Preparing for Advent Season

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Melissa Kruger
You look back at Deuteronomy six, when it says, Here Israel, it says, Love the Lord your God with all your heart, your soul, your strength, these things are to be on your heart, then teach them to your children. And so often, I think, in this season, we can focus on, oh, telling the next generation which is important. But I think one of the most important things is that we’re taking time to sit and be still and be in the word and be focused on the season, rather than running around thinking it’s about Christmas cookies and presents and all of that.

Heather Ferrell
Welcome to the gospel coalition podcast, equipping the next generation of believers, pastors and church leaders to shape life and ministry around the gospel. Today’s episode features a conversation with Kendra Dahl, Melissa Kruger, Jared Kennedy and Bill Kimes on how you can help your family prepare for the Advent season.

Kendra Dahl
Welcome to this episode of the gospel coalition Podcast. I’m Kendra Dahl, and I work for the gospel coalition, and today I’m excited to be joined by some of my TGC colleagues to discuss how to prepare well for the Advent season. So I am joined here by Melissa Kruger. Melissa is our Vice President of discipleship programming at TGC. She’s the author of several books in Bible studies and most recently, parenting with hope, raising teens for Christ in a secular age, and Ephesians, a study of faith and practice. We’re also joined by Jared. Kennedy. Jared serves as an editor for TGC. He’s the series editor for the TGC hard question series, and the author of books like keeping your children’s ministry on mission and the beginners Gospel story Bible and the forthcoming story of Martin Luther. And then we have Bill kinds, who is the director of regional chapters and a council member for TGC. And until recently, he served for many years as the senior pastor at Cornerstone Evangelical Free Church in Annandale, Virginia. He’s authored seven pressing questions, a Christology of solidarity and wrestling with job, which he co authored with his son. Will. Thank you guys so much for joining me for this conversation before we jump in. I think it would be helpful if you each told our listeners just a little bit about yourself and the season that you’re in right now, just to give some context as we head into our discussion, who wants to go first?

Bill Kynes
I’ll go first. I am in the empty nest grandparents stage. I have four grown sons who are all married, and we now have 16 grandkids, and we now have the joy of seeing our children acting as parents.

Kendra Dahl
That’s so cool. I live for that moment. I can’t wait. How about you? Darren,

Jared Kennedy
well, I think Melissa and I are in similar stages. And so I have three daughters married to Megan, and have three daughters, and they are 1917, and 15, and so we are in the high school and college student phase of parenting right now,

Melissa Kruger
yeah, yeah. And I am Melissa. I have three kids. Well, actually, no, I got a fourth this year. So that was really fun. My oldest daughter got married. So we’ve got Emma and Andrew, who just, Andrew just joined and then we’ve got John, who just turned 21 and my last is getting ready to turn 18, and she will be, we will be so we will be empty nesting next year. And that seems so sad to me. So that’s, that’s, that’s the stage. We’re almost there, and I can’t quite believe it. It’s great.

Kendra Dahl
And I also have big kids at home. My youngest is 10, so 1012, and 16, though my older two daughters are about to have birthdays, so we’re we’re getting closer to launching that first one. I’m not ready, but I still have my my 10 year old at home, my son so well, it might feel a little early to be talking about Advent, but I know that every year I think I’m going to be so intentional, and then all of a sudden, it’s like Christmas Eve, and I’m still Christmas shopping. So this episode is time to be a gift for all the people out there like me who need that little reminder that Advent season is coming, and this is a good time to be thinking about how we can use this season well, but I realize that I’m starting with some assumptions, first, that Christians will celebrate Christmas, and also that this season does have some unique opportunities for personal and family discipleship. So I think it might be helpful for us to back up and and not take that for granted. So let’s start with the big picture. Why is it good and appropriate for Christians to celebrate Christmas? Jared, I know you’ve written a little bit about this, so why don’t you start us out? What do you what do you think? Well, I

