Heavenly Matchmaking: The Divine Role in Marital Unions

Joel R. Beeke explores the theme of divine guidance in finding a marriage partner. He discusses how God orchestrates relationships through providence and prayer, using the story of Isaac and Rebekah to illustrate how faith and obedience can lead to God-ordained unions. Beeke emphasizes the importance of seeking God’s will in marriage and trusting in His perfect timing and choice for a life partner.

The following unedited transcript is provided by Beluga AI.

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Well, I want to preach to you on this story tonight with God’s help, and we hope to focus particularly on verses 58 and 67. Let me read those two verses again.

⁵⁸ Then they called Rebekah and said to her, “Will you go with this man?” And she said, “I will go.” (Genesis 24:58, NKJV)

And then verse 67,

⁶⁷ Then Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah’s tent; and he took Rebekah and she became his wife, and he loved her. So Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death. (Genesis 24:67, NKJV)

Well, our theme tonight with God’s help, is heavenly matchmaking. Heavenly matchmaking. Isaac marries Rebecca, and I want to look at this theme with you in four first, Abraham’s concern.

Second, his servant’s cry. Third, God’s control. And fourth, the couple’s commitment. Heavenly matchmaking. Isaac marries Rebecca. Abraham’s concern. His servant’s cry, God’s control. The couple’s commitment. Genesis 24 is a wonderful chapter, a wonderful story. It’s got lots of drama to it, lots of excitement, lots of direction, lots of providence, all kinds of practical themes. Themes about how to relate to other people, themes about matchmaking. Whoever said the Bible is not practical? This chapter is brimming with practical themes for daily life. Heartfelt prayer, childlike obedience, parental concern, divine guidance. What a chapter.

Genesis 24 is a practical handbook for daily living. Abraham has become very old, 140, to be exact. Sarah has died. Abraham and Isaac are both grieved. They’re very sad. How sad you would be, boys and girls, if your mom died. But Isaac was a grown man, 40 years old, and he was very, very sad. And Abraham was concerned, concerned about his son. You see, there’s already a few lessons to learn here. One is that if you’re a believer and you lose a loved one, that doesn’t cancel grief.

To be a Christian doesn’t mean you’re never sad. In fact, to be a Christian and lose a Christian mate is a source of great sorrow. Christians are not stoics; Christians are feeling people. And though Calvin rightly said we must never be immoderately grieved over anything that happens to us in this life because we’re traveling to a better and an eternal country, a Christian may know great grief upon the loss of a loved one. And yet, we learn from this chapter at the very beginning already that God has still made everything well with Abraham.

In fact, you notice the opening words,

¹ Now Abraham was old, well advanced in age; and the Lord had blessed Abraham in all things. (Genesis 24:1, NKJV)

Now, when I began to prepare the sermon, I’ll be quite honest with you, I started to read over that verse and I skipped it completely. But in a second reading, those last words there in verse one jumped out at me: the Lord blessed Abraham in all things. Is that really true, Abraham? He had to leave all his relatives behind in Ur, didn’t he?

He had to travel to Haran, and then he had to leave more of his family behind. And then he moved on to the promised land. But then he had to even part ways with Lot. And he settled in the land where he owned no property, and he lived in tents all his life. And he had to wait 30 years to receive a son. Does that sound like a blessed man to you? And then his first son, Ishmael, whom he was very glad with, had to leave the family home. And finally, he receives Isaac.

And God says to him, when Isaac becomes a young man, a strong man, take him up and offer him on the Mount Moriah. Is this a man who is blessed in all things? I think if someone looked at Abraham’s life, a natural man, he’d say, wow, what a difficult life. But the Bible looks at Abraham and says, what a man blessed in all things. Abraham was blessed in all things because he’s a man who had the promises of God. He’s a man who had the covenant blessings in the coming Messiah.

He’s a man who had a God fearing wife for many years. He’s a man who received a promised son who became God fearing as well. He was blessed with material prosperity. He lacked nothing. And God promised his descendants a glorious future. The Lord provided. The Lord blessed him in all things, despite the trials. Has the Lord blessed you in all things? Is that the way you look at your life? I wonder. Are we prone sometimes to think of our lives negatively? Are we prone to think of God’s dealings in our lives negatively?

So often we’re quick to embrace Asaph’s mentality in Psalm 77, where we look even at the wicked and are prone to murmur and magnify our trials and disappointments and trivialize the blessings of God showered upon us. But if we see what we really deserve, we would be able to say, tonight, God has blessed me in all things. You know, recently I was in the hospital. We had a parishioner who was on the 7th floor.

And so I took the elevator up the seven floors and there was a lady on the elevator when I stepped into the first floor. And you know how people are in elevators, they just don’t talk to each other. They’re very quiet. Well, I don’t like that. I thought, I think, well, there’s about a minute and a quarter. I have to evangelize her somehow. I’ll try to say something so I said, you know, it’s a wonderful day out today. She said, yes, it sure is. I said, good thing God’s in charge of the weather.

She said, oh, yes. Oh, yes. I said, we don’t deserve such good weather, do we? And then she surprised me. She said, my mama always told us, anything above ground. Tis the mercy of the Lord. I was going to evangelize her. I thought, anyway, she’s evangelizing me. The Lord has blessed us in all things. If we have one little sight of what we deserve, friends, no matter what our afflictions are, beside that Abraham needed every affliction, and God needs. We need every affliction God deems in his inscrutable sovereignty to wisely put upon us.

