You’re probably aware that children and teens today—particularly those with smartphones or personal devices who are active on social media—face an elevated risk of online exploitation.
I’m a career law enforcement official who has been working exclusively on child exploitation cases for the past six years. I’m also a parent and serve as an elder in my local church. So I’ve had the opportunity to study the issue of online exploitation from multiple perspectives.
The number of minors targeted through social media has risen at an alarming rate within the last few years. According to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, reports of online enticement increased 300 percent from 2021 to 2023. In 2023 alone, that organization’s tipline received more than 36 million reports.
The law enforcement community is working hard to identify and arrest child predators and to rescue victims. But with these numbers, we can’t do it alone. Every investigator could exclusively work on child exploitation cases and we’d barely scratch the surface.
Your child’s safety begins at home. Parents and caretakers are the first line of defense. Too often, by the time law enforcement gets involved, much of the damage is done. Additionally, online predators often use sophisticated techniques to hide their identity, or they reside outside our jurisdiction in countries that don’t recognize or cooperate with our legal process. It’s imperative that parents and caretakers establish boundaries with their children’s social media use to protect them online.
Consider three problems kids’ routinely encounter online.
Problem #1: Peer Pressure
Social media has radically changed the way kids are learning and adapting to culture. Traditionally, children learned by observing and conforming to common behaviors in their community. Psychologists refer to this as conformity bias: “When in Rome, do as the Romans do.”
At the same time, our children learn to identify and copy the most prestigious behavior. This is one reason many Christian parents put their kids in Christian schools. The hope is that children would observe Christlike behavior, which is exulted and venerated, and develop healthy role models and discipling relationships.
But that process takes time and personal interaction to properly develop. Jonathan Haidt, the author of the New York Times number-one bestseller The Anxious Generation, said this about social media and conformity bias:
On a social media platform, a child can scroll through a thousand data points in one hour (at three seconds per post), each one accompanied by numerical evidence (likes) and comments that show whether the post was a success or a failure. Social media platforms are therefore the most efficient conformity engines ever invented. They can shape an adolescent’s mental models of acceptable behavior in a matter of hours, whereas parents can struggle unsuccessfully for years to get their children to sit up straight or stop whining. Parents don’t get to use the power of conformity bias, so they are often no match for the socializing power of social media.
Children face a spiritual battle online. While Christian parents labor to raise their children in the fear and admonition of the Lord, many greatly underestimate how easily the Enemy can use social media to undermine this important work. Who are the social media “influencers” your children follow on Instagram, TikTok, or Snapchat? Are they pointing your children to Christ or to worldly pleasures that ultimately leave them feeling empty and isolated? I’d argue these strangers have a much greater influence on our youth than we realize.
Problem #2: Mental Health
In December 2021, the U.S. surgeon general released an advisory declaring a “youth mental health crisis.” Over the last decade, the Centers for Disease Control statistics show a 40 percent increase in the number of high school students reporting persistent feelings of sadness and hopelessness.
Moreover, suicide rates among teens and young adults have gone up 57 percent since 2007, the same year the first iPhone was introduced to the world. In their first year on the market, upward of 1.4 million smartphones were sold. By 2008, that number was 11.6 million. By 2023, the number of global smartphone users is estimated at 6.9 billion and is expected to rise to 7.7 billion by 2027. (There are 8.2 billion people in the world.)
It’s difficult to quantify the effects of this rise in new technology on our youth, but the data indicates a strong correlation between the use of smartphones and social media and the rising rates of depression and suicide among teenagers.
Problem #3: Porn
Smartphones in the hands of children and teenagers greatly increase the access and sharing of pornography, which generally goes undetected by parents. Many parental controls block access to websites with adult content, but teens are increasingly viewing and sharing pornography through direct messaging on social media platforms.
A 2022 study by Common Sense Media found that teens who identify as “very religious” were more likely to report viewing pornography through social media or nonpornography websites. These devices also allow children to make their own pornographic content, which they’re often manipulated into sharing with online predators who extort or coerce them into producing more explicit content or engaging in face-to-face sexual encounters.
Parents need to understand the implications of how children are viewing pornography. Twenty years ago, there was little to no chance of ever meeting the people whose content you were viewing. But now with social media, within minutes kids can meet face-to-face with these people. We see this occurring at an alarming rate, particularly with young teenage girls who show signs of sexual promiscuity and boys struggling with same-sex attraction.
Not only has the way children access and view pornography changed, but the content has changed as well. As our culture has increasingly rejected the boundaries God has placed around sex, the pornography industry has produced more taboo and violent content to feed the flesh of those given over to a depraved mind (Rom. 1).
The content kids are exposed to online isn’t like what was in Playboy magazines a few decades ago (not to excuse that content). Today’s increasing depravity, combined with addictive algorithms, is creating a generation of young people with an extremely warped understanding of human sexuality. That same Common Sense Media study found that 52 percent of teenagers have viewed violent forms of pornography, including depictions of rape, choking, or someone in pain. Twenty-eight percent of teenagers who view violent pornography believe most people like to be hit during sex.
I believe this is why we’re seeing younger and younger offenders possessing child sexual abuse material.
Protect Your Kids
Parental controls are a helpful tool that to an extent can mitigate some threats adolescents are facing from online predators, but no software or firewall is 100 percent effective. Children, particularly teenagers, have become increasingly savvy at finding ways around firewalls and hiding their online activity from parents and school administrators.
I talk to a lot of parents. I know many are uncomfortable with their children using smartphones and social media but allow it because they’re worried their children will be socially isolated without them. I’d argue the risk of depression, addiction, sexual exploitation, and isolation that results from the use of these devices far outweighs any social isolation that might result from taking them away.
When parents ask me what they can do to keep their kids safe online, I tell them to keep their kids off social media and away from unsupervised use of smartphones and tablets. The law enforcement community is committed to pursuing child predators and bringing them to justice, but parents are the front line of defense for their kids.
Talk to your children about their online activity and create boundaries to keep them safe from online exploitation. I understand this will probably not be popular with your children, but you can remind them that in Scripture, God’s discipline for his children is an expression of his love. The author of Hebrews wrote, “For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it” (Heb. 12:11).
Involved in Women’s Ministry? Add This to Your Discipleship Tool Kit.
We need one another. Yet we don’t always know how to develop deep relationships to help us grow in the Christian life. Younger believers benefit from the guidance and wisdom of more mature saints as their faith deepens. But too often, potential mentors lack clarity and training on how to engage in discipling those they can influence.
Whether you’re longing to find a spiritual mentor or hoping to serve as a guide for someone else, we have a FREE resource to encourage and equip you. In Growing Together: Taking Mentoring Beyond Small Talk and Prayer Requests, Melissa Kruger, TGC’s vice president of discipleship programming, offers encouraging lessons to guide conversations that promote spiritual growth in both the mentee and mentor.
