How The Gospel Saved My Life
Tullian Tchividjian Blog | October 25, 2011
A couple months ago Drew Dyck, managing editor of Leadership Journal, came to Ft. Lauderdale to interview me about the 2009 merger of New City Church (the church I planted in 2003) and Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church. As has been well documented, it was an incredibly painful and tumultuous year. It was the year that God brought me to the end of myself, broke my legs, and taught me grace. It was the year that the gospel saved me 18 years after I became a Christian.The whole story of how I discovered the practical power and punch of the gospel during that agonizing year is the subject of my new book Jesus + Nothing = Everything. The book is an autobiographical record highlighting how God helped me rediscover the now-power of the gospel in the crucible of excruciating pain.
In the latest issue of Leadership Journal, Drew captured the heart of what happened that year in an interview he did with me entitled War and Peace, and he highlights how I survived a leadership coup by finding rest in the liberating power of the gospel.
Here's an excerpt of one of my answers:
I was realizing in a fresh way the now-power of the gospel---that the gospel doesn't simply rescue us from the past and rescue us for the future; it also rescues us in the present from being enslaved to things like fear, insecurity, anger, self-reliance, bitterness, entitlement, and insignificance. Through my pain, I was being convinced all over again that the power of the gospel is just as necessary and relevant after you become a Christian as it is before.
When that biblical reality gripped my heart, I was free like I had never felt before in my life. It gives you the backbone to walk into a room full of church leaders and say "this is what we're going to do and this is why we're going to do it, even if it gets me thrown into the street."
There is a fresh, sanctified I-don't-care-ness that accompanies belief in the gospel. Whether you like me or not doesn't matter, because my worth and my dignity and my identity are anchored in God's approval. Christ won all of the approval and acceptance I need.
You can read the whole thing here.
I really, really hope and pray that this story will be an encouragement to struggling and discouraged pastors. I know that many of your stories are worse than mine. It doesn't seem fair to me that just because I come from a well-known family and inherited a well-known church, that my story gets told and yours doesn't. But I've talked with many of you over the last two years and your stories have encouraged me tremendously.
God knows how deeply grateful I am for all of you pastors who are feeling empty and all by yourself. Brothers, I am with you--side by side; back to back.
Comments:
October 28, 2011 at 04:55 PM
[...] Billy Graham’s grandson, Tullian Tchividjian, blogs about how the Gospel saved his life. [...]
October 27, 2011 at 10:22 AM
Tullian
I am sorry you have had this experience from fellow believers. However, I rejoice with you that it has led you into a greater knowledge (experiential as well as intellectual) of the gospel. God disciplines us for our good. We end up (generally after the trial) acknowledging 'it was good for me to be afflicted'. Like Paul we are brought to the point where we despair of life itself but this is so we learn the excellency of the power lies in God and not in us.
I urge you to keep the gospel central. You know the areas where I may wish for an added emphasis.
October 27, 2011 at 04:08 PM
Tullian, could you please comment on what Dr. MacArthur reads in this youtube video about Billy Graham.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3odPpDTRjOc&feature=related
October 26, 2011 at 10:22 AM
Tullian,
Not sure yet why as I was listening to the Sunday's message (again) last night how I was hard pressed in thinking at the same time your story,(hmm) that there's an overlapping relationship. I assume that between the both of them there's a message for all of us or maybe just me (if I may).
October 26, 2011 at 04:25 AM
Pastor
I've attended an assortment of churchs and experienced leadership by many different types of pastors. Most are very sincere and try hard to lead in biblical way. But you are by far the best Gospel of Grace minister in leadership that i've met.
I pray every day that you will continue to be encouraged and blessed. thank you
October 26, 2011 at 04:09 AM
Pastor
We all have some wonderful stories to tell.
In Sept.1984-85. I matricualted into Barrinton college in Barrinton RI. one month later they were to merge with Gordon College in Wenham Mass.
It was a difficult but blessed year.
God will continue to bless us as we trust Him.
October 26, 2011 at 03:49 PM
Pastor
Since the spring of 2009 I've prayed for and about the ministry @ CRPC.
This ministry has revived my Christian walk and I have grown in the past two years. I find it hard to believe God would lead me to a Presbyterian denonmination since I've grown up Catholic and now am an Independant believer.(fundamentalist).
I really am grateful to God for my Chritian walk and the ministry @ CRPC. Thank you for not giving up, it has blessed me to see all that has transpired. I'm am not officially a member but I feel at home when I visit. the best is yet to come.
October 25, 2011 at 11:15 AM
This is an awesome article.....NOT only for pastors, but for those who have been a part of hurtful church experiences....thanks for sharing and pouring out your heart. It is awesome how God points out our sin and pursues us rather than shunning or shaming us.
October 25, 2011 at 08:54 AM
Tullian,
I like the way Don began his comment; God's providence is not uniformly distributed to be sure!
My own younger pastor struggled through two tough years of opposition without a true, serious, fist-pounding supporter among his elder board. He was called to our church to bring some reforms, but then was rejected when he actually tried to implement them. I am sure he was prayed for by many, but behind closed doors he was truly all alone; he finally bagged it all this year and left the ministry after four years serving our church and trying in vain to rid us of our own idols by way of a Gospel-driven ecclesiological makeover.
