Sep
10
2009
It Is Not Death To Die
Last night I went to visit my seventy-year-old father who lies in very critical condition as a result of liver transplant surgery two days ago. Prior to surgery, his doctors discovered that his heart is in much worse condition than they had anticipated, and he may not recover. Even if he does, he will spend at least the next three months in the hospital.
When I walked into the ICU, I gasped. I cried. He was heavily sedated; tubes coming in and out of everywhere. Bloody bandages all over the place. He was bloated. He looked dead. Even though his eyes were closed and filled with tears, he would grimace in pain from time to time. I think he knew I was there–I’m banking on it, anyway.
I spent 45 minutes with him by myself talking to him, reminding him of our trip to Switzerland (his homeland) last year and all the fun we had. I told him how much I love him and what a great dad he has been to me. I told him how much Jesus loves him and how, one way or another, he will be just fine real soon. I cried some more. It was the first time I came face to face (literally) with the sobering reality that my dad will die–perhaps much sooner rather than later. The thought of losing him breaks my heart. Dad is one of my best friends and wisest advisors. I haven’t made one major decision over the past seventeen years without seeking his counsel. He’s also one of my biggest fans. No one encourages me more than my dad. He’s a gospel man through and through. God’s amazing grace still amazes him–and that amazes me!
Thinking about living the rest of my life without my dad makes me want to wail. I can’t imagine the loss I’ll feel when he dies. But this experience reminds me of the fact that life and the world we live in aren’t what they’re supposed to be. This isn’t the perfect world God created before we filled it with sin. There’s something about diseased hearts, painful recoveries, death, and relational separation that sobers us up to the reality that things aren’t right in our world.
But, as I reminded my dad last night (hoping–believing–that he heard me), for those who are in Christ, the best is yet to come. The day is coming when God will satisfy our deepest longings and fulfill our highest dreams. He’ll wipe away all our tears and end every frustration. He will, in the words of J. R. R. Tolkien, make “everything sad come untrue.” He’ll right every wrong and correct every injustice. The day is coming when we’ll work and play and worship forever, with no more sin, no more sickness and disease, no more failure, no more pain, no more death. There is coming a day when the kingdoms of this world will become the kingdom of our Lord and of his Christ, and we will reign with him forever and ever (Revelation 11:15).
I ended my time last night with my dad praying with him and singing a hymn that has brought me deep comfort in these difficult days as I watch my dad suffer–a hymn that speaks loudly and clearly of the hope we have in Christ: “It is not Death to Die”…
It is not death to die
To leave this weary road
And join the saints who dwell on high
Who’ve found their home with God
It is not death to close
The eyes long dimmed by tears
And wake in joy before Your throne
Delivered from our fears
It is not death to fling
Aside this earthly dust
And rise with strong and noble wing
To live among the just
It is not death to hear
The key unlock the door
That sets us free from mortal years
To praise You evermore
Original words by Henri Malan (1787–1864).
Please keep praying for my dad. Pray for a full recovery. I need him around a little longer. But it sure is a deep comfort to know that, for those who have placed their trust in the finished work of Christ, it is not death to die.
65 Comments
What fellowship of suffering we can have in the valley of Achor, (trouble) in the valley of the shadow of death, dear brother. I have never had to deal with the death of a close loved one. My wife has had to handle both the deaf of her sweet Christ loving mother and the untimely death of her older wayward brother. I do not know what awaits me, only that God is there already preparing the way. Truthfully though, what makes it hard for me is that my father is an atheist. I think about his encounter with death and with the God of death, and think that maybe he will trust Christ then, though now he is hard toward the Beloved and devout in his disbelief. It is both a scary and hopeful thought for me. How comforting to know that you and your father can rejoice ultimately in the fellowship of His Son regardless of his condition. And yet, no matter what the apparent condition of a soul at the present, we can always trust the mercy of our great God and Savior, even when one seems so lost.
God is gracious!
Dear Pastor Tullian,
We an only imagine what you are going through right now. Your heart is understandably heavy, as no matter how old…we always need our parents “just a little longer.” But as always, you bring peace and shepherding to us with your experience. It is one thing to say and fervently believe that death is not dying because we have everlasting life through and with Christ…It is another to believe this–remember this–when facing the deterioration of a special loved one. Even in your pain, you are leading us and reminding us of the grace and embrace that the Lord has waiting for us at the end of this road. What an unspeakable comfort that is. Thank you for sharing, thank you for opening your heart to us.
You must know and please remember how many prayers are being lifted up for your dad and your family. You know he is in God’s hands, and there is, was, and never will be any better place to be. May God continue to bless you, as He has blessed us with you in more ways than we could ever express.
In Christ,
Ernesto & Melissa Vega
Thanks for the posting, and the hymn. We will be playing the hymn at my mother in law’s funeral this tuesday.
[...] Tullian quotes It Is Not Death to Die. That song has been meaningful to me since this post a year ago. [...]
Pastor Tullian,
Pastor the Lord is doing a great work through you; the evil one is on the attack. God is shaping you into the man of God he wants you to be, be of good faith that God has a plan for you. “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28 “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.” 1 Corinthians 10:13
Ricky
Dear Pastor Tullian:
Our family is praying for your father’s full recovery. There is such a close bond between a father and his son. I know how hard it was for my husband when he lost his father. We pray that God will extend to you more time with your father.