And when we see that, you see, we look at our sins, and we look at what he’s done to us, and we look at what we need to be brought into the right place before him. Then we say, all things work together for my good. By the grace of God, God has blessed me in all things. My friend, I say to you tonight, if you have the Lord Jesus Christ, you are blessed in all things. You have what life is all about. You have the one thing needful.

And all the light afflictions of this life cannot be compared with the eternal weight of glory that God has given and is giving you in the Lord Jesus Christ. Oh, will you not then join with me tonight and say, O God, how hast thou blessed me in all things? What a miracle. Blessed in all things. But now, to be blessed in all things doesn’t mean we become careless about life and that we don’t care about things. Abraham was blessed in all things, but he was also concerned about his son.

He concludes it was high time for Isaac to find a wife. Now, there are three things really behind Abraham’s concern that we want to notice here. The first is this. Abraham’s concern to find a suitable wife for Isaac was an essential part of his covenant responsibility before God. This is not just a story of a father who’s worried that his son’s never going to get married.

But the primary significance here is that Abraham, the covenant man, the man to whom the promises of God have come, and they’re going to flow through Isaac to the birth of the messiah in succeeding generations. This man is concerned, you see, because the promises can only come from the seed of Isaac. And if Isaac doesn’t get married and Isaac doesn’t have children, you see, there’s a huge problem. Now, Abraham’s concern, therefore, is not a panic.

He knows that God is going to fulfill this, but he also knows that God’s fulfillment of his promises doesn’t mean that we don’t use the means. And so he’s concerned, and he calls his servant and he says, beware that you don’t bring my son thither again. That is, don’t let my son take a wife from around this country, but take a wife from those who know and fear the Lord. Don’t you understand?

He says that the Lord has called me out of that land of Ur, of the Chaldees, that the Lord has brought me to this land. The Lord has given me promises and purposes, and He has graced me with His covenant for the world. And in this context, I want to find a wife for Isaac. You see, Isaac is the child of promise, and so he needs a wife. God is promised. Abraham seeks to make preparation by which God may bless his efforts to provide a way to fulfill this promise.

But secondly, Abraham’s concern here is to find a wife for Isaac. That is a legitimate concern all by itself. Apart from covenant marriage is a creation ordinance, marriage is God’s norm for his people. There are exceptions, of course. Notable exceptions. The Lord Jesus Christ himself is an exception. He never got married physically. There are those who are single for the sake of the kingdom of God, and they have rich and fulfilling lives. Some ways they can serve the Lord with a single eye that a married person can’t, but it’s still not the norm.

Marriage is one of God’s kind and merciful provisions for the well-being of human society. I’ll say that today we’re in a disintegrating culture that distorts those norms into ratifying alternative lifestyles, including very gross things like homosexuality. And tragically, our society today seems to neither have the will nor the wisdom to see what is plain for all, to see that when we disregard the creation ordinances of God for the good of his creation, we cannot but end up with a disintegrated and fragmented culture. But here we have an arranged marriage. Abraham takes action. It’s remarkable.

Isaac is almost on the sidelines. And I know what you’re going to say. you’re going to say, well, that was that culture. And we’re in a different culture today. A culture of Christian dating, hopefully at best, or worldly dating at worst. We can’t go back to this. Well, I’m not going to argue that we go back to that, but I will argue this. There was, in Abraham’s family, a covenantal corporate dimension that we ignore at our peril in selecting a wife for Isaac. Isaac was certainly involved. Abraham has certainly talked to him about it.

But even the servant was involved. The whole family became concerned and involved, and certainly that holds true today as well. Marriage is never you, young people. It’s never something that you just happened to do all by your solo self with another solo single young woman or young man, and it’s just her and me or him and I. No, when you marry, you marry into a family whether you like it or not. And we need to consult one another in our families.

When you have a young girl or young woman that you’re thinking of, of courting, you need to talk to the family. So what do you think of this young woman? You think that we would be a good fit, as far as you can see? Mom, dad, brother, sister, what is your advice? How we could profit from some of this today? How many bad marriages would have never happened if people had consulted their loved ones and said, is this really the wisest thing for me? What is best for me? What will glorify God the most?

Now, notice that Abraham doesn’t just wait for all this to happen. He uses the means, as I said, and we must use the means as well. Too often, we have very, very well-meaning single people who long to be married. They pray about it and they pray about it, which is, of course, the most important thing. But they don’t take any means to set themselves in the way or to meet other God-fearing young people. That is not wise. Here’s a biblical example: Abraham sets Isaac in the way of the means. What can I do?

You say, I don’t want to be like, I’m a woman chaser or a man chaser. No, but you can go to young people’s conference camp. You can go to various activities of the church. You can find ways, legitimate ways, to meet people, to be in the way and in the way prayerfully looking for God to add his benediction. The third thing we notice about Abraham’s concern, and the last thing is that he wants to find a wife for Isaac from the household of faith. He’s not just thinking of covenant fulfillment in terms of the messiah.

