Unity matters. Christ prayed his church would be marked by it. Yet disunity among Christians abounds, and it’s not always civil in tone. With the Bible’s clear admonitions about foolish controversies and quarreling, how can we know when a fight is worth having? Jen Wilkin offers a framework for diagnosing how to pick your battles and how to conduct yourself when a battle is worth the fight.
Transcript
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Jen Wilkin: Good afternoon. How’s everybody doing? My name is Jen Wilkin. I am an author and Bible teacher from the Dallas area. And I am so excited to be at this conference with you and excited to get to our breakout content, fighting good fights, I have to tell you, I submitted my notes for this session to the gospel coalition. Last Friday afternoon and Friday evening, watched a documentary with my daughter that made me so angry that I texted to friends. So let them know how angry I was and was formulating how I was going to put an angry response out somewhere and suddenly realized that the Lord was about to teach me a lesson. And so I come to you today as the chiefest of sinners on the idea of how to fight well, and praying that we can all find a little light together as we talked about the idea today.
How many of you in this room can think back over just the last six months and think of a time where you fought something that was not a good fight, where you entered into a fractious conversation in a way that you later looked back on and didn’t feel good about? Can we just have a show of hands? Okay, praise God. And also shame on you all? No, seriously, I’m so glad to not be alone in this. But these are difficult times to navigate. And we know that in Jesus high priestly prayer, he prayed that we would be one. He prayed for unity. And as we look at a world around us that is increasingly disinterested in unity, that thinks that individualism is the highest good that can be sought. The Church of all places should be known for our ability to share the most important things in common, and be able to agree to disagree on the things that are of secondary or tertiary importance. If you are familiar with my ministry, you know that I am committed to Bible literacy. And I am committed to Bible literacy for many reasons. And here is a big one. I think that knowing our Bibles helps us to live at peace with one another, I think that it is or at least it should be a unity builder. But what we often find is people using the Bible against one another within the household of God. And so one of the questions that I hope we can look at as we talk about fighting good fights is how does the Bible build unity among the body of Christ? Or how should it How bad are things? I mean, they’re pretty bad.
My whole Instagram account is centered around posting pictures of my dogs because I don’t know how to be a social media influencer, and I don’t have the energy to learn how and so fairly recently, a woman had said to me via direct message Jen, can you please explain to my small group that my dog will be in heaven? And I laughingly screenshotted this and put it on my Instagram story and said Would it be quicker for me to explain to you that you need a new small group? I am hilarious. And I posted that exchange and people lost their minds. Jen I’m so disappointed in you which this is the new currency right on social media is that people are hashtag disappointed as we very quickly enter into a season in our culture of honor shame coming into full blossom right? It’s not I disagree with you it’s shame on you. Hashtag disappointed they were hashtag disappointed in me because Scripture is clear that and then fill in the blank right? Because a simple joke about whether dogs were going to be in heaven and they are made them very upset. Imago doggy anyone? We are losing our ability to laugh things off. We are losing our ability to take a well intentioned joke. We are losing our ability to not take ourselves quite so seriously. And I think that is a loss To take the right things seriously, and to let the other things roll off. Maybe you don’t like my dog humor, it’s cool, you could just keep going. I think that many people believe that if we just knew our Bibles better, we would all agree, we would all agree about every doctrinal or interpretive issue. But I think that church history would indicate that this is not so. And the problem is, are not the toilet as a problem. It’s not that the Bible is not clear. If you’re familiar with the doctor scription, you know that the Bible is clear in its communication.