Jared Kennedy
think for a lot of our listeners, celebrating Christmas will be really obvious that something they’ve experienced in their culture. It’s our time when we remember the birth of Jesus Christ, but that hasn’t always been the case in church history and. You know, we read in the book of Romans that regarding certain days as more special than others is a matter of Christian freedom, that some honor certain days and and some see every day alike and and there’s been difference on that. And in the reform tradition that TGC is a part of, there have been seasons that because of abuses of of seasons of fasting and feasting in the history of the church, Christmas hasn’t been celebrated, but I’m really thankful for the Christmas season and and actually for the whole church calendar that the churches that I’ve been a part of have marked the time of the Church year by celebrating a number of the Christian holidays. And you know, as believers, we believe that the Holy Spirit and our sanctification process is growing us to look more and more like Jesus. And one of the discipleship tools that the the church has used throughout the centuries to teach Christians about the life of Christ is the is the church year. And so from looking forward to the birth of Christ at Advent to the celebration of his death and resurrection and at Palm Sunday and Good Friday and Easter the Pentecost Sunday, when we celebrate the giving of the Holy Spirit, the seasons of the Christian year mark those movements in Jesus’s life. And it’s something that as as we celebrate those together with our church families and with our families, we can remember what the Spirit is doing in us to conform us, not just our time, but our our whole selves, into the image of our Savior, Jesus. Yeah,

Bill Kynes
I think in our generally low church evangelical culture that the celebration of the entire church year has kind of dissipated a good bit, but we’ve held on to Christmas and Easter largely. And I think there’s it’s a wonderful annual reminder of these greatest events of salvation history, and we just need to tell the story. And that’s one of the things I think I emphasize, is continue to tell the story, because the story is the greatest story on earth.

Kendra Dahl
Amen, yes, well, Melissa, what do you think? Why is Christmas a unique opportunity for family discipleship or personal discipleship? Yeah,

Melissa Kruger
I was thinking about this. You know, so many things culturally now are not for us, especially with raising kids like it used to be that on Sunday, everything stopped. So why not go to church? Right? Because what else is open, only church is open. So culturally, there was this expectation that you would be in church on Sunday, yeah, even if you were a nominal Christian or whatever, that’s clearly gone. Now you’re going to be at the soccer field on Sunday because there’s a lot of other things going on. However, when you think about the Christmas season, when else you walk into all of these stores and the music that’s playing is sometimes, sometimes it’s, you know, White Christmas, or whatever. But sometimes, even though it might be a secular version of it, it’s God. Rest you married gentlemen, let nothing you dismay. Remember, Christ, our Savior, was born on Christmas Day to save the world from sin and death when we had gone astray. Oh, tidings of comfort and joy. Okay? That never is sung, you know, in any other store at any other time of the year in stores, and so we have culture actually celebrating the Christian season with us. So I think it is a great time for our families, you know, to just say, Oh, this is a really important thing. And even in our more secular culture, this is still a time when his birth is celebrated, and that’s what it’s about. So it really is an opportunity, I think, for us as Christians who are discipling our kids, it’s a really important opportunity to teach them. This is what the whole Bible is about, and how all of the Old Testament is actually pointing to this moment that Christ coming on the scene is his advent. It is the thing that the whole Old Testament has been waiting for. And so it’s a real opportunity. And you kind of have listening ears, because there’s this big tree in your house with presents under it, and so they’re real eager to listen in a new way, maybe for the wrong reasons, but that’s okay, because you’re you’re talking about a gift that was given. Jesus is called a gift. So you’re, yeah, there are all these opportunities to learn in a way that I think kids are really receptive to. So I think it’s exciting, fun time for families,

Kendra Dahl
absolutely. And I think, how often do we talk about the Incarnation with our children? You know, I hope that that’s all the time, but what a great opportunity that there are these theological themes that come out along with the church calendar that just give us the occasion to talk about things that we maybe wouldn’t otherwise just bring up on a normal Tuesday, right? But I’m also mindful with this conversation that this can some. Feel like a weight. I think of the Advent seasons that I went into feeling unprepared and feeling like I was failing as a parent because I didn’t have some great plan for my children or even for myself to use the Advent season well. So I’m thinking of those people who might be listening, and the burden of adding things to what’s already a really stressful season might just be piling up. So So Bill, maybe you the wisest among us that you could speak a word to people like me and to those who are listening and talk about how you’ve navigated the Christmas season as a family.

Bill Kynes
Well, I think one of the things we’ve always tried to do is is not disconnect our family from the family of the church. So when we talk about a family celebration of Christmas, we include our engagement with the church, and the church provides all kinds of opportunities to take advantage of this Christmas season our church, we would have special Advent readings that talk about the promise and fulfillment of God’s Word in Christ, we would have, usually a sermon series that either had that as a theme or just passages from the Gospels. We would have a Christmas Eve service that would reinforce these themes. We would have children’s Sunday school or a children’s program, which was fun and engaged kids with the Christmas story in all sorts of ways. I used to I was a pastor, and I used to have a tradition of reading a children’s Christmas story to all the kids during worship on the Sunday before Christmas. And so I think that was part of our family celebration of Christmas, and what we did at home was, in a sense, just trying to reinforce that and say we’re a part of that family that’s us and trying to make sure that that message didn’t stay in the church, but was a part of our family life as well.