He’s also thinking of the compatibility, the spiritual compatibility of Isaac and his future spouse. We see that in verses two through four. And the servant accounts for it again in verses 37 and 38. And Abraham has actually said in verse three,

³ and I will make you swear by the Lord, the God of heaven and the God of the earth, that you will not take a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I dwell; ⁴ but you shall go to my country and to my family, and take a wife for my son Isaac.” (Genesis 24:3-4, NKJV)

Now, not everything was spiritually mature over in that country, of course. But Laban did come out and say, come in, thou blessed of the Lord. There was at least recognition that the servant had come with the Lord’s direction. And you find that throughout this chapter that there was some remnants, at least, of the faith there in Nahor’s family. Now, this principle is a very important one. The Bible says, “How can two walk together except they be agreed? How can light be joined with darkness?”

³ Can two walk together, unless they are agreed? (Amos 3:3, NKJV)

And so we need to rear our children, our very little children, teaching them already when they’re very young, they need to look for someone else when they get older, of the household of faith. That if they’re not of the household of faith, this is off limits. This is not going to be a good marriage. They must marry in the faith. Now, of course, if you are married already and you didn’t marry in the faith, then you must work with that. But when you’re not yet married, you must marry in the faith.

Well, this is Abraham’s concern. And already in the opening verses of this chapter, he’s teaching us many important principles for today. But what’s remarkable about this chapter, I think, and it’s often forgotten, is that the servant seems to have every bit as big a role in this wonderful chapter as Abraham. And the servant is a wonderful, wonderful example for us here. That’s why I devoted a whole point of my sermon to him. The servant’s cry, we don’t know who the servant is. Some think he was Eliezer.

Well, we know that Eliezer served Abraham 60 years before that in Genesis 15. That’s a pretty long time to have a servant. But it could well be its El easier. But whoever it is, it’s the senior servant. He’s a very God-fearing man. And Abraham comes to him and says, will you swear an oath that you’ll go to my relatives and find a wife for Isaac? Now, the servant at first is not too keen on swearing this oath.

If he swears an oath, he knows he has a tender conscience that God may damn him if he breaks the oath or if he can’t fulfill it. And so he doesn’t just say to Abraham casually, “Okay, no problem. I’ll swear an oath.” No, he takes what Abraham says seriously. Oath taking is serious business. So he says to Abraham in verse five, “Well, what happens if the woman will not be willing to follow me into this land? Must I needs bring thy son again into the land from whence thou camest?”

In other words, what happens if I meet this prospective woman and she won’t come with me? She won’t leave everything behind. Abraham says in verse six,

⁶ But Abraham said to him, “Beware that you do not take my son back there. (Genesis 24:6, NKJV)

You see, he forbids his servant to bring Isaac out of Canaan, so Isaac may not intermarry with the Canaanites. He may not leave the land.

And then Abraham goes on to say in verse seven,

⁷ The Lord God of heaven, who took me from my father’s house and from the land of my family, and who spoke to me and swore to me, saying, ‘To your descendants I give this land,’ He will send His angel before you, and you shall take a wife for my son from there. (Genesis 24:7, NKJV)

He will provide. He will provide. Abraham believes that by faith. But then notice verse eight,

⁸ And if the woman is not willing to follow you, then you will be released from this oath; only do not take my son back there.” (Genesis 24:8, NKJV)

So Abraham gives the servant a way out. Abraham knows that God will provide, but he gives him a way out. When the servant hears that, he says, okay, now I can take the oath. And he takes the oath. Verse nine.

⁹ So the servant put his hand under the thigh of Abraham his master, and swore to him concerning this matter. (Genesis 24:9, NKJV)

Now we don’t know why; we don’t know exactly why you had to put your hand under the thigh. Some people say it means that just as a thigh supports the body, so the servant swears, which means that Abraham can rely upon him to fulfill this task. But more likely, it refers to circumcision, the sign of the covenant that was invoking the power in the presence of the Lord God, who gave the covenant. But whatever the case, the servant takes the oath, and he immediately takes ten camels and a variety of gifts. And he makes his journey, a thousand-mile journey, far, far longer than going around the world five or ten times today.

It probably takes him two months. And finally, his caravan arrives in the city of Nahor, where he has to be. No enemy has assaulted him. God has protected him the whole way. No other caravan has stolen from him, no wild animals have eaten him. God has been good to him.

And when he arrives in Nahor, of course, he has no idea who to contact. They are all strangers. He doesn’t know the way to Neor’s house. So he positions his camels by the well, where he expects young women, as was traditional at that time, to come and draw water for their flocks. But do you notice what he first does? He turns to God in prayer. He cries out to God for blessing, for guidance. We see that in verses 12 through 14. And he recounts that a little more fully, actually, in verses 42 and 43 when he tells the story.

And we read there that he asked the Lord that Isaac’s future wife might be the one who would realize that he has no pitcher for water, and she would give both him and his camels water to drink. Now, the whole demeanor of this servant ought to teach us that this man, this man obviously been praying the whole way the whole two months. He’s a praying man. His whole lifestyle is a matter of prayer. Again and again in this chapter, we see him praying. Then we see him bowing his head and worshiping the Lord.

What a blessing are you, that kind of person. You pray your way through your day. You worship the Lord on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. You have a lifestyle of worship. While he’s praying, the Lord is already answering. It’s beautiful, isn’t it?

Before he was done praying, the Bible says, Rebekah is on her way to the well, and when she arrives, he asks her, let me drink, I pray thee. And Rebecca, noticing he’s a stranger, says, drink, and I will give thy camels drink also. But actually, it was no small offer. We minimize that.