But the problem is that we do not always understand it clearly. We do not always understand it clearly. Because we come to the Bible with different lenses with faulty lenses. One of those might just be that we have a limited knowledge of what the Bible teaches as a whole, which is why it’s so important for us to do our best to labor for understanding from beginning to end what the Scriptures have to say. So many of us today are more familiar with the New Testament, and almost totally unfamiliar with the Old Testament, which means that we’re actually not that familiar with the New Testament, because the New Testament is drawing on so many Old Testament truths. And so often in the wars that occur on social media, or even in churches themselves, it’s people cherry picking a particular verse and using it to weaponize an argument instead of understanding how there’s a bigger issue a broader overarching issue that might speak to any particular verses being pulled out. So sometimes we come with limited knowledge. But we also can come with our own set of presuppositions things that we believe to be true that we then impose upon the text, an example of a presupposition would be something like, sometimes you’ll hear people give reasons for why the Red Sea was parted, right? And they’ll say, well, there was just like, there’s really strong wind, that blue and it fit, you know, and I’m like, What are we doing when we’re, I mean, can’t we just say, God did it and move on, or like the plague is, you know, the Nile turned to blood? Well, it wasn’t really blood, it was like an algal bloom that happened in the Nile River. And so that would be an example of a presupposition bringing, bringing it to the text and saying, there must have been something else going on from a scientific standpoint, and those are presuppositions that would say that the miraculous work of God can be removed from a particular story.
Another lens that we might bring would just be our life experience, our life experience can color the way that we read the scriptures. Now, in some ways, our life experience should color the ways that we read scripture, but an example of how it should not would be, for example, if you had a very angry father that you grew up with, and that meant that it was hard for you to understand God as a loving father. Now, it is not wrong, that your life experience might bring you to the text in that way. But to be able to work through that and understand that my experience of the world does not determine reality, it might shape the way I step into reality, but doesn’t determine it. Sometimes it’s just a lack of context that makes us view the Bible with faulty lenses. Sometimes it’s an unwillingness to submit to a hard teaching that requires repentance. And so we have to find a way to work around a difficult doctrine because it’s hitting a little too close to home. It’s asking a little too much of us, you know, easiest example of this is the Christian sexual ethic, right? Sometimes it’s a simplistic view of how the Bible gives us wisdom. Everybody knows or I hope you know that in James James exhorts us, he says, if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God who gives to all liberally without finding fault. But we tend to think of wisdom that comes from God as being something that we asked for, and it just plunks on our heads. But sometimes it might be like that, but I think more often than not, we ask the Lord for wisdom. And then he sets up a marvelous set of circumstances that push that wisdom down into us. Anybody had that experience? Like, oh, shoot, I did ask for wisdom. But I really meant just the kind that falls out of the sky, not the kind that I have to learn the hard way such as I did last Friday afternoon. The thing is, is biblical wisdom is not like a diet pill that you take to lose weight. It’s more like a workout program that you do to get more fit. It’s not a pill we pop it’s a muscle we develop.
And so one of the key ways that I have learned to identify whether someone is flexing a muscle or popping a pill, is by how often they use that phrase, Scripture is clear that fill in the blank around a topic that for centuries, people have not thought scripture was clear. And right that’s usually a good indicator. And it’s also usually a pretty clear indicator to me that someone is repeating something they heard someone else say In my own church, we have done a lot of work around some of the issues that people would say Scripture is clear on. And what we found in most cases on those secondary or tertiary issues is that getting closer to the issue gave us sometimes less clarity than it did more. And we ended up landing conviction only where we could according to conscience, and then building out a system that could be consistent and its practice. The things that Scripture is clear on are the things that we hold in the closed fist of orthodoxy. Right. Now, again, Scripture is clear. But we’re coming to it with various lenses. And we don’t all agree on what is clear all of the time. That’s why those things that are in the closed fist of org, orthodoxy are so important. And we look around the church today, I’m in leadership at my own church.