Also, we pray for your strength as the devil has been knocking on the door at Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church. You are a Godly man, who is doing the Lord’s will daily. We feel it here at the church, and at Westminster where there is a vast improvement in all areas due to your recent hiring of Dr. Orsino. Good move!!
I am in the choir and 100 percent behind you as our pastor. My whole family will be voting for your continued pastorship at our church. We will be fasting and praying tomorrow for you, Coral Ridge, Westminster Academy and Knox Theological Seminary. We know God’s power is sufficient. His will will be done!
We are sorry that you are being put through so many trials at once. Please know that most of the church is supportive of you. And remember “If God is for you, who can be against you!”
All the best to you, Kim and your children.
In Christ’s Love,
Janet Devers
I’m praying for your dad…
In the midst of a category ‘off the charts’ storm, you are setting an example that is to be reckoned with, and one that is a sermon unto itself. How blessed are we to bear witness to your testimony of faith and trust.
To God be the glory!
The Reviers
Dear Tchividjian Family,
I join with countless others who pray for Dr. Tchividjian at this time. He walked me through the darkest days of my life, and through to a new life. I believe I would have died had it not been for his counsel and encouragement. He is a man for whom no descriptive word is sufficient. I have thanked God for him and for his wonderful counsel and faithful ministry so many times. I continue to pray for him now. May God support all of you in these difficult days, and may that dear, wonderful man be restored to you.
Barbara Monts
The day before my mother died, I cried out “God, how am I ever going to live without my mother?” God very clearly spoke to my heart. “Laura, she is in me, and I am in you. You will never be without your mother.” It really floored me and changed my whole perspective. This is true for all of us in Christ. When that day comes for you, and I pray it is a long and healthy way off, it will still be true. Your dad is in Christ and Christ is in you. You will never be without your dad.
Tu Tu, You have Family-in-Christ here praying for all of you, as we have been since we met you. (Folks living in the cul-de-sac) (I live in SC now). I am very sorry you are going through this. Please find strength by leaning on our faith–that of your fellow Believers. All of you have been through so much, but your big family has helped my small family (me, brother Jim, Mom & Dad) more than you know! ..even your extended family has: you might have heard that Dad’s Mother was saved at a Ft. Lauderdale crusade with your Grandfather in the 80′s and one of our daughters attended one of Franklin’s alter calls in Charleston. The Lord has influenced us through many of you, and we appreciate the many good examples you and your family have set. Let us “carry” you now. Much Love Always!
[...] Tullian Tchividjian, pastor of Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church tells of visiting his father in hospital. “…this experience reminds me of the fact that life and the world we live in aren’t what they’re supposed to be. This isn’t the perfect world God created before we filled it with sin…” He quotes a hymn lyric which was new to me but is known to many others, It Is Not Death To Die. [...]
I just wanted to say that a friend of mine sent this to me and it comes with perfect timing as I recently lost my 79 year old mother to cancer. She too was laid up in bed bloated and sick with tubes everywhere and I didn’t know if she had trusted Christ. I wasn’t able to be there with her in person which made this heartbreaking. I wrote her a letter to share the words of our loving God and the salvation He provides. She cried but was unable to speak in her pain, but my hope is that she has much like the thief on the cross trusted Him by faith and been accepted into paradise. The pain was immense and immeasurable. It was the biggest burden I have ever had to know that the one person in the whole universe who I came into being through was not here anymore. I thought I was going to be crushed by the pain. Yet, I cried out to the Lord He saved me from my turmoil and rescued me from the pit of my despair. I come from a family that is full of secrets, lies, deceptions and many burdensome sins. Yet, my father in heaven to whom I run, comforts and heals and helps – simply when I called to him. Doesn’t God show us how good he is in the midst of the most severe crisis? To Him be the glory!
Hi Pastor Tullian,
We’ve never met, at least I don’t think so, but I knew your father. He was our marriage counselor about 14 years ago when I went through a tough divorce. I was determined to save the marriage, and he was determined to do all he could to help me. Unfortunately, my wife had other ideas, and it didn’t matter what either of us said to her. Through all that though, he was a true friend, someone who understood what I was going through, with kindness, wisdom, and understanding beyond words. We remained friends, having met and talked a number of times since my divorce.
He always had kind words for me, words of encouragement, words of faith. I know how hard this must be for you! In just my short meetings with him, I came to call him one of my closest, most sincere friends, and I can’t tell you how much I looked forward to our conversations! Having been raised by him, I can only imagine how hard it must be for you to think of living your life without him, even though we know that God himself watches over your father!
When Don Law, one of my closest friends and a member of Coral Ridge Church, sent me a link to this site, I began praying for your Dad. My family and I will keep praying for him, for a speedy recovery! We’ll pray also for you and your family. Above all, we will pray that God’s will be done. God has a plan for your father, and for all of us, and whatever happens we must accept for we know it is God’s will. I can’t help praying though, that God would choose to allow such a remarkable person and man of faith as your father to remain with us for a while longer!
Pastor Tullian
Thank you for sharing the saddness that you are going through, I know it’s hard to see your parent , spouse. or siblings go through something this.I have been there three times. My heart goes out to you and your family, I am praying for your dad’ full recovery.
God is gracious