We read right over that. But at that time, you see, an ancient well was a large, deep hole in the earth with steps leading down to the spring water. So each drawing of the water required substantial effort. And since one camel typically drank 25 gallons of water at a shot, and the pitcher of water on the young woman’s head would only be three gallons at most, that means for every camel, it was like eight trips all the way down to the well and all the way back. Ten camels. Do your math. Ten camels.

Eight trips per camel. 80 trips down into the well. Isn’t that something? 80 trips. She’s willing to make 80 trips down into the well. The whole process, scholars have estimated, took probably an hour and a half just to feed his camels. And all the while, you see in verse 21, the servant is watching her, and he’s amazed. How compassionate, how diligent, how beautiful Rebekah is. Wow. The servant holds his peace. The original Hebrew has it this way, staring and waiting silently. He is amazed. He just keeps staring at this young girl. Look.

And she’s running the whole way. She’s running back and forth. Could it be that this young lady with the beautiful face and the willing hands might also be the one who has a faithful heart that will come and be the wife of Isaac? God seems to be answering this prayer most wonderfully, but the servant needs to know more. He’s cautious. He’s a careful, God fearing man. He wants to know, is this woman of the house of Nahor? Because that was his oath. So as soon as Rebecca’s done, he gets out some gifts.

His heart must have just been pumping. It comes all this way. He gets out some gifts. He gives her a gift of a gold ring and two gold bracelets. And then quickly, the question comes out. The big question, the million dollar question. Whose daughter are you? Is there room in your father’s house for me? And how these words must have sounded like music in his ears. I am the daughter of Bethuel, Nahor’s son, whom Milcha bear unto him. Nahor’s son. Nahor was Abraham’s brother. This young woman is a granddaughter of Nahor. She’s Isaac’s second cousin.

She could be the fulfillment of the promise. This is the woman. This is the woman I’m looking for. This is an answer to my prayer. He’s overwhelmed. He comes all this way. God just puts the answer in front of him. Rebekah is God’s answer. What an awesome God. He bows. He bows his head at the well. Verse 26. He’s overwhelmed and he worships the Lord. I wonder if that’s ever happened to you. When you’ve gotten an answer to prayer in life, God has shown you something. It overwhelms you with disgrace.

Have you ever had to just stop there, put your hand on your mouth? You couldn’t even pray; you couldn’t even praise. You just were overwhelmed at the goodness of the Lord. You bowed your head; you just worshiped. Oh, God. Oh, God. Why are those so good, so good to me? He worships the Lord. And then he breaks out into this doxological praise:

²⁷ And he said, “Blessed be the Lord God of my master Abraham, who has not forsaken His mercy and His truth toward my master. As for me, being on the way, the Lord led me to the house of my master’s brethren.” (Genesis 24:27, NKJV)

Well, meanwhile, Rebecca, she, too, is overwhelmed. She hears this name, the God of Uncle Abraham, as well as Abraham’s name. Wow. She’s heard it so many times in her house. This is incredible. From a thousand miles away, a servant of Uncle Abraham. She’s amazed. She’s excited. She’s awed. She runs to her master’s household. And Laban, the man who would later deceive Jacob. You remember that, boys and girls. He sees. Wow.

He sees the gold, and he sees the presents, and he hears the story from Rebekah. He loves worldly things. He loves money. He runs out to the well, and he finds a servant of Abraham still standing there with his camels and servants. He says,

³¹ And he said, “Come in, O blessed of the Lord! Why do you stand outside? For I have prepared the house, and a place for the camels.” (Genesis 24:31, NKJV)

It brings a servant in, and they’re going to have a good meal. He says, “Eat.” Set a good meal in front of him. The servant says, “No, no, no, I can’t eat.” My message is too urgent. I need right away to set before you my mission. Then I will eat. You see, this is a faithful servant. You see, he won’t take time to eat and drink and be merry. No, no. He has work to do. I will not eat until I have told mine, Aaron. Then in verses 34 through 49, he repeats all the main points of this fascinating history, adding, subtracting minor points to maximize the effect on Laban and on his father, Bethuel.

Not being deceitful, but just telling the story in a way that we relate to him. He’s a very wise servant. And he concludes in a typical roundabout way, asking indirectly in verse 49, if you may take Rebekah as a bride for Isaac, he says,

⁴⁹ Now if you will deal kindly and truly with my master, tell me. And if not, tell me, that I may turn to the right hand or to the left.” (Genesis 24:49, NKJV)

How could they deny it? But then they add, rather ominously,

⁵⁰ Then Laban and Bethuel answered and said, “The thing has come from the Lord ; we cannot speak to you either bad or good. (Genesis 24:50, NKJV)

You think they’d say, “The thing proceedeth from the Lord. We can only speak to thee good.” Verse 51.

⁵¹ Here is Rebekah before you; take her and go, and let her be your master’s son’s wife, as the Lord has spoken.” (Genesis 24:51, NKJV)

Well, that sounds very good. So the servant ignores that little ominous note at the end of verse 50. And he hears this: “Take her and go.” And he’s overwhelmed again; this is no small thing. They live a thousand miles away.

Laban and Bethuel are responsible for Rebekah. And to let your daughter go with a stranger who you just first met a thousand miles away, and you probably never see her again for the entire lifetime, would you let your daughter go under those conditions? So this is a miracle, too. And the servant sees the hand of God in it. And again, he’s overwhelmed. He bows down in adoration, and he thanks God for wonderful answers to prayer. And then he gets out his gifts.

