Christmas is coming, as your kids have undoubtedly reminded you. That means shopping season has arrived—with former forests worth of gift catalogs in the mail. Anything kids could want (and plenty they wouldn’t have known to want) is there for the ordering. We pore over the catalogs, thinking how happy these toys will make our kids; they pore over the same catalogs dreaming of newer, better, and more.
It’s easy to be swept along in the commercial spirit of the season. If we’re not careful, the world will conform gift-giving parents and gift-loving kids to its pattern (Rom. 12:2), like fruitcake squeezed into a holiday mold.
I’m not a curmudgeon. I affirm the goodness of giving gifts, especially to children. But even as we model God’s abundance for our kids, we must point them beyond material possessions to lasting joy. How can we do that?
Generous God
When we give presents, we remind our kids of the Giver of all good gifts, and of the greatest Gift, Christ himself. As Andrew Wilson notes, “The original Christmas present, wrapped in muslins and rags rather than decorative paper, does not merely come to give; he is himself a gift, the gift, the most outlandish demonstration of love that God could possibly offer.” Giving helps us remember and celebrate God’s generous grace in Christ.
When we give presents, we remind our kids of the Giver of all good gifts, and of the greatest Gift, Christ himself.
We imitate our Father’s bountiful goodness when we purchase extravagant gifts for our children. When each of my kids turns 12, I take him or her on a trip to a national park, just the two of us. I hope I image our good Father in giving my kids that trip. There’s a time and a place for abundant gifts like that—but even as we give them, we must tread carefully.
In Abundance, Take Care
God’s Word says, “Life does not consist in an abundance of possessions” (Luke 12:15, NIV). Those who live in “luxury and in self-indulgence” fatten themselves for the day of slaughter (James 5:5). Jesus said, “Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matt. 6:21). Earthly treasure can function like a magnet, pulling our hearts away from the Lord. So when we spend money to give treasures to children, it’s worth remembering our parental responsibility to guard their hearts from greed.
Consider this analogy. God commanded his people to feast on certain days. There was no concern those feasts might produce gluttony or drunkenness. Unbridled celebration has its place. But feasting was the exception, not the norm. Simplicity, moderation, and a daily-bread mindset reigned for most of the year, with days set aside for fasting too.
We live in a culture that feasts more than it fasts. In a materialistic and gluttonous culture, it’s wise to temper our feasts and steward our gift giving carefully.
Augustine’s Answer
Kids aren’t wrong to seek joy in gracious gifts. But parents know they can grow bored tomorrow with what they received yesterday. The gift catalogs and endless commercials overpromise and underdeliver. So in our giving, we must teach our kids to seek the Joy beneath the joy. As Augustine writes,
What do I love when I love my God? . . . It is true that I love a light of a certain kind, a voice, a perfume, a food, an embrace; but they are of the kind that I love in my inner self, when my soul is bathed in light that is not bound by space; when it listens to sound that never dies away; when it breathes fragrance that is not borne away on the wind; when it tastes food that is never consumed by the eating; when it clings to an embrace from which it is not severed by fulfillment of desire. This is what I love when I love my God.
It’s not the gifts that will delight our children eternally, for they’ll inevitably end up in a landfill or secondhand store. Instead, our kids need gifts that move their affections to the Gift and Giver.
Gifts That Point to the Giver
Are such gifts possible? I think so. Here are a few ideas.
1. Gifts of (Near) Necessity
Give helpful items that don’t fit into your normal budget. In a season when purse strings are tight, you might give your child the new shoes, jacket, or backpack you weren’t able to buy earlier in the year. In lean years, gifts like these can be more appreciated than a luxury item, and they lead our families to thank God for his unfailing provision.
2. Gifts for Stewardship
Give gifts that help your children steward their God-given talents, such as a new musical instrument for a budding musician who wants to play for the church. Gifts like these can point our kids beyond selfish desires toward serving others in Christ’s name.
3. Gifts of Love
An aunt who lives far away may only know enough of her nephew to give a gift card. But a thoughtful gift—one that shows you’re watching, listening, and paying attention; perhaps one that took time and energy to make—can help kids remember and praise the God who knows, loves, and pays close attention to them.
4. Gifts of Compassion
For years, I’ve donated to a Christian compassion ministry in lieu of buying some wealthy family members “one more thing.” They’re deeply grateful for it.
In our giving, we must teach our kids to seek the Joy beneath the joy.
As parents, talk with your kids about ways you might use some of your Christmas funds to provide for others. We give gifts like these because our God had compassion on us when we were in need.
This Christmas, will your kids find delight in the One who is the Treasure (Matt. 13:44), or will they only exchange treasured trinkets? In your gift giving, help them to treasure not only the gift but the Gift and Giver more. Lasting joy is found in him.
Involved in Women’s Ministry? Add This to Your Discipleship Tool Kit.
We need one another. Yet we don’t always know how to develop deep relationships to help us grow in the Christian life. Younger believers benefit from the guidance and wisdom of more mature saints as their faith deepens. But too often, potential mentors lack clarity and training on how to engage in discipling those they can influence.
Whether you’re longing to find a spiritual mentor or hoping to serve as a guide for someone else, we have a FREE resource to encourage and equip you. In Growing Together: Taking Mentoring Beyond Small Talk and Prayer Requests, Melissa Kruger, TGC’s vice president of discipleship programming, offers encouraging lessons to guide conversations that promote spiritual growth in both the mentee and mentor.