Melissa Kruger
Bill, I think that’s really good. I mean, because Kendra, what you’re asking, I think, is a lot of times what women feel so stressed out to make all these memories and moments and Bill, I think what you just highlighted is the church is set up to do this. Like, the simple act of going to church every week is a way to keep Christ at the center of Christmas. And I think sometimes we forget, like, Oh, these basic things we’re doing really, they really do add up over time. I mean, I think about like all the Christmas Eves I spent at church, and we had this woman, this is growing up, who’s saying, Oh, holy night in this very, very high soprano. And my brother and I would giggle every time and roll our eyes and think, What is this lady singing like this? Now it is one of my absolute favorite, favorite Christmas songs. Well, it was familiar to me because of giggling in that pew as a kid growing up, and then I could actually enjoy it and understand it later. And so the simple act of going to church, I think sometimes we discount how important that is in our kids spiritual development, but I think what Bill said it it also just helps every mom in the room breathe a little bit easier. Okay, they are learning from all those years of going.

Kendra Dahl
Okay, so we, we are at the most wonderful time of year, right? We’ve got this hope before us for some good rhythms with our church, for some intentionality at home. So let’s, let’s just give some examples. What are some things that you have done as a family over the years that have focused on the spiritual content of the season? And what are things you would commend and I would especially love to hear, what are some lessons that you’ve learned along the way?

Bill Kynes
I think one of the things we we continue to try to emphasize the story. And when the kids were younger, we would have them use the figures of the Nativity scene to act out the story, or then we would have kids from our community group together, and we would they would put on costumes and act out the story. And all the girls wanted to be Mary, and all the boys wanted to be sheep, I don’t know what else and and it was just reinforcing this glorious story and getting it in their heads, because the gospel is a story, and we want this to be ingrained in their thinking and and the theology of it will come out as they grow older and they begin to understand all that it means, but if they don’t understand the narrative, then they won’t get the gospel. So I think that’s one of the things that we try to do, is just emphasize the story.

Kendra Dahl
It’s so true that the way that the story gets filled out over the years, I think we downplay the beauty of just like you just know the story, and then the aha moments that come for our kids as they grow, when they see start to see those biblical connections of like, oh, the the baby promised in Genesis, 315, that’s what we’re celebrating at Christmas. You know, those things are going to come over time. Like you said, I really appreciate that, Jared, what were you going to say?

Jared Kennedy
Yeah, I don’t. You don’t spend as much time. I. Reading all the prophecies from Isaiah. Probably when kids are younger, you’re celebrating the little stories all the way. I think Advent was really the season when I learned how to lead my kids devotionally. And so I’m a young dad, a young pastor, and one of the older elders in our our church handed, handed my wife and I a book that just went through 25 stories leading up to Christmas, and it had little, little ornaments for a Jessie tree in the back that she would punch out and hang, hang on the tree. And so we just started doing that with our kids at Christmas, we went down to the drug store and bought a three foot discount Christmas tree and with with little lights on it, and put it up on the shelf and our apartment, and just began reading those stories to our girls over, over and over each year. And I wouldn’t, I mean, honestly, looking back like I wouldn’t always keep the the the dad leadership and the devotions going throughout other parts of the year. But there was something about decorating for Christmas in late November, when we would put up the tree and those kind of things. You know, my girls would go and get that book out, and then as they got older, would say, Hey, Dad, what devotional are we doing this year for Advent, because had become a part of what we did as a family. And I think, just like, you know, like my grandma having sweet potato biscuits on on Christmas morning, like there are things that become family traditions just because they’re repeated over and over. And I, I think, I think sometimes we can feel pressure to do all of those, like 1000s of things, but for our family, it was just beginning to do that one that became a rhythm that now our kids remember, even as they’re they’re becoming adults and want to do again and again when, when they’re home with us for Christmas.