He gets out rich gifts of gold and silver and beautiful garments to Rebekah, to her mother, even brother Laban gets some benefits from it. It was customary at that time to give out gifts at such an occasion, but not to brothers. But what they’re trying to do is he’s trying to show the extravagance of his master, Abraham. And he’s trying to say, you can trust us. You see all the gifts. You can trust us. My wealthy master Abraham. We will take care of Rebecca. Don’t worry about Rebecca.

And once this bride was secured, then the servant sits down to eat. And we read that they stayed up all evening. They pulled an all-nighter, eating and drinking, talking, getting to know each other. And in the morning, verse 54 says, the servant wants to take Rebecca with him. But predictably, despite the servant’s great generosity, Laban and his mother demur. They hesitate. They’re not quite ready to give up their Rebecca so soon.

⁵⁵ But her brother and her mother said, “Let the young woman stay with us a few days, at least ten; after that she may go.” (Genesis 24:55, NKJV)

In the original Hebrew, it says days or ten. But the days is an indefinite number. It could mean ten days. Maybe it could mean 30 days. Maybe it could mean a year. Maybe it could mean two years, you say? Well, a servant doesn’t budge. It’s too urgent. He’s too devoted to his master. It’s too single-eyed. He’s too single-eyed. Hinder me not, he says, what a wise servant he was. Jacob would later find out from that same Laban that he had to work seven years for Rachel. Then he got Leah.

He had to work seven more, 14 years. How long would Laban have kept Rebekah if he had given in? No, he says, I need to take her right away. Don’t hinder me. My master is anxiously waiting. I have a long journey. Well, Laban doesn’t quite know what to say. So he says, we’ll call the damsel. We’ll ask her. We’ll inquire at her mouth. And God honors this servant’s determination, because the family attempt to stonewall him occasions yet another joyous providence. The public declaration of it. Rebekah’s faith. Wilt thou go with this man?

What does she say? Well, maybe five days. Can we compromise? I’ve got a few questions. What is Isaac like? Is he handsome? Is he kind? I will go. One word of four letters in Hebrew. What? Rebecca? In four letters of one word, you’re going to forsake all your friends and all your family and all you’ve ever known in the world for a stranger? Yes. I will go. Here you see the real definition of faith. you’ve heard of faith, of course, being described as forsaking all. I trust him.

Well, he or she forsakes all and trusts Isaac as a type of God’s people, drawn from the wilderness of this world to trust in the Lord Jesus Christ alone. And so Rebekah’s “I will go,” made willing, of course, by the Holy Spirit in her soul, secures her departure. There’s nothing more they can do now to keep her. Verse 59.

⁵⁹ So they sent away Rebekah their sister and her nurse, and Abraham’s servant and his men. ⁶⁰ And they blessed Rebekah and said to her: “Our sister, may you become The mother of thousands of ten thousands; And may your descendants possess The gates of those who hate them.” (Genesis 24:59-60, NKJV)

We know her nurse was named Deborah later on, and Abraham’s servant and his men, and they wish her the blessing of verse 60. Scarcely could Laban and Bethuel know how abundantly God would fulfill this blessing. Rebekah would become the mother of Israel. She would become one of the mothers of the messiah. Her seed would possess the gate of those who hate them. For not only would Israel overcome her enemies, but the Lord Jesus Christ would overcome the gates of hell and he would crush the devil. Rebekah would never see her family or country again.

But God’s children, the spiritual offspring of Rebekah, would become more than the sand of the sea. They would become conquerors through Rebekah’s great great great and many more great’s grandson, the Lord Jesus Christ, who loved them with an everlasting love. And so the spiritual offspring of Rebekah’s offspring, which we call the church today, would number thousands of millions, an innumerable multitude. And every believer in this room tonight is one of them. you’re part of the fulfillment of this promise. And so God answers the cries of his lowly servants in most stunning ways. Stunning ways.

Abraham had a wonderful concern, but I think the servant had an even more wonderful cry. But you might say, but is that the way we are to pray today? Did he set out a Gideon’s fleece? Are we to put out Gideon’s fleeces today and say, lord, if this happens and that happens, then I will take it as thy answer that I’m to do this and I’m to do that. But that leads me to this third thought, God’s control. God’s control. How do we know God’s will in all this? How does God guide us?

Let me say three things very briefly now. God guides his people, first of all, sovereignly. Sovereignly. You see that in verse 42, the servant realizes this.

⁴² “And this day I came to the well and said, ‘O Lord God of my master Abraham, if You will now prosper the way in which I go, (Genesis 24:42, NKJV)

Certainly, that kind of attitude in prayer is what we need today as well. “If thou wilt. If thou wilt.” We need to bow under the sovereignty of God. That’s what the servant is acknowledging, God’s sovereignty. “Not my will, but thy will be done.”

And if you want to go in God’s way, the most important, fundamental thing is to let God’s way be your way, to bow under his will with your will, and to submit to him. Those who are willing to will what God wills are precisely those who will come to know what God wills. You see, deep down, God will actually end up giving us what we really desire. If we really desire our own will and go our own way, God may well let us do that and self destruct.

