Every Thursday morning, a group of moms meets at our church. We call it “playgroup,” as if it were for the good of the children, but, really, it’s for the moms. It’s our chance to laugh, to drink coffee, to share stories. The night before, we text one another a reminder: “Playgroup tomorrow, 10 a.m. See you there!” But when Thursday morning comes, we’re never all there on time. One by one, long past 10, we each straggle in, explanations on our lips:
“I was all set to walk out the door, but my youngest tripped on the stairs.”
“I would have been here earlier, but I had to run my teenager’s lunch to the school.”
“This was the week I was going to be on time, but the 2-year-old decided not to sleep last night.”
We offer these excuses as if the situations were unexpected, but this week’s disruption is basically the same as last week’s. If it’s not a forgotten lunch box, it’s lost gym clothes. If it’s not a bruised knee, it’s spilled Cheerios. If it’s not nightmares, it’s temper tantrums. Truly, it’s always something.
Motherhood is never what we predicted, and yet, somehow, we’re still surprised every time.
Motherhood is never what we predicted, and yet, somehow, we’re still surprised every time.
In addition to the everyday disruptions that can challenge even the most organized of moms, our lives are also rerouted by more significant circumstances. From navigating special needs to loving rebellious teens, we adjust our expectations for motherhood again and again.
These aren’t experiences unique to the moms in my church. All mothers have had days and years that looked nothing like they planned.
Mary’s Unexpected Motherhood
Perhaps better than most, Jesus’s mother, Mary, knew the unexpected upheavals of motherhood. She was an unmarried virgin when an angel appeared and announced her pregnancy, and her life as a mom didn’t get any more predictable from there.
Soon after Jesus’s birth, motherhood put Mary’s life in danger and forced her to emigrate to a foreign country (Matt. 2:13–15). Later, she searched for three anxious days for her preteen who’d been in the temple all along (Luke 2:41–51). Over the course of 30 years, she pondered the mystery of her son’s identity (Luke 2:19, 51), witnessed his miracles (John 2:1–12), and reckoned with her place as just one mother among many in her son’s eternal family (Matt. 12:46–50).
Motherhood was nothing Mary could have anticipated.
At the worst moment of Mary’s motherhood, Jesus provided a family and a future for her.
In the final hours of Jesus’s earthly life, Mary experienced the greatest sorrow of motherhood. She stood at the cross as soldiers gambled for her son’s clothing and the grave waited for his life. But in the hour of her son’s death, she was not abandoned: “When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, ‘Woman, behold your son!’ Then he said to the disciple, ‘Behold your mother!’” (John 19:26–27). From the cross, Jesus took notice of her and cared for her. At the worst moment of her motherhood, he provided a family and a future for her.
Jesus, What a Friend for Mothers
Dear sister, this same Jesus cares for you in the struggles of your own motherhood. When upheavals overtake you and you stand, helpless, at the foot of his cross, he will show you the same tender care he showed Mary. He will give you a family in his church and a future in his heavenly kingdom. What’s more, he will give you his very self—broken for your sins and raised for your new life.
The Scriptures are full of refreshment for struggling moms. They remind you it’s OK to weep at the cross for the sorrows motherhood has brought you, but they also lift your eyes to the Savior who suffered on the cross for you. As you experience the unexpected, remember that, in Jesus Christ, we have a faithful friend and a Savior for sinners. He is the “sure and steadfast anchor of the soul” (Heb. 6:19), and, in him, we have the comfort and hope we need.
This article is adapted from Megan Hill’s foreword to God Is Still Good: Gospel Hope and Comfort for the Unexpected Sorrows of Motherhood by Katie Faris (TGC/Crossway, January 2023). Used here by permission.
Involved in Women’s Ministry? Add This to Your Discipleship Tool Kit.
We need one another. Yet we don’t always know how to develop deep relationships to help us grow in the Christian life. Younger believers benefit from the guidance and wisdom of more mature saints as their faith deepens. But too often, potential mentors lack clarity and training on how to engage in discipling those they can influence.
Whether you’re longing to find a spiritual mentor or hoping to serve as a guide for someone else, we have a FREE resource to encourage and equip you. In Growing Together: Taking Mentoring Beyond Small Talk and Prayer Requests, Melissa Kruger, TGC’s vice president of discipleship programming, offers encouraging lessons to guide conversations that promote spiritual growth in both the mentee and mentor.