Melissa Kruger
Yeah, Jared, we did the Jessie tree too. That’s what I was gonna say. So one of my girlfriends actually organized this whole party, and this was super fun. So if you’re looking for an idea to do and we you need to do it in like November. So this could be, you know, go, get, get, get some friends to do this. And we had 25 of us, and each of us signed up for one ornament. So I made 25 scrolls I can still remember of Isaiah, like I scrolled these up and made them into an ornament. And then when we came to the party, we each took one, so we went home with a full set of Jessie tree ornaments. And so the beauty of this was one like, the ornaments are special to me because my girlfriends made them with me. And so that was special too, because it’s this whole community. We ended up later doing it as a whole church thing, like, so we did it with women from the church, and that was great as well. And so that was community building. Because I’m like, oh, that Apple was done, you know, by my friend Martha, or what I mean, they all had value. And then over the years with our kids, they loved picking them out because they were also well done, like they were way better than I would have made on my own, by any means. But then they became part of the story themselves, because the apple with the serpent around it was one of the things that you start reading in Genesis. And the question is always like, well, who you know, who ate the apple as the fruit, but this person had chosen an Apple as the fruit. And eventually, one year, we found out there was an actual bite in our apple, and it was because my son John had bit into the apple. And so it becomes this family joke, like, who ate the apple John, not eve John ate the apple or whatever. And so it was really like you said, these were some of our just most fun Christmas memories, sitting around the table talking about each of those things. And I think for kids, this is a really concrete way that they learn the story, because kids need to see things. So you have, you know, the slingshot, you’re understanding the story. You’re telling the whole story of the Bible through these little yeah ornaments that the kids get to hold and look at and see and explore. So it’s allowing them kind of to to see all the stories, not just hear them. And I think that was a really beautiful thing if you’re not crafty, I do want to say there’s a new resource that I have seen and love. It’s their Advent blocks. And they come with a they come with a book that actually take you through so it’s already pre done for you. And they have 25 blocks, and your kids just get to turn the block each day. And it tells the story. So there’s, there’s a lot more out there. Now that makes that a lot easier.

Kendra Dahl
You know, I think one of my favorite things to pull out of the Christmas box is a little children’s book by Sally Lloyd Jones. It’s all Creation preparing. They’re delighting that he’s here, he’s here. And then ends with with creation, looking upon Christ as the one who made us has come to live among us. And every year, that’s what I start out with reading, because it’s my favorite. And I’m just, you know. Weeping as trying to read these words. But do you guys have others like that that are things you know, you pull from the Christmas box that have become staples in your family life.

Bill Kynes
We have some Christmas books like that that have become favorites, and they you know, once you do things three or four times, they become a tradition, and the kids will remember them and think, Oh, we did that all the time. My wife loves to build those kinds of traditions. But some of those Christmas books are very similar to what you just said.

Jared Kennedy
There’s a book called just Nicholas that that Matthias media did a few years ago that tells the story of Nicholas of Myra, and where the legend of Santa Claus came from. And that’s, that’s a book that that we love to read with our kids over and over. Annie craish is the is the author of that. And so I’m a church history nerd, which I demonstrated at the beginning of the conversation, but, but reading stories like that from church history over really fun for us and our family.

Kendra Dahl
Yeah, another thing that we do that I if this is my favorite, and I think it’s become our kids favorite, is we come home after the Christmas Eve service and we eat a bunch of junk food we just make, like pizza rolls and pigs in a blanket. It’s just like all the frozen things from Costco that we never get. We eat all of it on Christmas Eve, and we watched the movie The Nativity. It’s just a historical telling of the Nativity. You know, there’s some liberties that we definitely have had to talk through, like that’s not actually how that happened, but in general, I feel like it’s a really well done telling of the story leading up, you know, Mary and Joseph and leading up to Christ’s birth, and it’s just become this lovely thing that we all sit in the dark with the Christmas tree and watch this movie, and that’s our Christmas Eve tradition.

Melissa Kruger
Well, I’ve seen lots of liberties taken because our kids, our cousins, are in town, so they come Christmas Eve and they do a nativity play every year. Lots of liberties. There were some rapping wise men one year. I mean, there’s a lot but, but my, my sister in law, she she has a box that has a star costume that has, yeah, it has these things. So every year, someone different gets to be the star. Someone gets to be the angel. I mean, and the three oldest cousins kind of were the directors, and made it happen every year. And so it but it’s great because, you know, they’re, they’re going back and reading the story again to make it different every year, yeah, because they want to somehow make this old story fresh. And so it’s great because it puts them back in the Bible, and they keep, keep researching it to say, oh, what can we do this year to spice up the Christmas story?

Kendra Dahl
Well, we focused a lot on, you know, family things. But what about personally? Are there things that you do, you know, maybe, if you’re someone who’s not at home with a family, or you’re, you know, away away from family, or you’re, you know, just an individual looking for some personal growth or enrichment and study during the Christmas season. You know, what are some things that you’ve found helpful or that you would recommend?