But if we are his children, known by him from all eternity, and we learn to will what he wills, he will grant us his will, which is always best. God’s way is a controlling force for good, a loving control, a fatherly control, a sovereign control. But secondly, God guides his people scripturally. And indeed, we have to recognize that this man did not have the Bible, and God used special means to guide people. In Old Testament times, Gideon’s fleece was particularly suitable for him. In this particular situation, he didn’t have the revealed word.

And we know, of course, in the New Testament, in Hebrews, one that God says, “In the past, I spoke to your forefathers through the prophets in various ways, through visions and dreams and so forth. But in these last days, I’ve spoken through my son, through the word.” And so the writer is saying that with the coming of Jesus Christ, God has reached the climax of his revelation. And with the closing of the canon, we have the complete revealed will of God. We don’t need to look for any more supernatural revelation. Christ is the apex.

He’s the omega point. We need nothing beyond him. That is why Paul can write to Timothy and say,

¹⁶ All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, ¹⁷ that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work. (2 Timothy 3:16-17, NKJV)

So in old times, they were being tutored. They were like little children. And sometimes they could put out fleeces and have special, direct, divine answers. There’s something in our flesh that would want that today. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could just push a button and God would tell us the urim and the thummim.

Maybe God would tell us what his will is. God said, no, no, no. you’re in the New Testament era. I want you to grow up. I want you to know my word, to know its principles and to be guided by them. I want you involved. I want to give you a spirit of discernment. I don’t want you to be little children whose parents have to make the decisions for them. I want you to be adults, spiritual adults. Be guided by my word. And as you seek to be guided by my word, I will guide you.

As you submit to my control, I will show you the way to go. God guides us sovereignly. He guides us scripturally, and thirdly, he guides us corporately. Corporately. Abraham, his servant Isaac, they’re all involved. And God blesses this corporate pursuit of his promises. And isn’t that the way God still does that today? You find that in the New Testament, too. I think a striking example is in Acts 16, when Paul has been trying to go to various places to preach the gospel, and the Spirit is hindering him here and guiding him there.

And then he has this vision. It’s a man from Macedonia saying, come over and help us. And Luke says something very interesting at that point. He says, we concluded that God had called us to preach the gospel. So clearly, Paul had this vision and then came to Luke and said, this is what I received from the Lord. What do you think, Luke? And they talked about it together. They thought it through. They based it on the principles of scripture, and they concluded, this must be God’s will.

We are about to make decisions, major decisions in life. It is good not only to involve our family, but even the corporate family of God, to come to your pastor, to come to another child of God that you respect for spiritual maturity and say, “This is what I’m contemplating doing. Does this sound like it’s scriptural to you?” God can guide us through that. I always have a few people in my life when they come in difficult spots.

I pray about it, I think about it, and then I sort of decide which way I’m going to go. But before I go that way, I call them and say, this is what I’m thinking, and that’s what I’m thinking. Does this sound right? Do you see any flaws here? Do you see if I might be stepping out of God’s will here? Does this sound right to you?

And many times as I’m even talking to them, I get new thoughts come into my mind that give either more confirmation or more hesitation, because even bearing our soul to another can help us think more clearly. God is in all these things. You see and hide all this chapter, even though it’s scarcely mentioned. Can’t you feel this under guiding current? God is in control. God is in control. God is in control every step of the way. And there’s something beautiful in that for you and me, because that’s the way God still guides our lives today.

We can’t see it always on the surface, but underneath, underneath, he’s controlling every detail, working all things together for good to them that love him. And the more we trust him, the more inward peace we have. God is in control. And when God is in control, he does the complete work. Isaac and Rebecca, when they meet, they don’t have to say, “Ooh, I don’t know. I don’t think he’s the man I thought he was going to be. Well, I guess I’ll have to try to make the best of it.” No. No. Isaac and Rebecca meet.

There’s love. God does a complete work. He shows us of the Lord. He confirms it. He confirms it in the couple’s commitment to one another. And that’s why this meeting is so overwhelmingly touching. After the long journey two months back through the desert, Rebecca must often have wondered, those two months, this is quite a trip. Did I do the right thing? Well, she looks at the gold. She looks at the jewelry. She sees signs of the love of Isaac, the love of his master. She gets fresh courage. She keeps going.

Finally, the day comes; she sees someone in the distance. Who’s that? She says, that’s Isaac. Isaac, she says. She slips off the camel to show respect for her intended husband. She puts on a wedding veil to indicate that she’s a bride. And then the servant runs ahead of her. He tells Isaac all the amazing details. Rebecca’s waiting. Isaac wants to hear it. And Isaac, whose name means laughter. You know that laughter. He must have. I say it with reverence.

He must have laughed with profound delight and joy at the account of Rebekah watering all those camels. And they must have wiped away tears of joy as he heard about her faith in wanting to go with him unconditionally, and that she’s such a beautiful bride just waiting there by the camels for him. And then Rebekah comes, and joy is everywhere.

⁶⁷ Then Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah’s tent; and he took Rebekah and she became his wife, and he loved her. So Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death. (Genesis 24:67, NKJV)

And the marriage is immediate. Verse 67 says, and Isaac brought her into his mother, Sarah’s tent, and took Rebecca. She became his wife, and he loved her. And Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death.

