How Local Churches Can Bridge a Widening Gender Divide

A recent Financial Times article sparked a frenzy of hot takes when it described how survey data across the developed world showed an “emerging global gender divide” along ideological lines. Author John Burn-Murdoch argued that in places like the U.S., the U.K., Germany, Poland, and South Korea, there’s a widening gap between women (becoming increasingly progressive) and men (leaning more conservative). Gen Z, Burn-Murdoch says, is “two generations, not one.”

While Burn-Murdoch perhaps overstates his case—other data suggests the gap isn’t quite so large—he isn’t the only one in recent years citing evidence of a growing political gender gap. Late last year, the Washington Post even ran an editorial arguing the growing gender ideology gap posed an ominous threat to the already beleaguered institution of marriage.

Much ink has been spilled pondering why young women and men are diverging ideologically. Daniel Cox—director of the American Enterprise Institute’s Survey Center on American Life—argues that the #MeToo movement united Gen Z women politically: “No event was more influential to their political development than the #MeToo movement.”

Others cite the larger dynamics of social media (which of course made #MeToo possible), and particularly algorithmic echo chambers, as fertile ground for polarization of every sort. Still others point to a correlation with a similar widening gender gap in education, as girls pull increasingly ahead of boys in both high school and college degree completion.

Whatever the key causes—or constellation of causes—might be, the divergence is almost certainly connected to trends like delayed marriage and declining fertility rates. When single men and women differ on politics—in a partisan age when politics is ever more central to identity and the “other side” is ever more othered—it makes sense that misunderstandings and social anxiety between the genders might grow, making them less likely (or at least in no hurry) to marry and commit to a shared life together.

Or maybe it’s a chicken-or-egg situation, where the growing ideological divide is downstream from declining and delayed marriage rates. If young men and women aren’t spending their formative twentysomething years dating and getting married, establishing political views alongside their spouses in early adulthood, they’re likely developing those views in other places: among like-minded friends of the same gender, in online echo chambers, or under the TikTok tutelage of “influencers” who inflame resentment and grievances between men and women.

Either way, there’s clearly work to do in fostering healthier relationships between the sexes. And one global institution is well positioned to facilitate that work on the local level: the church of Jesus Christ.

Offline, Mixed-Gender, Shared Goal Space

Gen Z young adults often prefer the conveniences of staying at home (on devices) to the oft-uncomfortable dynamics of #IRL community. But curating a like-minded, good-vibes-only online community is a poor substitute for the messy but beautiful formation that happens in the context of embodied communities.

There’s clearly work to do in fostering healthier relationships between the sexes.

A local church provides a space for men and women of different ages and ethnicities to mingle with one another in a diverse but united community of growth. The key to making this “messy” conglomeration work is the shared goal: worshiping Jesus Christ and spurring one another on in the pursuit of Christlike living and gospel mission. When men and women can sing, pray, and hear God’s Word preached side by side, Sunday after Sunday, gender friction gradually gives way to the unity of shared hope, confession, worship, and mission.

For today’s young adults, the mixed-gender experience of church is a beautiful opportunity to grow in the “one anothers” and ultimately come to understand and love the ways God created men and women different yet to complement and bless one another. Men have much to gain from wise sisters and mothers in the church. Sisters have much to gain from wise brothers and fathers. Created to image God (Gen. 1:27), men and women are equal in status before God (Gal. 3:28) and vital in the church’s mission. A healthy local church can be a picture to the world of what gender harmony looks like.

A happy by-product of the mixed-gender church community (though not the primary goal) is that it can be a healthy place for singles to find godly mates. I’ve led small groups where single young adults met, started dating, and got married. My wife and I have discipled several young couples who met in church and went on to get married. Some of our greatest joys in ministry have been seeing the origins and progression of marital unions that take root in the context of a local church.

Healthier Models of Manhood and Womanhood

Part of healthier cross-gender relationships is a better understanding of one’s own gender. Men and women inevitably clash when their ideas of manhood and womanhood are malformed by gender agitators online who emphasize stereotypes, zero-sum power dynamics, and a “war” between the sexes.

A healthy local church can be a picture to the world of what gender harmony can look like.

Instead of gaining a sense of womanhood from the man-bashing anthems of pop stars, or of manhood from misogynists like Andrew Tate, men and women in the local church can see gender lived out in the flesh by godly people in mundane contexts (family, home, work, volunteering). Instead of an online world where gender is a “discourse” (and usually a partisan, adversarial discourse), embodied local life in the nuclear family and in a church family provides a forum where gender is simply lived, and modeled, in the context of shared rhythms and common goals.

Importantly, this happens both in the church’s mixed-gender forums—especially shared worship, Bible study, and prayer—and in gender-specific ministries, gatherings, and mentorship. Churches should be places where men and women can demystify and learn from the “other” as well as come to know their own gender better through men-to-men and women-to-women discipleship. The church can be a safe place for fostering healthy relationships between men and women but also for men to grow and be shaped among men and women among women. Among other things, these interactions will show us that not everyone of the same gender looks and acts the same. Contrary to the narrow stereotypes of algorithms and stifling confines of echo chambers, “manhood” and “womanhood” are multifaceted concepts and diversely expressed—even as they are two distinct things that are not, by God’s good design, fluidly interchangeable.

Be Thou (Our) Vision

When I look at my social media feeds, so much of what I see between men and women is ugly acrimony and compounding distrust. When I look around at church on Sundays or in my midweek small group, what I see is much more encouraging.

I see men and women singing corporately with hands raised, the different tones of their lower and higher voices creating beautiful harmony: “Be Thou my vision, O Lord of my heart, Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art . . .”

In Christ, men and women are bound by the same Thou. Our common object of love fuels mutuality and harmony.

I see this shared vision in the eyes of men and women in my church as they eagerly scribble notes during sermons or ask questions in small groups. I see this shared vision in their passionate prayers for one another, in their service of one another, in their forbearance with one another.

Are you feeling the gender acrimony of our age? Have you been hurt by a member of the opposite sex? Join a healthy church and stick with it, even if it’s uncomfortable at first. Take advantage of the mixed-gender and single-gender gatherings at your church. Seek out opportunities to serve alongside, pray for, and interact socially with churchgoers of the opposite sex. If you’re a single young adult, maybe ask an older, faithfully married couple in the church to mentor you. Develop a close group of same-gender friends in the church—maybe you could even be roommates—who model godliness and healthy expressions of gender to one another, including group interactions with the opposite sex.

There are lots of ways local church life can help bridge the gender gap, though it won’t happen overnight. But over time, as the Holy Spirit ministers to you through the gifts of both sexes and as you bow with your brothers and sisters before the “Thou” of your common vision, the breach will begin to repair.