Bill Kynes
Last year, I enjoyed something that was a little bit different to CS Lewis Institute created a digital Advent devotional drawing on the music and the biblical lyrics of Handel’s Messiah. Each daily devotion included a biblical text drawn from the Messiah, a meditation on that text, and then a portion of the musical Messiah based on that text. And it was a very creative approach to do something a little bit different during Advent. And I really appreciated it.

Melissa Kruger
Yeah, I think this is really actually important. I mean, when you look back at Deuteronomy six, when it says, Here Israel, you know, it says Love the Lord your God, with all your heart, your soul, your strength, these things are to be on your heart, then teach them to your children. And so often, I think in this season, we can focus on, oh, telling the next generation which is important. But I think one of the most important things is that we’re taking time to sit and be still and be in the word and be focused on the season, rather than running around thinking it’s about Christmas cookies and presents and all of that. I mean, I think it’s very easy for us to get caught up and exhausted. I will say, practically, one thing I do try to do is do my Christmas shopping early, not to but not to take the fun of what Kendra’s talking about doing on Christmas Eve. But I try to do that. So I try to do that so that I can be still during the month. Not everyone works that way. So, I mean, this is just something I try to do so that I have time to actually sit by my tree with the lights on and read Advent devotionals. That’s a big priority for me. I always I start in around November looking for a new one, because you’re right, it will creep up on you if you don’t start looking kind of now for what Advent devotional do I want to do? TGC. She put out one a few years ago. There are lots of good ones out there. TGC has done a new one, which I’m so excited because I have not read any of this one. And so this is what I’m going to do this year. It’s called unto us 25 Advent devotions about the Messiah. And some of you guys helped do this one. But I’m really excited about it. What I love it’s very simple. You read a passage of Scripture, you reflect, and then it gives you an opportunity to respond as well. And so I think being able to be in the word and focus on Christ in this season. And the other thing I do is I always have a Christmas playlist, and just in my car to hear those hymns and to remember it matters. You know, Moses, the end of his life, he gave the Israelites, God had him give the Israelites a song to that they would remember the deeds of the Lord. And I do think songs speak truth to our hearts in ways we desperately need. So I think just even in the car, putting on Christmas music and listening can really help us prepare our hearts as we’re thinking about this season.

Jared Kennedy
A few years ago, my friend Tyler gave me a book of Augustine’s Christmas sermons, and I love to go back and read either Augustine sermons or Luthers sermons that they preached on Christmas and and usually I mean, I’ll just pick one a week and then kind of meditate on it throughout the week after that. And it’s, I think what’s so encouraging to me about it is that Christmas is something that’s been celebrated for for 1000s of years, and to know that there have been believers celebrating these truths of the Incarnation for for so long, is such a deep encouragement to me that you know, once upon a time, Martin Luther was wiring candles into his his Christmas tree. I do not know what Katie thought about it, but, but that that kind of thing was happening back in in church history, and while I’m sitting by my my tree with electric lights, there are, you saints that have gone before that that celebrated the Savior the same way.

Kendra Dahl
So I think it is really sweet that there’s this season on the calendar that we can say, you know, maybe I’ve kind of lost my rhythms of connecting with the Lord, or maybe I’ve been so focused on deep study, and it’s just a season to pull back and kind of do more devotional reflection or things like that, but kind of building these rhythms, using these these resources that are just so strategically developed to help us not have to think in and just sit down and open the book and read the next day. The Christmas season brings with it other opportunities, right? We’ve mentioned some things about, you know, getting together with our family and our churches, and I think it is often a season where we want to help ourselves and our families and our communities look outward, right? So, so what are some ways that you’ve been able to leverage the Christmas season for opportunities to serve and love your neighbors? Where have you seen that come out?