And so I did walk through the pandemic, hearing from all all people on all things, and anybody else on a church staff or involved enough to know what that was like. In any given week, we were either too liberal or too conservative, or we were the same thing. At the same time. People were angry about race, they were angry about immigration, they were angry about politics, masks, vaccines, you name it, it was an obstacle course that no one could get through without taking some hits. And that’s okay. That’s what church leadership is, it is taking some hits. And my theory is that because people could not lash out at the school system, or they could not lash out at the government, they took out some of their frustrations on the people that they could lash out. And that was us, that was leadership in the local church. And that’s okay, we can absorb that kind of thing. But it was fascinating to try to come up with whatever that particular week’s response needed to be to whoever was yelling from one side or the other on any particular issue. And it was in the midst of this, that we began putting together a study on the book of Romans, For our men’s and women’s Bible studies. And I thought to myself, when I hit Romans, chapter 14, there’s nothing new under the sun. Praise God, the Lord has given provision for fractious times, and for difficulties between brothers and sisters, who very much want to serve one god with its with a consistent witness. So would you turn with me to Romans, chapter 14, where we can look at a church that was facing problems that are probably bigger than your church is facing today. If you are familiar with the book of Romans, you will know that the original audience is the church at Rome, Paul is writing to them. And they’re under a unique set of circumstances. The church was initially Jewish Christians. And then under a persecution that happened those Jewish Christians were pushed out of the area of Rome, and the Gentile believers who were still there were the main makeup of the church for a number of years. When persecution died down, there was an influx again of Jewish Christians back into a church that was now predominantly Gentile believers, which means that you have people who are cultural Jews trying to observe as much of the Old Testament law as they can. And then you have Gentiles who are like, I’m sorry, you can’t eat what why? Wait, you can’t, you can’t do this on this certain day. Or you can only take so many steps in a particular day, like, where is all that coming from? And so you had these two distinct groups of people both wanting to serve the Lord and wanting to do it together very much and apparently, it didn’t always go well.
So let’s look at Romans chapter 14, starting in verse one and see what Paul has to instruct the man. He says, As for the one who is weak in faith, welcome him but not to quarrel over opinions. One person believes he made anything while the weak person eats only vegetables, can I get a witness? I’m just kidding. Guys, veggies are great. Let not the one who eats despise the one who abstains and let not the one who abstains pass judgment on the one who eats for God has welcomed him, Who are you to pass judgment on the servant of another, it is before his own master that he stands or falls and he will be upheld, For the Lord is able to make him stand. Let’s stop right there. We’ll go on further through the passage in just a minute. But let’s see what Paul has already said to this church of two very distinct groups who are apparently having trouble with quarreling over opinions, opinions about what you should eat or what you shouldn’t eat. Now, when he says, As for the one who is weak in faith in verse one, he does not mean saving faith. He means conviction, the one who is weak in a particular conviction, he says that that person is to be welcomed. Now, when you think of a person who is weak and conviction, you probably think of someone who is unsure of what they feel convicted about. But that is not actually what Paul is pointing out because look what he says in verse two, he says one person believes he may eat anything, while the what? Week person eats only veg, you guys are not talking to me. I know you just had lunch, but let’s try it again. Did you just have veggies for lunch? Okay, one person believes he made anything while the what week person eats only vegetables. Okay, so then the strong person believes he may eat anything. And the weak person believes he may eat only vegetables. Do you see what Paul has just done? He is showing us that often. The one who is the weaker brother is the one with the stronger conviction. Do you hear it? A stronger conviction to a second order or third order issue may actually be a sign of weakness. Now that person typically thinks they are the stronger brother, right? And that’s the irony of anytime you start talking about the stronger rather than the weaker brothers. You’re like, oh, you know where I see myself in this. Me strong, you weak? And so I think reading this helps us to acknowledge that all of us in some area who in here has a hot sports opinion on something? Guess what? In that you are more than likely the weaker brother, not the stronger brother, other people are bearing with you in your weakness in the moment that you feel that you don’t believe me, do you? Okay, well, let’s keep going. I will wear you down.
And he says in verse three, let not the one who eats so the one who does not have the stronger conviction Let not the one who eats despise the one who abstains and let not the one who abstains pass judgment on the one who eats. Now, in some sense, the despising in the passing judgment on that you see in this passage are interchangeable terms. But I think what we can also see is a little bit of a progression here that we go from quarreling in verse one, two despising in verse three, to passing judgment in verse at the end of verse three. And isn’t that actually how this works? First, you start to have that quarrelsome pneus go well up in you, and then you begin to think about that person with whom you are quarreling. I don’t really like that person very much. And despising is actually a stronger feeling than dislike. Other translations will say in this in its place, to treat with contempt, to look down on to be little, or to criticize, let not the one who eats belittle the one who abstained or criticize the one who abstains or treat with contempt, the one who abstained or looked down on the one who abstains. If you’re a person with a food allergy in here, you may be able to relate to this example a little better than some of the rest of us. I have a daughter who in law who has a food allergy, imagine if I decided that food allergies were not a thing, or that I think it’s overhyped. And so when she came over for dinner, I decided to just go ahead and feed her what I was feeding to the rest of us because we should all be unified around my menu. Not only would that be terrible for my relationship with my daughter in law, who’s a delightful human, it would be actually dangerous for her. And so those of us who are stronger bear with those who are weaker, because we care for them, it is a sign of care for them. So quarreling can lead to despising which is an X an exhibition of contempt which Jesus has words about in the Sermon on the amount, which then leads to passing judgment, passing judgment.
