I used to end my prayers by telling God, “I love you.” I don’t anymore. That change has significantly affected my prayer life—and my relationship with him—for good.
Given Jesus’s stunning teaching that we must humble ourselves like children to receive the kingdom of God (Matt. 18:3–4), it’s no surprise how much I’ve learned about that kingdom by watching loving parents interact with their treasured kids.
Good parents love their children before it can be reciprocated. They love before their children could even try to earn the right to receive it. And they assure their children of that love constantly.
Our heavenly Father, infinitely more, has always been loving us first—not only from before the time we could reciprocate it but from before the beginning of time itself, with an everlasting love (Jer. 31:3). This truth made me realize we’re only ever telling him, “I love you too,” because he’s already declared and proven his love for us.
Stopping at ‘I Love You’
It’s not wrong to tell God, “I love you.” David even does it in Psalm 18:1: “I love you, LORD, my strength.” But when I stopped at “I love you,” my heart could pridefully assume I was the one initiating a relationship (or at least a conversation) as I approached God’s throne, or that his love was a response to the love I’d dutifully mustered up for him.
Acknowledging God’s initiating love humbles us. We didn’t choose him. He chose us (John 15:16). We only love because he first loved us (1 John 4:19). Every declaration of our love for him is only a fractional return on his vast love that draws us to himself. The immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ humble us into gratitude for that unmerited love (Eph. 2:7)—a love without which I couldn’t even love him in return.
God’s initiating love humbles us. We didn’t choose him. He chose us.
When I stopped at “I love you,” I could feel the insecurity of banking my salvation on my fickle love for him rather than on his steadfast love for me. But God’s initiation anchors us securely as adopted children (1 John 3:1). God hasn’t only declared his love for us but has proven it in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Rom. 5:8). He brought home his rebellious and distant prodigal sons (Luke 15:11–32).
To be in Christ is to be rooted and established in this love (Eph. 3:17). It’s longer, deeper, wider, and higher than we could fathom (v. 18). But to know it, even as it paradoxically surpasses knowledge, is to be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God (v. 19). Our confidence in God’s love for us isn’t based on philosophies, ideals, or unsubstantiated hopes. His love was proven by the historical event of the cross—the love of God made manifest (1 John 4:9)—and nothing can separate God’s elect from it (Rom. 8:38–39).
Irresistible Response
Adding on that three-letter word reminds me that loving God in return is the only rational response to a stunning love I’ve already received.
When the eyes of our hearts are enlightened to God’s steadfast love, we see that not loving him in return would be no less egregious than refusing a wedding proposal from the only true love of our life. It should be as heart-wrenching as seeing a cherished child scorning the genuine, faithful, caretaking love of a kind parent.
This brings an irresistibility to every biblical command to love the Lord our God—our Maker, Sustainer, Redeemer, Provider, and Savior—who himself is love (1 John 4:8). Refusing that love and refusing to return it is the same as refusing our highest good and deepest joy, to our own hard-hearted detriment.
Commissioned to Love Others
The reminder of that three-letter word has powerful implications not only for our own lives but for those around us.
Our good news, the gospel, begins with the declaration that God so loved the world (John 3:16). It’s the kindness of his love that leads us to repentance (Rom. 2:4), and it’s the kindest thing we could do to share his love with others—to love as those who’ve been born of God, who know God, and whose lives demonstrate that love is from God (1 John 4:7).
Because God so loved us, we ought to love one another (1 John 4:11; Matt. 22:36-40; Rom. 13:8; Gal. 5:14) in the hopes they too will repent and live to reciprocate his proven love for them.
His Love Has Always Been Coming for Us
From the beginning of time, God has demonstrated his love for us through every good and perfect gift (James 1:17).
We sense his love in the reality that, by no effort of our own, our hearts are still beating, our blood is still pumping, and our world is still spinning on its axis at the perfect angle and distance from the sun.
We sense God’s love in the reality that our hearts are still beating, our blood is still pumping, and our world is still spinning on its axis at the perfect angle and distance from the sun.
We sense it in the way he puts his eternal power and divine nature on display that we might perceive him (Rom. 1:20) in the expanses of galaxies proclaiming his handiwork (Ps. 19:1), the grandeur of towering mountains and ocean floors, and the billions of unique fingerprints certifying our authenticity as original designs.
We sense it through loving relationships: the grace-filled faithfulness of a spouse, the sacrificial caretaking of a parent, the trusting embrace of a child, the compassionate companionship of a friend, and the edifying witness of Christian brothers and sisters spurring us on to run (Heb. 10:24–25).
We sense it most of all in the living, breathing, active words of the God who has always been coming for us (2 Tim. 3:16; Heb. 4:12): walking in the garden, blazing in a bush, speaking in dreams, leading by fire, raising up deliverers, dwelling in a tabernacle, fighting his people’s battles, taking on flesh, establishing his church, and preparing a place to dwell with us forever.
This is why it no longer feels right to tell my heavenly Father, “I love you.” At least, it doesn’t feel right to stop there. I now say, “I love you too.” And it makes me love him all the more.
Involved in Women’s Ministry? Add This to Your Discipleship Tool Kit.
We need one another. Yet we don’t always know how to develop deep relationships to help us grow in the Christian life. Younger believers benefit from the guidance and wisdom of more mature saints as their faith deepens. But too often, potential mentors lack clarity and training on how to engage in discipling those they can influence.
Whether you’re longing to find a spiritual mentor or hoping to serve as a guide for someone else, we have a FREE resource to encourage and equip you. In Growing Together: Taking Mentoring Beyond Small Talk and Prayer Requests, Melissa Kruger, TGC’s vice president of discipleship programming, offers encouraging lessons to guide conversations that promote spiritual growth in both the mentee and mentor.