So wonderful, wonderful, mutual, unconditional giving of each other in this marital commitment between Isaac and Rebecca. And what a wonderful type this is of the heavenly marriage, the heavenly matchmaking between a sinner and the Lord Jesus Christ. This is Ephesians 5, played out in Old Testament history, but designed to point us to the spiritual realities of Ephesians 5. Christ the bridegroom, the church, the bride, Christ the greater, Isaac, the church, Rebecca.

Well, let me close, then, by setting before you the fourfold commitment that I see here spiritually in this heavenly matchmaking between Genesis 24:67 and Ephesians 5. I’ll give it to you in four. First, mutual commitment. Mutual commitment. Isaac loved her. The Hebrew word for love here is to long for, to desire. It actually has the idea of breathing, panting with love, to breathe after that, strong love, the divine love which the law of God demands. Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, with all thy mind, with all thy strength.

Well, this love, said one commentator, is possessed only by believers for the Lord and is poured out into their hearts by the Holy Spirit. Such love is the bond of perfection. In this bond, Isaac and Rebekah were united to one another. And what a reflection this love is, you see, of Christ and the church. God loves his church with an unspeakable love. He breathes after her with the breath of the Holy Spirit, goes to win her and woo her and fetch her his bride. He loves his bride with passion.

He loves his bride with supreme commitment. He gives the best he had for the worst he could find, sinners like you and me. He gives 100% commitment. God is not just a tithing God. He’s a God who gives us all. He gives his only begotten son. I have one son, two daughters, but just one son. I won’t give him away to any one of you, not one of you. And you’re my friends. God gave his one son for enemies like you and like me; that’s love.

¹⁶ For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. (John 3:16, NKJV)

But when God gives his son away, he determines through that love to conquer your heart. Right? And to make you love him in return. So that you say we. We love him because he first loved us.

¹⁹ We love Him because He first loved us. (1 John 4:19, NKJV)

And to make you mutual lovers, so that you love him not as perfectly as he loves you. No, no, far from that. Not agape love. But you do love him. With Phileo, you can say with Peter, thou knowest all things. Thou knowest that I love thee.

And so, God makes his bride to enter into mutual commitment, so that when we come and stand before Jesus at the cross of Calvary, we bow our heads and worship and melt away in the love displayed at the suffering lamb of God, who agonized and was forsaken, that we might never be forsaken of God. Mutual commitment. And there at the cross, experientially, our souls are brought there. We give ourselves away, don’t we, to this covenant-keeping, faithful, loving God. We don’t tithe ourselves away. We give ourselves 100% away.

We say, Lord, take my hands, take my heart, take my feet, take my whole being, and let it be consecrated holy to thee. Give me a single eye as we sing in our psalter book thy name to glorify mutual life. Isaac loved her, and Rebecca loved him back. Secondly, unconditional love. Unconditional love. Oh, what a pattern. What a pattern of love is set in Ephesians 5 for a bride and a bridegroom. Jesus Christ so loved the church that he gave himself for her unconditionally.

When you look at what he did do on Calvary, unconditional love. You look at what he is doing. Ever living to make intercession for you, dear believer. Every single second, every tick of the clock, tick, tick, tick, tick. He’s interceding, he’s interceding. He’s interceding. He’s interceding for you. Can you imagine that? And you look at what he shall do. He’s going to come all the way from heaven and take you to be with him, to be with him forever. Unconditional love. How beautiful is that love. And that love makes you love him unconditionally.

It makes you fall in love with him. It makes you say, I love him. I love his people. I love his house. I love his word. I love the open throne of grace. I love holiness. I love truth. I love the brethren most of all. I love the Lord Jesus Christ, and through him, I love the Father, and I love the Holy Spirit. I love the fatherliness of all three persons. To me, I can say with Samuel Rutherford, I do not know which person I love the most, but this I know.

I love each of them, and I need them all: Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Often, when I do premarital counseling with couples, I ask them, “How much do you think, how much percentage do you think each couple should give in a marriage? Think you should give 50% husband, 50%?” But no, you know better. “101,” a man said, “but 100 plus 100 makes 200.” I said, “That’s right, give 200% in marriage.” But you see, in this kind of math, it doesn’t work that way. In love, love enriches itself by giving. Love multiplies itself by loving.

And when you give 100%, Jesus gives 100% of himself to you, and you give 100% back to him. There’s this unconditional loving so that you can actually come to the point where you would say whatever he does to me as well, because I love him unconditionally. Who loved me unconditionally. That’s great grace.

I heard of a woman once in Scotland, and she came to her pastor. She said, you know, I love the Lord Jesus Christ so much. Now God has blessed your preaching to me so much, I just can’t imagine. I can’t imagine bowing under, not bowing under anything He sends my way, except one thing all the ministers said. What’s that? Oh, she said I could take anything, except I couldn’t take it if my husband got cancer. My dad had cancer. I saw him waste away. I just couldn’t. I couldn’t live the truth out again. But anything else He sends my way, I could take it with love. What do you suppose the Lord did? Her husband got cancer. And how did she do?

She did just fine because the love of Christ overwhelmed her in the cancer. Through the cancer. The unconditional love of Jesus Christ works unconditional love in his bride. And, you know, that’s the way God has actually made man and woman. I know there are exceptions. I know that our depravity is spoiled so much. And I know that there are certain women that won’t respond to love.

But normally, even in a natural way, when a man lays down his life for a woman who loves her to pieces, may I say that that way, that woman will respond. It’s a picture of the Christchurch relationship.