Verse four, who are you to pass judgment on the servant of another? What does Paul mean by that? When he says, it is before his own master that he stands or falls which Master is he referring to? The Lord? This person will answer to the Lord that’s what he’s saying. Now one thing that is encouraging to see about these concerns about food laws here because what are they worried about? Some are okay with eating food that has been sacrificed to idols because it would be sacrificed in the pagan temples that were there in Rome, and then waste not want not they would go sell that food in the marketplace to anyone who wanted to buy it. And so you can imagine that these Jewish Christians first century Jewish Christians are like, I cannot do that. I would rather eat veggie stew every day than eat the meat that’s been sacrificed to idols and the Gentile believers are like, I think it’s really okay. We didn’t sacrifice this need to idols. And Paul, I think is very intentionally casting that group and the role of the Stronger brother in this particular instance, because in the minds of the Jews, it would have been reversed. But the good news is they’re eating together. The church at Rome is finding ways to have shared tables with one another. Now it’s not going great, but they have not grown weary of meeting together as some do. They’re still fighting for unity with one another. And I often think that one of the reasons that we are not good with Unity right now is because we are having these kinds of quarrels with people we never share a table with. And can I just tell you, social media is not a table that I just get a preach. I’m sorry, I’m a Southern Baptist, and therefore do not preach.
Here’s the thing we have to keep in mind, God is more concerned with your righteousness than your rights. God is more concerned with your righteousness than your rights. But we’re in America, not all of us. The rest of you. Good luck. Around here. It’s what I get to do, and what matters to me. And when you’re more concerned with your individual rights and their preservation than you are with your righteousness, and this will sometimes require the laying down of your rights for the good of others or for the sake of unity. This church can devolve into a fractious place of quarreling, despising, and passing of judgment. It is not that our rights do not matter. It’s just that sometimes we are so attached to them at the expense of other things, that it just doesn’t go well. And unity begins to be eroded. So he goes on in verse five was moved through this pretty quickly, but it’s another example of something that they were wrestling through. He says one person esteems, one day is better than another while another esteem is all days alike. Each one should be what fully convinced in his own mind.
Let’s try it again lunch crowd, each one should be fully convinced in his own mind. The one who observes the day honors it observes it in honor of the Lord, the one who eats eats in honor of the Lord since he gives thanks to God, while the one who abstains, abstains, and honor the Lord He gives thanks to God, for none of us lives to himself. None of us lives to himself, and none of us dies to himself. For if we live, we live to the Lord. And if we die, we die to the Lord. So then whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s. For to this end, Christ died and lived again that he might be Lord of both the dead and of the living. firsthand, why do you pass judgment on your brother? Or you? Why do you despise your brother for we will all stand before the judgment seat of God, for it is written, as I live says the Lord, every knee shall bow to me and every tongue shall confess to God, so then each of us will give an account of himself to God. So if you want to think about individualism, think about that you the individual will give account of yourself to God, which is why on matters of secondary or tertiary importance, we need to be asking the question, can I give an account to God? Is that how I frame this up? Is that how I’m thinking about it. But what we seem to be seeing here is that it’s possible to act according to our conscience without being a problem for someone else. So look at verse 13. Therefore, oh, that’s the word we love. In light of all of these things that I’ve just said, What does he say therefore, let us not pass judgment on one another, any longer, but rather say this next word with me decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother? Do you hear the action of the will that is involved here? Apparently, it is possible to decide not to be a jerk. There is a decision process that we might go through where we do not act like jerks to one another. This is an interesting Old Testament reference here decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother. He’s He’s quoting loosely quoting Leviticus 1914. Now listen to this.
