My leadership journey began as the firstborn with two younger sisters. I held their hands to cross the street and told them what to do. I can’t remember a time when I didn’t feel responsible for people or for advancing ideas. In college, my friends called me the go-to girl—“If you want something done, go to Karen.” I fed on the verbal affirmation of my external giftedness, but eventually, this revealed a vacuum of internal substance.
The years brought many up-front leadership opportunities at school and church, eventually culminating in a vocation in women’s ministry. Along the way, I realized I wasn’t leading anyone when I functioned as the go-to girl. When I tried to do it all, I wasn’t focusing on the primary goal of servant leadership—making disciples.
Eventually, my immature leadership made me a desperate leader. I ran to Jesus, praying, “Help me rest in you and place my confidence in your record of righteousness. Forgive me for relying on my own strength and abilities.” Thankfully, God’s power is made perfect in weak, needy, and dependent leaders (2 Cor. 12:9).
As I sought to grow as a servant leader, I had to confront my misguided notions of what leadership should look like, and I came to recognize common pitfalls we can stumble into as women’s ministry leaders.
Misconceptions and Motivations
When I tried to do it all, I wasn’t focusing on the primary goal of servant leadership—making disciples.
Most of us have taken our ideas about leadership from culture or the corporate world. But biblical leadership is radically different. It’s not synonymous with authority or decision-making. It has little to do with a title or a role. It’s upside down. It holds within it the potential to be life-giving or life-taking. Biblical leadership is servant leadership, and servant leadership isn’t a popular methodology—it’s a glorious invitation to become more like Jesus.
While there’s no formula for servant leadership, I offer four personal pitfalls I’ve had to repent of to the Lord and others over the years.
1. Position-Oriented
Position-oriented leadership is shaped by the leader’s title rather than by the group’s purposes. I was young when I started in women’s ministry, and I naively compensated for my lack of experience by finding power in my official position or title. I was rarely team-focused or collaborative in my approach because, in pride, I thought I knew better. Usually, when a hierarchical culture exists, structure trumps leadership development, and the leader lacks outside perspective and accountability.
2. Personality-Driven
Personality-driven leadership revolves around the leader’s strengths. I fancied myself an extrovert who loved the sound of my own voice. You don’t know you’ve fostered a territorial spirit about “your ministry” until someone tries to suggest a new person or plan. My insecurity and pride meant others had few opportunities to offer ideas or use their gifts. I didn’t know I’d fostered this type of leadership until I moved to a new church, and I got a phone call from a member of my former church saying, “We’re not sure how we’ll move forward without you; no one is stepping up to lead as you did.” That’s a big leadership red flag.
3. Consumer-Based
Consumer-based leadership is fueled by the demands of the people we serve. At first glance, taking a survey at the beginning of a ministry year seems like a good idea. Let’s listen and make plans to give the women what they want. A hard-earned leadership lesson is that you can’t please everyone. Fulfilling this consumeristic approach is exhausting and impossible. We’re tempted to make decisions based on felt needs or the latest, hottest trend, rather than providing the gospel classroom that’ll foster spiritual formation. Ultimately, God’s glory and purposes take a back seat to trying to meet the desires of individuals and special interest groups.
4. Productivity-Motivated
Productivity-motivated leadership prioritizes tasks before people. My clipboard and pen are never out of reach. I like to make a list and check every box. People might pat me on the back for getting things done, but efficiency should never trump community and discipleship. I’ve often fallen prey to the hamster-wheel idol of producing bigger and better results. Who has time to delegate when it seems quicker and more effective to do it myself? This leadership posture is fueled by perpetual forward motion, so we often overlook opportunities to witness God’s grace and the Spirit’s work.
Leadership That Lasts
Leadership has everything to do with where we fix our eyes. Are your eyes fixed on Christ and making disciples, or are other pressing matters and motivations distracting you? Fruitful women’s ministry leadership invests in the only two things in life that last forever: God’s Word and God’s people.
A servant leader lifts the eyes of those following her to Christ and sacrificially leads them in light of eternity. Life-giving servant leadership is the sacred, holy privilege of participating with the Spirit’s transformative work in those we get to serve as we walk them home.
Involved in Women’s Ministry? Add This to Your Discipleship Tool Kit.
We need one another. Yet we don’t always know how to develop deep relationships to help us grow in the Christian life. Younger believers benefit from the guidance and wisdom of more mature saints as their faith deepens. But too often, potential mentors lack clarity and training on how to engage in discipling those they can influence.
Whether you’re longing to find a spiritual mentor or hoping to serve as a guide for someone else, we have a FREE resource to encourage and equip you. In Growing Together: Taking Mentoring Beyond Small Talk and Prayer Requests, Melissa Kruger, TGC’s vice president of discipleship programming, offers encouraging lessons to guide conversations that promote spiritual growth in both the mentee and mentor.
