In April 1933, with international tensions escalating, US Ambassador to Germany William E. Dodd discovered that many of his confidential messages were being leaked and used as gossip against him. Outraged, Dodd writes a letter to his superior, outlining his frustrations and concerns. Intending to hand the letter to him in person, he had the opportunity to let the embers cool a bit. Dodd decided not to deliver the letter after all. Instead, it was filed with other papers labeled “undelivered.”
Do you have a file of undelivered emails, texts, letters, or conversations?
On more than one occasion, I wish I had set a matter aside to let it breathe before responding. Can you relate?
The convenience of communication enables quick, fiery responses. But biblical wisdom beckons us to let the cursor blink before hitting “send.” Likely, we’d all benefit from a growing undelivered file.
With our speech, we have great potential for blessing, but at the same time, we can do a lot of damage (James 3). Think of the security around a nuclear power plant. These locations generate massive amounts of energy, but they also must be heavily guarded to protect against attacks that could cause radioactive contamination. With our speech, we are commanded to guard our mouths because the vehicle for blessing can become an instrument of destruction in a moment.
The convenience of communication enables quick, fiery responses. But biblical wisdom beckons us to let the cursor blink before hitting send.
This is why the Psalmist cries out to the Lord, “Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!” (Psalm 141:3) Seeing the potential for blessing and destruction, the wise man acknowledges the vulnerability and seeks outside help. Do you pray for a guard over your mouth?
In addition to praying for help, sometimes it’s wise just to keep our mouths closed. The Bible reminds us of the path of wisdom, “Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding.” (Proverbs 17:27)
The path of wisdom has footprints of restraint. It’s the idea of holding back or keeping back. There’s an intentional restriction of what is said. This is the self-control that knows that sometimes it’s better to be slow to speak (James 1:19) or even not to speak (or text, or email, or post).
When thinking about responding to something or someone, I ask myself if I’m angry. If I’m angry, then it’s an automatic “no.” If I’m angry, I will likely stir up more strife (Prov. 10:12; 15:18). There needs to be time to cool off before engaging.
I also find it helpful to pray. When praying, I often find that the Lord turns my perspective to see things a little differently. I’m repeatedly reminded of his sovereignty, providence, goodness, and grace. I’m reminded of my sinfulness, tendency to selfishness, and unreasonable sensitivity. When praying, it’s like I’m a child bringing a big knot in my sneakers to my dad, and he unties it with such speed that I don’t even realize it. Like nothing else, the Lord calms my anger, soothes my fears, and sharpens my focus through prayer. Instead of venting anger, take it to the Lord. He has a way of working on us through prayer. Skipping this step often leads to regrettable words.
Finally, I ask myself how the gospel informs my current reaction. In the grand scheme of things, is this thing–whatever it is–worth getting this worked up about? Am I responding to this like someone who is the worst sinner I know and has been shown infinite grace? Am I drowning out the gospel song with my reaction?
When you find yourself tempted to respond to something that outrages you quickly, let the cursor blink. Spend some time praying, reflecting, and thinking. And as you do, you might just find that you have an expanding file labeled “undelivered.”