Well, thirdly, there’s not only a mutual commitment, an unconditional commitment, it’s also a relational commitment. And the typology here is amazing. Amazing. Isaac being a type of Christ and Rebecca a type of God’s people. This marriage is planned long before Rebekah knew about it.

So God plans a marriage with you, dear believer, before you’re even created, before you’re even born. Ephesians 1:3-4. Rebecca lived in a far country, far from the godliness of Abraham and his household. Well, by nature, we live in a far country, dead in sin. How will we ever be brought to the greater Isaac, Jesus? Rebecca must be persuaded. There is such a person as Isaac. She must believe what Abraham’s servant says about him. But so must we. We must believe God’s servants. We must see the reality of the gospel.

Rebecca was faced with a choice. She had to forsake all she had, or she had to forsake a man she had never seen. And we’re faced with that choice in every sermon we hear. Will we delay again? Will we hedge about again? Or will we say, “I will go”? Rebecca had to go through a journey through the wilderness to meet Isaac. We have to go through a journey spiritually, to be emptied of self, to be emptied of our own righteousness, to find the righteousness of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Rebecca had to be united with him and loved by him and loved by the family. So believers come to be loved by Jesus Christ, and they enter into the family, the church, and find love in the church of God. But the same side from Isaac. Isaac was praying in the field. Jesus Christ was praying in the garden. Isaac was waiting for union with his bride. Jesus Christ hankers after union with his bride. Isaac gives himself fully, exclusively to Rebekah. He’s the only patriarch of all four of them. There was a one-woman man.

In a culture when men traditionally took more than one wife, Isaac never took anyone else but Rebecca. So Christ loves every one of his people as if he or she is his only bride. Isaac loved her daily. That’s what it implies. He took her into a tent, and he loved her. This was daily. It was a lifestyle of love. So Christ loves his people every day. And finally, this is a Christ-centered commitment. A Christ-centered commitment. Isaac and Rebecca love one another in the Lord.

Christ and the church love one another in the Lord. What a beautiful thing that is. What a beautiful thing on earth with a bride and a bridegroom when you can say of your wife or your husband, we love one another in the Lord. A threefold cord between God and us is not easily broken, is it? There’s a love that surpasses the love of women when we love the Lord, but when we love the Lord, we can love a woman as we can never love her without the Lord.

I had a woman in my congregation who for many years was a very worldly lady. She never became a member of the church. She came with her husband for 20-30 years, and they had a relatively good marriage. She supported him. She loved him every day. They told each other they loved one another. But then she got converted, and she said to her husband, now you’re number two. But she said, when you’re number two, you’ve got a much better wife than you ever have when you’re number one, because I love you more now.

I love you out of Jesus now. Will you go with this man tonight? Will you know this commitment tonight? Will you fall in love with this lovable savior tonight? Do you want to be married to a perfect bridegroom? I offer you tonight a perfect bridegroom, a husband who never makes a mistake, a husband who’s never selfish, a husband who gives away everything. I offer you a husband who brings you into a heavenly matchmaking marriage that will never end to all eternity. Will you go with this man?

There was once a shepherd boy in Scotland. Let me close with this tonight. The shepherd boy in Scotland took his sheep one night, hunkered them in a cave because there was a big storm coming. The boy woke up in the morning, looked outside, and he was amazed. The train track that went over the large valley was laying in the valley. The bridge had broken. The fire duct was destroyed. And the shepherd boy realized that the train was coming very soon. So he scampered up the side of the hill, raced his way to the track, and he got there just in time.

And the train was coming. And he waved his hands to the conductor to stop the train. The conductor just waved him away. The boy just fell across the track. The only thing he could do. The conductor slammed on the brakes and ran over the boy. But he stopped just before the train went down into the abyss. Everybody jumped out of the train. They ran to the front of the train. It was very quiet. He looked at the boy. The mangled remains of the boy looked at the conductor, looked at the train.

They looked at the valley. They looked at the track. Finally, one man spoke. He said, that boy saved my life tonight. Jesus Christ, my unconverted friend is waving to you. No. He’s laying across your track. He’s saying, stop, sinner, before you go down into the abyss and destroy yourself forever. Repent. Turn to me and believe the gospel. I’m willing to lay down my life for you. Will you keep going? Will you run right over him? Will you count his blood an unclean thing? Will you step upon his blood and take yourself to self-destruction?

Or will you stop and say that, God, man saved my life. Amen. Let’s pray. Great God of heaven, the question has come to us tonight. Will we go with the best husband in all the world? Please, Lord, help us to say with Rebecca, without any further ado or any further questions, “I will go. I will go. I cannot not go. He is altogether lovely. He is the chief among 10,000. No offer in all the world like this.” O God, help us to see who he is and what he has done.

And who he is willing to be and help us to bow and to worship and to receive, to repent and to believe. To know. Oh, to know him. To know him better and better. Like a good long marriage that is built on love, may we so fall in love with him in response to his love to us, that we might ever love him more. And like a good marriage can say, I love my husband. I love my wife better than yesterday and less than tomorrow.

So may we grow in grace, loving him more every day, that he may increase and we may decrease. O Lord, bless us with the greater Isaac. Be thou our heavenly matchmaker. Fit us for him and him for us. Let us find in him all that we need for this life and for a better we pray in Jesus Name, Amen.