As you’re listening, imagine that there would be a need for a law like the one I’m just going to read you. Here’s Leviticus 1914. You shall not curse the deaf or put a stumbling block before the blind. You had to write that down. You shall not curse the deaf or put a stumbling block before the blind. In other words, there are those among us who are weaker, who need us to take special care for their spiritual health. Is that how we regard ourselves as part of the body of believers? Don’t curse the death, they can’t hear you and you’re saying all these horrible things about them, don’t put a stumbling block in front of the blind, they can’t see what’s coming, and you’re gonna trip them up. And I actually think that even though this law must have had some literal application at the time, that it has so much spiritual application for us now, doesn’t it? What are you doing when you are going around and spreading a rumor about someone who can’t hear what you’re saying? You are cursing the deaf. And that’s what social media is a lot of cursing the deaf. It’s putting a stumbling block before the blind. Someone who perhaps doesn’t see as you see yet because you’re more spiritually mature and what are you going to do? You’re going to call them out instead of carry them along gently. Look at what Paul does not say. He does not say to erase differences, or even to resolve them. He says to rise above them. He does not say to erase them, or resolve them, he says to rise above them. So here’s something that I think that we need to take careful note of Unity does not mean unanimity. Unity does not mean unanimity. We are allowed to have various opinions on various things. What we are not allowed to do is quarrel about them, if they are not essential to the gospel. Unity means tolerance and forbearance. When we differ on disputable matters. We can differ but we must not dispute. And a big part of this happening among the body of believers is that we would assume the best of others in our disagreements that we would assume the best of others. So yeah, back to that Bible literacy thing. I think that exposure to God’s word should increase our love for God and for his people. I think that spending more time in the Scripture should increase our love for Him, and for those that he loves. In fact, I would say that it is impossible to grow in love for God, and simultaneously grow in contempt for others.
So if you are spending time in the scriptures, and you find that your contemptuous pneus is growing, instead of your humility, I would ask you is that time in the Scriptures an exercise of a love for God, or an exercise have a love for supporting your own opinions? Sam alberi has said sometimes it’s not truth we love that being right. Both can look Orthodox, but one humbles and one leads to conceit. I want you to think about in the last two years, a decision that you made that you felt really good about, like you’re like, Yep, that was right. Have you got it? Maybe it’s related to politics, maybe it’s related to schooling, maybe it’s any of those things that I mentioned earlier masks, whatever it was, once you think about what your decision was, and you’re like, yep, there were a lot of things I was really confused about. But that one I nailed. You got it. You got it in your head. Now, what is the feeling that you’re feeling right here right now? Is it righteousness? Or is it self righteousness? I can’t answer that for you. But I think it’s a question we should ask more often. Second, Timothy two has some words for us about quarreling that are related to what Paul says in Romans. He says this to Timothy. Second Timothy two starting verse 22. So Flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart, have nothing to do with foolish ignorance controversies, you know that they breed quarrels. Now, let me just before I get a little further in the passage, let me just link these two verses. I believe that Paul is describing this love of controversy as a youthful passion that we should flee. It is a youthful, passionate way to play it is a shame it is a sign of immaturity of spiritual immaturity. If we love a quarrel
says that we are to flee that have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies, you know that they breed quarrels verse 24. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome, a kind to everyone able to teach patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness, God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil after being captured by him to do his will. So I know most of us think like if I want someone to come to their senses, I just need to keep at them with what I think is true. Now, what’s funny to me about this passage is it’s one that I used to write on a note card, I still have the note card and I posted it on my fridge so that I would be the Lord’s servant regarding quarrelsome pneus with my small children.