Jared Kennedy
Bill was talking earlier about just the importance of marking the season with your church community. And I think that outreach to others is one of the things that, at least for our family, has been done best with alongside our church as well. And so two of the things that stood out to me as I was thinking about this question, one was just Christmas caroling around the neighborhood, where our our churches, and I, you know, I’ve never actually seen someone come to faith while we’re out singing Christmas carols around the neighborhood, but I haven’t ever seen anyone turn us away either. You know, while we’re while we’re out singing together as a family, and I can count one or two people who heard about our church that way fell into crisis later on and came to our church because they knew us, because we were the ones who came in San Christmas carols every year. And so that’s that’s been a really meaningful way for us. Another event our local church does is an affordable Christmas where members of the Church donate toys and then they’re they’re resold to less fortunate families in the neighborhood where our church is. But allowing them to pay for some of those at a price they can afford is a way of dignifying those who who struggle to have a Christmas with their kids. And so that’s been an event that that we’ve done year after year, and that my daughters enjoy going and serving as a part of we’re also our family. My girls like to bake things, and so they’re always thinking of people they can give the baked goods away to. And sometimes that’s just a pastor or two that has been meaningful to us, and we end up taking them cinnamon rolls every single year. But Marty macchowski, who is a pastor in the Philadelphia area, says his family goes and looks at Christmas lights before Christmas and that their kids vote on the house that has the best Christmas lights and prints out. A certificate of that they won the like machowski Family Christmas Light Award, and then takes cookies over to to that family as well, which we did once. And my, my girls are very scared of this, but I think it’s such a cool thing. And the macho skis have made that that work year after year, which is, I think, is a really fun way to get get your family not just thinking about, I’m going out to look at Christmas lights for my own entertainment, but to serve other people, as well.

Bill Kynes
As a church, we used to emphasize Christmas Eve service as an opportunity to invite people because I think it’s been said that it’s this one service of the year that a non Christian is most likely to attend, and we would emphasize that and really encourage people to think about who they can invite. Another thing we did few times early in December, I’d go to the bank and get a $100 bill. I would bring it home, and at family dinner, I’d put it on the table, and of course, that’s a lot of money. The kids and they were just marveling, here’s $100 bill. And I said, All right, during this month, we’re going to pray and ask the Lord to show us what we should do with this $100 bill. Is there a person that Lord brings to mind? Is there an organization that we should give this to, and have the whole family involved in that decision, and then as we move toward Christmas, we would give that $100 bill away. But I think, as Melissa was saying, it was tangible. It was something they could see, and I think that made it more meaningful to them.

Melissa Kruger
I love that. I mean, that’s really good too, because it helps them discern to give to one place you don’t give to another. It’s to kind of spend the time you know you’re learning about giving even, even in that moment. I love I love that image. One thing our church always did was a lessons in Carol service. So again, it was similar to what you all were saying that, but it was a time we purposefully invited non Christians to come because I think if you can get them in a church building, they are more likely to come back, right? Because it’s kind of intimidating to go to into the church building for the first time. So but often people are thinking, Yeah, I want this moment where I’m reflecting upon the story. Another thing I’ve seen done really well. This was not my church. I was asked to come to speak, and they they specifically said, We want you to give a very outreach focused message. But the women in the church, they transform. They had a their sanctuary. They could take all the chairs out, so they transformed it into tables, and they hosted this beautiful luncheon. But every woman host brought her own China and decorated her own table, kind of her style, and then she invited her neighbors and her friends. So it felt very personal come sit at my table at this luncheon, and then they had, like I came in and kind of gave a gospel message, and they sang songs and everything. But it was a, it was a really wonderful way for all the women to think through who are my friends who I’d love to come hear this? And again, it got them into the building, but in a way that felt like you’re coming for a lunch rather than maybe a Christmas service. And so I thought those were some great ways I’ve seen people, you know, use the season as a way to share the good news with others.

Kendra Dahl
That’s great. You know, one year, we had just moved into a new a new house, and we didn’t really know our neighbors, and so at Christmas, we looked on a map at all the houses within a few mile radius. We live cut out in the country, and we just sent in the mail a Christmas card that introduced ourselves and invited everybody to our home for a Christmas open house. And we had never talked to these people before. We had no idea if anybody was going to show up. And guys, they poured in. It was crazy. We you know, my husband and I were so overwhelmed, of like, the number of people in our our new house, and yet it was the coolest thing, because it just opened the door to now we all, we met our neighbors. We had a little, you know, list in our bedroom where we would go take notes as we met people to try to remember, okay, who, who lives where, and what children do they have and but it just was this good lesson for me of how open people are at Christmas. You know, people are just so much more open to an invitation. So like you said, to church, but even into our homes. You know, in our most recent home, we moved in right after COVID, so we really haven’t had that opportunity, but it’s always on my mind, like, Christmas would be the time to say, come to our house, because people are curious and and your home is decorated. So you’re like, maybe this is an okay time to host people, right? But, I mean, I think that that openness is just really striking about the season.

Melissa Kruger
I think you hit on a good point of sorry. I mean, people, it’s also a really lonely time for people. I mean, I think we forget that in the church, or if we have a lot of family around. That, or we feel so full because, you know, we’ve got our church family. We’ve got maybe a biological family, yeah, but even if, just being a member of a church, we have so much more community than the average person. And so for some people, having time off means they don’t have anything to do. And I know as church people, we sometimes can’t imagine that we’re like, there’s always, always more to do in the life of the church. But I think it’s a really good reminder some people are really lonely, and an invite over would mean a lot to them.