I have read comments from your opposers who say the other side of the story needs to be told, but from what I can see thus far, there was plenty of idol smashing that needed to be done at CRPC. Change is tough, and our hearts are indeed idol factories, and I know that we get crusty and brittle as we age (I'm 50). But that only reaffirms the truth that a focus and emphasis on the Gospel alone, as delivered by Scripture alone, can provide lasting vitality to a church. It's not about music, creativity, or other appearances, aesthetics, or "the feel"; it's about the two-edged sword of the Word.
You've piqued my interest in your book! It sounds like a great story. Blessings to you.
October 25, 2011 at 08:03 AM
Pastor Tullian,
It may not seem fair that your story gets told while other pastors' stories don't. Heck, it might not be fair. What I feel is clear is the overwhelming encouragement that your story has been. As I'm sure you know, God placed you in a well-known family and gave you a well-known church and led you through those tough times so that you would have this story to tell, and so that people would listen. Thank you for being faithful to tell your story, and for being faithful to make it clear that your story isn't really about you, but Christ.
Started reading JPNE this week, and I'm loving it. Thanks for taking the time to write it, and for being so authentic in your weakness and Christ's strength.
October 25, 2011 at 05:42 PM
Truly an amazing story. I can honestly admit, I can understand from his perspective even though as an outsider, see it vividly clear more so as a member of the body receiving the same like treatment but on a different level but the feelings are nonetheless the same. I've had people say things to me I don't think any body has ever heard not even pastors but then again I've never revealed them. As Pastor T. did, some times you go some where in private and you just let it all out when all the whys overwhelm you. Somebody once said don't harbor your anger if your angry at God go and let it out cause when your done He'll probably say "Are you finished...But anyway John.M's book "Reckless Faith" - (when the church looses it's will to discern) covers just about everything from the pulpit, to the clergy and the laymen am I'm sure most of us has either been there or experienced some kind of reckless faith in there church.
October 25, 2011 at 05:17 PM
Tullian,
Thank you so much for this post, and the shout out to the unheard. The story the Lord has lead you through is such a blessing an eye opening testimony to his scandalous gospel!
I got wind of the story through the Resurgence conference and now download your pod casts weekly. Can I say that I hear the Gospel through each message and I am challenged to do the same when I stand before the flock the Lord has put me over.
Our church is like the ones you mentioned so I thought I'd chime in to this post as it has struck a chord close to home. I am encouraged and challenged as I read this post. Soli Deo Gloria!
October 25, 2011 at 04:45 PM
Amen brother!Brilliant interview. Just want to let you know that it was through this blog that I got hold of Elyse Fitzpatrick's book 'Because He loves me' and it really has transformed my life. I have been so bound up in doing, achieving and measuring up as a Christian, that I lost all my joy in following Jesus. Well God has opened my eyes afresh to His wonderful grace and it has changed everything. May God keep you close to Him. Thankyou!
October 25, 2011 at 03:16 PM
Thanks so much for sharing your pain and this story! It's not a unique story but you are in a unique position to tell your story! Tell it far and wide! Satan is alive and well. The not-so-suprising truth is that he doesn't change the script much as he attacks pastors and their wives! The glory is that the Gospel is more alive and well and is practically true even in the midst of such HUGE ministry pain! Perhaps we will all meet in a corner of heaven for a special praise and worship for the One who called us to serve Him and His Kingdom!
November 2, 2011 at 09:14 PM
The fight is not against flesh & blood. Thank you Pastor T for not giving up and keeping your focus on Jesus throughout all the intensity of your pain. No one can truly know the depth of that pain to your soul. Also thank you for not hiding your pain or giving in to the tide of peer pressure. I also enjoyed your article in Decision Magazine as it shares the struggle, your spiritual victory over your own idols and gives God the glory for growing you up through the pain. My aging father still recounts the pain of his 3 churches that voted him out. I personally respect and enjoy your perserverence through the pain. Your ability to be so transparent is extremely healing not only for pastors but for pk's or wives that have been wounded by congregations as well. Keep up the good fight of faith as you run the race that is set before you, looking only unto Jesus.
November 1, 2011 at 09:01 PM
My aunt Alice and cousin Dave attend your church, and they absolutely love you! She also sent me a womans Bible study you are conducting. I have yet to log in, but will do very soon.
God bless,
Mary
James
October 28, 2011 at 12:09 PM
Last night I watched CRPC mid week service and at one point about 27 minutes into it we are given a list prior to "Nothing will separate me from the love of Christ concluding with "If nothing separates us from the love of Christ-(This list)concluding "what a sweet deal" I'll continue Tobe a complete jerk...I was hoping he was going to follow that up with (from the same book his point was being made)from Rm's 8 I believe but falling back on Rm's 6:1-23 but mainly 6:1-2 it was almost like I knew that was the punch line but I was wrong on this one. Actually you can go back to Rm's 5:19-6-2 to give that a sweet deal. That's how I would of seen it just a 1 man's opinion no pun intended.