The Lord’s servant was not be quarrelsome, but kind to everyone, these small children, able to teach patiently enduring evil among these small children, correcting his opponents with gentleness, his tiny opponents, God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses will praise God they did. But I did not want to correct them with gentleness, I wanted to correct them with harshness, because I was right. I was more mature than they were, I’d seen some things and learn some things that they hadn’t. I wonder if there isn’t a way to see our opponents in a quarrel as more like children and less like enemies, and I don’t mean that we should be little them as sort of like less than, but if we saw them as just fully formed humans in the image of God who might be less mature than we are. And we knew that winning in the moment might mean losing in the long term in the way that parents have to come to terms with so often in their homes. Perhaps our tone would be different. disunity, envy, strife, reviling, etc. is a common temptation. But the good news is, if it’s a temptation, then like all temptations that are common to man, the Lord provides a way out. What if we meditated on ways out of this particular form of temptation? It’s hard to visualize, like we think about ways out for other temptations that seem pretty clear and easy like materialism, just don’t go to Target anymore. Like, give more of your money away. The ways out for that can seem a little more straightforward vanity quit looking in the mirror, right? Stop the habits that are feeding your vanity start the habits that are others focus. But when it comes to disunity, and to quarreling and fractiousness, it’s a little harder to see the way out sometimes. So I thought that I would talk you pretty quickly through seven potential ways out, I could have gone with five but why go with five and even go with seven? You’re lucky it’s not 12am I right. First, disagree charitably. Disagree charitably. This is where we assume the best of others in any conversation that we enter into that might be heading toward quarrel. James 119 through 21 has perhaps judged me more harshly than any other passage in scripture. It says My dear brothers and sisters understand this everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to anger for human anger does not accomplish God’s righteousness. Therefore ridding yourselves all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent, humbly receive the implanted word, do you hear it? Receiving the implanted word should generate in us which virtue, humility. If the scriptures are not routinely humbling us, we will use them to build our own pride cross reference. Basically, the forecast gospels right, the Pharisees anytime you are feeling drawn into a controversy, a foolish quarrel, repeat this in your head, quick, slow, slow, quick, slow, slow, quick, slow, slow, quick to listen. That means I am truly listening to hear what your argument or position is not I am waiting for you to finish yapping your flap so that I can tell you what I think. quick to listen doesn’t just mean that you sit patiently and listen, it means that you seek to understand that that is the thing that you cannot wait to do in any conversation. Slow to Speak, how are we dealing with that one? This is the hardest one for me. I’m the person who multiplies words. It’s good for me to know that we’re words are many senators not absent. That’s a good thing for me to reflect on on a regular basis. Not only that, I’m pretty good with words. And so I can get the right words to come out exactly when I need them to and can I tell you, that is where most of the bodies lie fallen behind me, in my history of time in ministry, and even in my personal relationships. It is possible to be too slow to speak. But I find that more often than not, what I can look back on with regret is that I spoke too soon and too much. I can think of a handful of times that I regret not saying something I can think of so many times that I regret having spoken out of turn. Quick, Slow, slow, quick to listen, slow to speak. And this last one slow to become angry. No one else around you is going to value being slow to become angry. It’s like it’s like a cultural marker now that our anger is so quickly stirred. Years ago, I would have taught this with the example of road rage because it was the only one that came readily to mind. Today, I have so many illustrations, I can’t narrow it down. Imagine if we were to opt out of what is so often the reverse of these the way that people operate slow to listen quick to speak quick to become angry. What if we lived in the upside down kingdom that did the opposite. Not only would it build unity among the church, but it would be a city on a hill in a culture that does the exact opposite number to opt out of Kancil culture. We can disagree without despising and passing judgment on one another. We can disagree without despising and passing judgment on one another. If someone disagrees with you, and you decide that you are done with them, and you’re never going to listen to them again. The church loses you lose, we all lose. We must not grow weary of gathering together. opt out of Kancil culture. Number three, confess your leaning, confess your leaning pretty much everybody in this room is either leaning toward fundamentalism or toward progressivism myths just that’s just kind of the way you can feel it. You can feel it in our politics, you can feel it in the discussions that are happening in churches around