Bill Kynes
I agree with you, Kendra, we’ve done the Christmas kind of welcome in the home, and neighbors really respond, and I think they’re in the way we live these days, we’re cocooned in our homes, and there are very few opportunities to meet neighbors, and they really appreciated it, not just meeting us in our home, but meeting their other neighbors. So I really agree with that just kind of just a gathering in your home is a great way to reach out to people.

Kendra Dahl
Well, we’ve talked a lot about, you know, the spiritual content of the season and the opportunities around that. But I think as we round out the conversation, it would be helpful to just lean in for a minute to the joy of the Christmas season. You know, sometimes I think we can be sort of stuffy and be like it’s about Jesus, and forget that this is supposed to be a season of delight. I love the picture of in The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. When the narnians, it’s like, still winter, but they’re feasting. I think that’s like the picture of Christmas to me. Is this like we Yes, we know it’s winter around us, and we’re waiting for Jesus to come, and yet we have such an occasion to feast. So, so how do you think you can capture that in your family. Or how have you captured that to be able to just really, you know, express the joy of the Christmas season without giving into kind of the worldly, you know, peace, love and joy message that hijacks Christmas?

Melissa Kruger
Well, I can start with how not to do it. I can remember my mom always did Christmas cookies with us, and so I was going to start this tradition when the kids were young. And I don’t know what happened, but all I remember at some point was like, I am pretty much yelling at all of the children because they’re not making the cookies, right, yeah, or, I mean, because you’re just stressed out as a mom. So I do want to give us all. And what I was focusing on in that moment was creating a moment, rather than just experiencing time together. So even with all these ideas, one thing I would say is, be your family. You don’t have to be Jared family or Bill’s family, or Kendra’s family or my family. You don’t have to do the things we did. Don’t go to Instagram looking for what your family should be like during this season. It might just make you feel like a big failure. So joy is going to come. It’s a fruit of abiding. It’s not creating a moment. So I always like to say, you know, Joy is this fruit of the Spirit. How do you get that? If you abide in Me, Jesus said you will bear much fruit. And apart from me, you could do nothing to the place to start. Maybe get up 15 minutes early and be in the word if you really want joy, that’s different than these moments, because in the flesh, Melissa is trying to make the moment with the cookies, and she just makes a big mess, honestly, a big mess. But in the spirit, Melissa who spent time with the Jesus who actually came to bring her life, that’s the Melissa who can give joy to her family, and then I think out of the overflow from that, our families will experience that.

Bill Kynes
That’s a good word. That’s a very good word. My wife is very much about creating memories. And when the kids were young, we started doing something that kind of developed over the years. It was a Christmas family sleepover. When we decorated the Christmas tree, it included having a pizza picnic on the living room floor. Then we would decorate the tree, then we would create a gingerbread house, which involved it evolved from being just a regular gingerbread house, then we used more helpful construction materials like graham crackers and sugar wafers and icing as mortar and candy decorations. And then we started building buildings that were important to us during that year. One year, we built the new sanctuary that the church had built, and we that one year in University of Florida, gators won the national championship. We’ve built the stadium of the University of Florida. After 911 we built the US Capitol building. It was just a fun thing, and then we would go the evening would conclude with a at the fireplace, and I would tell my annual Dr Slovak story. It was about a mad scientist who lived in the deep, dark forest of Transylvania. So it just something that and the kids, even as they got older, they wanted this. They wanted. They wanted we would end the night by sleeping on mattresses that we pulled into the living room floor. It was just a crazy kind of thing, but that was a fun tradition we had.

Jared Kennedy
When our extended family. Only the North Dakota cousins and the Kentucky cousins get together. We we have Christmas Olympics. And so, you know, we have, they’re very competitive, all of them. And so, I mean, it’s little, little, you know, Minute to Win at games. But also, you know, who they have a competition for building gender red houses and those kinds of things. And if you want to see a mess, this is a mess. And so it’s just incredible, incredibly messy. But I think you know, getting the finance involved and and all of the cousins together, and letting their energy foot feed off each other has has always been a super fun thing. I also set the DVR really early. And now that we have streaming services, my DVR is just constantly set to record the Christmas movies year after year, and we watch it’s wonderful life. We watch White Christmas. We watch elf every year, and I just go look at the lights, come back to the house and make hot chocolate and popcorn and sit in the living room and watch all those those movies together and and we usually kind of mark off two or three Thursday or Friday nights in December that that are just for our family to to kind of hang in the living room and and do those things.

