I grew up in a church that pressured people to identify a particular time and place when God saved them, when they were adopted into God’s family. In fact, I grew up believing that if I could not recall the moment God saved me, then I was at best a second-class Christian or at worst not a Christian at all.
I really wrestled with this about seven years ago. My mom told me that I prayed and asked Jesus to come into my life when I was five years old, but I don’t remember anything about it. What I do remember is how drastically my life changed when I was twenty-one.
It frustrated me not knowing for sure whether my relationship with God began when I was five and “prayed the prayer” or when I was twenty-one and my life clearly changed. Did I become a Christian when I was five and then simply rebelled until I was twenty-one, at which point I rededicated my life to God? Or did I become a Christian for the first time at twenty-one? I didn’t know, and it really bothered me. I wanted to pinpoint the time and place. My spiritual life depended on it, or so I thought.
About that time I had lunch with Arnie, one of my wisest, most godly friends. As I shared my struggle with him, he looked at me and said, “Tullian, does it really matter? The Bible has a lot more to say about how the Christian life ends than how it begins.”
I dropped my fork. He was right. I thought about all those places in the Bible that speak about finishing the race, obtaining the prize, pressing on, and straining forward. I felt a huge weight lift off my shoulders. Pinpointing the time and place I became a Christian didn’t matter. What did matter was my daily pursuit of God. What did matter was my need to continue in the faith from that day forward.
John Stott said, “He who stands firm in the faith to the end will be saved, not because salvation is the reward of endurance, but because endurance is the hallmark of the saved.” Arnie helped me see that my ongoing endurance, not my ability to isolate a moment when my relationship with God began, is what helps me be certain about my relationship with God.
The truth is, there are different types of testimonies. Everybody’s story of how God saved them is unique. True, salvation happens in an instant, a single moment in time. But some people are able to remember that moment, and others aren’t. That’s okay. What really matters is that all of us can know we are God’s children, adopted into his family, if we are currently pressing on in the faith.