doctrinal issues. And so borrowing from an article that Al Mohler wrote, he defines the fundamentalist impulse as to the fundamental fundamentalist everything is a first order issue. Okay. And to the progressive, nothing is to the fundamentalist everything is a first order issue. So in other words, if on a secondary issue, someone believes differently than the fundamentalist, they will say, Ah, that’s a slippery slope. If you believe differently on that, then that’s you know, inerrancy is at stake. Do you see what they just did? It is elevated something a lot higher than it needed to be. And then the progressive is not concerned about slippery slopes at all. Right? Like, wow, it’s fine. Now, I’m now I’m overstating things, too. But we must resist the urge to assign either no importance or ultimate importance to disagreements. There is room in the middle for some of these gray matters like that as what Paul is saying. He’s saying there are things that seem crystal clear to some and not clear to others, and you can apparently live in unity with one another if you’re committed to the beauty of unity. So confess your leaning, do you lean more toward fundamentalism or more toward progressivism, which one has the luer for you, and then be aware that you might be filtering any argument through that lens? recognize the difference between a hangnail, a fractured arm and a heart attack? This is what we call theological triage. Right? It means that if someone is irritated about the kind of worship music that’s happening in a church, is that a hangnail or a fractured arm or heart attack? Like if that person came into the emergency room of theological triage? Would you deal with that issue first? Or would you deal with the fact that some people in your church are Unitarians? Right? You would want to get Trinitarian heresy out of your church before you were overly concerned about someone who doesn’t like the lyrics in a particular song? Does it matter which lyrics in a particular song? Yes, but understanding the law level of a particular disagreement helps us to get our temperature right around it and to devote the right amount of energy to it. So do you get it to the fundamentalist everything is a heart attack into the progressive everything is a hangnail.
Number four, diagnose your role in correcting errors, diagnose your role in correcting errors. Ask this question. Is my voice even needed on this topic? Is it helpful on this topic? Is it even valid on this topic? Here’s a pro tip, reading an article about something does not make me an expert in that topic. Right? We are a generation that has unprecedented access to content. And so we live in an age where everyone believes themselves an expert after reading very little and thinking very little about any particular topic. Do I know what I’m talking about, I think would wind up a lot of these. And you can tell by the way it’s like someone will get into an argument and then they go, You know what, I’m just going to send you a link to this video or this article. Right? You’re like, Okay. And so there is a use for doing that there is some usefulness in that. But if the vast majority of your ideas on how to solve or solve articles is sending someone a link to what someone else said, then it might be time for a little bit of intellectual honesty about how invested you’ve actually been in learning not just your own argument, but the argument of the person that you are opposing. So another question in diagnosing your role in correcting errors is, is this the context for me to contribute my thoughts? Is this the context for me to contribute my thoughts? Social media, again, is not a table. And the lack of face to face interaction means that so often we will offer our thoughts in a way that is not filtered enough to be a good representative representation of a Christ follower.
Also, the amount of change that occurs in people’s hearts as a result of going out on social media, maybe the opposite direction of what we have presumed it to be, like, has anyone who in here ever read someone’s rant on social media and went wow, I was so instructed today. Thank you. What you’re probably thinking is like that person has come unhinged. And then you go and do the same thing on your bad day. You know, luckily, I texted two friends and they talked me off the ledge. We’re not also lucky. So the difference between addressing an error or perceived error with someone else in your church or your next door neighbor versus someone that you only experience online, very different, should be weighed with sober mindedness. Number five, diagnose your motive in correcting errors, diagnose your motive in correcting errors. If we humbly receive the Word planted in us, then we will walk in humility about disputable matters. Even if we feel firmly as we so often do, that we are absolutely in the right. And I hope you notice that Paul does not say that you should not feel that you are absolutely in the right. He said each of you should be fully convinced. So be fully convinced, and then deal with one another in love. Number six, be too busy to be quarrelsome. be too busy to be quarrelsome, an idle mind is the devil’s workshop. As the saying goes, Can I urge you have too much good work to do to have time left over for quarrelsome pneus be so busy about the good work of the Kingdom that you forget to be fractious? Imagine what the church would be known for if we were known for being quick to serve instead of quick to speak. Number seven, pray more. pray more. It is very