Kendra Dahl
It’s the Muppets Christmas Carol for us, that’s that’s the first one every year, everyone’s favorite. Well, this has been a lot of fun, and now I really want to set up my Christmas tree. So let’s land and settle the debate once and for all about when you can set up your Christmas tree. When does it go up in your house?

Bill Kynes
Not before December 1.

Kendra Dahl
Ooh, you’re strict.

Jared Kennedy
It doesn’t really matter in our home, when the Christmas tree go goes up, sometimes it’s the week before Thanksgiving, sometimes it’s after Thanksgiving, sometimes it’s December 1. But what matters is that at seven o’clock on Christmas night, it all comes down and goes back in the attic. And so we, we live a long way from our family. We’re almost always traveling the week after Christmas, and my wife does not want to come home to having to take all the decorations down. So we, we actually set an alarm for like, seven on Christmas night, and then we all gathered together and put everything away.

Kendra Dahl
You’re strict on the other end!

Melissa Kruger
We usually go at Thanksgiving, because now all my kids are home. So because buying a Christmas tree, I came from a family where buying a Christmas tree is a really big deal, like, we would go, like, four lots. I remember the first time Mike came with our family. He was like, we’re at the first lot. And he’s like, Well, that was a good tree. Why aren’t we getting I was like, oh, no, no, no. You got, like, multiple lots. You can never buy the first tree you find. You have to find the best tree there is. And so, you know, so we spend a lot of times, but it’s always whenever everyone kind of has to be there. So typically, all the kids are home for Thanksgiving. So for us, it’s when they’re all there, and then I need all their help setting all the Christmas stuff we have up. So it’s a requirement. It’s just when all the children are home that’s fine, and then they all have to be there to take it down too, because it’s a lot of work. We have way too many boxes of stuff.

Kendra Dahl
Our Christmas tree. Experience has changed over the last couple of years because we got a couple of cats, and we tried to put up a tree our first year having this new kitten, and she destroyed it. I mean, it lasted like three days. I was so angry, I finally just packed it up and put it away, because it was constantly, you know, shredded, like the ribbon is hanging on the floor and and so then the next year, we thought it’d be better, but we actually got a second kitten. So last year we tried just we set up the Christmas tree, literally outdoors. I mean, I live in Southern California, so we put it outside my patio door so we can see it through the house, but it can’t be inside our house. So I’m really pulling for this year that they’re grown up enough to not destroy my Christmas tree.

Melissa Kruger
So one question I do have for all of you, are y’all real Christmas tree people or fake Christmas tree? Because this is going to determine, like, whether we can stay friends. I don’t know how you answer. What are y’all?

Kendra Dahl
I’ve only ever had artificial trees. That’s what I grew up with.

Jared Kennedy
I know, yeah, I’m an artificial tree person too. I’m sorry, Melissa.

Speaker 1
I’m a real—we have to mortgage the house to buy one, but it’s we’re real Christmas tree person. We come up with a note, a nice little thing. We now put it on a small table so you don’t have to buy as big a tree as we used to, which is helpful save money.

Melissa Kruger
I need a big tree for all my ornaments.

Kendra Dahl
I’m intimidated by a real tree. I’m like, I don’t even know where to start. How do you what do you do? Do you water it? Do you I don’t I just, I don’t know. It’s overwhelming. So I stick with the fake one.

Melissa Kruger
That’s part of it, like the kids have to get down there and help Mike as he’s pouring the water down. I mean, you know, it’s all part of the the the experience, but it’s the smell. I love coming downstairs and just smell.

Kendra Dahl
You know, they have essential oils and scented of candles. And there’s a lot you can do.

Melissa Kruger
You know, there’s a lot of like, there’s probably an apple pie sent, but you still want apple pie!

Kendra Dahl
It’s true. Well, you guys, this has been a lot of fun. Thank you so much for joining me for this conversation, and thank you all for listening to this episode of the gospel coalition podcast. If you found this conversation helpful, please pass it along to a friend. And if you’re looking for a devotional resources Advent season, make sure you check out TGC is new book unto us, 25 Advent devotions about the Messiah, which we will link to in our show notes. Thank you all for joining me.

Heather Ferrell
Thanks for listening to today’s episode of The Gospel Coalition Podcast. Check out more gospel-centered resources at thegospelcoalition.org.