead here in Shelbyville was featured on the front page of the local paper on Sunday! Here’s an excerpt:
“Twenty-somethings are searching for truth,” said the Rev. Trevin Wax, associate pastor at First Baptist Church. “They want to know why Christianity is true, why it matters, and whether it’s really good.”
Wax believes that church should be a place where people can ask questions. Since he started his twenty-somethings Life Path Class in February 2007 he’s tried to answer life questions for the folks to which he ministers.
Tomorrow night, I will be driving to Louisville, Kentucky for the Together for the Gospel conference and the Band of Bloggers luncheon. I missed both in 2006, even though I was living in Louisville at the time.
I look forward to meeting some of my readers this week. If you are in the area and would like to get together, email me and we can try to set something up.
3. See who can find Waldo and his friends the fastest.