hard to despise and pass judgment on someone that you are actively praying for. So I think it goes without saying that the kind of praying I’m talking about is not in preparatory prayer. In intercede for the person who drives you nuts. Ask the Lord to help you see them the way that he sees them. Ask him to grant you compassion and empathy. Who knows that that person might be drawn toward repentance if they are indeed unrepentant, or at least into a more mature understanding of things, if they are indeed immature. But you will find that your whole disposition toward them is different when you’ve gone to the Lord on their behalf. So back to that Bible literacy question, it is not enough to just know your Bible, although I hope you will. But the question is, is your relationship with the Bible yielding in you the fruit of righteousness, or of self righteousness? Because within the family of believers, it is to the Bible that we will turn when we want to justify our arguments. So just for a quick refresher, what is the fruit of righteousness was the fruit of the Spirit, right? Let’s say I’m ready. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control. And a really great exercise you can do when you’re thinking about a passage like that is to flip it on its head and then you can see the fruit of self righteousness, contempt, rage, conflict, impatience, cruelty, malevolence, falseness, brutality, self indulgence. And I asked you, which one characterizes our culture. I think the real culture war is being fought on this front. All those other issues, secondary problems, it is because of worship of self, that people treat each other so terribly. Let it not be so among this family of God. So I think that what people think my endgame is with Bible literacy, is that we would all agree on all matters. If we just knew our Bibles better. That’s not actually it at all. I think we would all grow in greater clarity about the essential matters. Certainly, I think that but my hope, and championing Bible literacy is not that we would all agree on all matters, but that we would learn to disagree charitably, on the things that are not a primary importance. Because I don’t know about you, but any time I have made meditation on a particular issue that I was having difficulty understanding, it has grown humility in me instead of pride. And that is what I am praying for the church, that those who submit themselves to the ministry of the word will grow in humility and humbly receive the implanted word. We can look to two people from church history to help us see an illustration of this be familiar with John Wesley and George Whitfield, who were preaching during the Great Awakening and fairly on in their ministry trajectories. They were very good friends and arrived at a very different place with regard to predestination and perfectionism. Two very different places. And so their preaching paths part of their ministry paths didn’t have a lot of overlap, but they loved each other so much that it was a hard party. And they remained friends until the end of their days. And when Whitfield died, Charles Wesley penned an elegy for his funeral. And at Whitfield’s request, his funeral sermon was preached by his dear friend with whom he never agreed, John Wesley
I was born in 1969. It was a fractious time in our country, perhaps every bit as fractious as the time that we are in now. And I grew up singing a song in church that perhaps, you know, it was called Andale know we are Christians. It was written in 1966. by Peter Schulte, us and it was this setting to music, the idea of Jesus high priestly prayer, that the church should be known for its unity. And one of the verses says, This strikes me so beautiful to remember, we will work with each other. We will work side by side. We will work with each other, we will work side by side, and we’ll guard each man’s dignity and save each man’s pride. And they’ll know we are Christians, by our love.
You know that chorus? Will you sing it with me?We are won in the Spirit, we are won in the Lord. We are won in the spirit we are won in the Lord and we pray that our unity may one day be restored. And nail no we are Christians by our love. By our love yes or no Oh, we are Christians by our love.
Jen Wilkin
Let’s pray. Heavenly Father, we pray even as we have raised our voices in unity that you would join our hearts in Unity. Teach us Father, to guard each one’s dignity and save each one’s pride, that the work of the church might go forward. That the church might be that city on a hill, the upside down place that is quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to become angry with one another and certainly with the last. We pray, Lord, that you might ground our hearts in your word and the humility that it cultivates teach us to be in glad submission, to not be those who quarrel over disputable matters, that we would not judge one another and find pleasure in it, but that we would live as those who will each give an account. Father, let us be instruments of peace, both outside the church and within. And we ask these things in the name of the one who is our peace. Amen.
Jen Wilkin is an author and Bible teacher from Dallas, Texas. She has organized and led studies for women in home, church, and parachurch contexts. An advocate for Bible literacy, her passion is to see others become articulate and committed followers of Christ, with a clear understanding of why they believe what they believe, grounded in the Word of God. You can find her at JenWilkin.net.