3 Stages of a Pastor’s Life

What does finishing well look like for pastors? That’s a question I asked myself several years ago as I pondered Paul’s exhortations to run the race in such a way as to get “the prize” (1 Cor. 9:24). Does it mean there are a series of hurdles a pastor must clear to make it into the pastoral “hall of fame”? Are points given to church leaders based on our number of converts, baptisms, or dollars?

I decided that finishing well means finishing with the fewest regrets. It means coming to the end of your life knowing Christ was exalted over the years, regardless of how much money you raised or how many people came through the doors of your church.

Finishing well means finishing with the fewest regrets.

So how do you know if you’re running well—or even in the right direction? It may look different depending on how far along you are in your pastoral course. But whether you’re just starting out or the finish line is in sight, it’s always a good time to assess how you’re doing. And it’s never too late to pick up the pace.

Let’s look at this in three stages of life as a pastor.

Stage 1: Imagination

The young pastor looks into the future and sees explosive growth in his church, based on his great expository and visionary skills. I call this the imagination stage.

If you’re starting out as a church planter or have taken up an existing church, here are a few ways to avoid the pitfalls.

1. Remember that all members of the body are a gift to the church.

We must never see ourselves as better than others in the body, even though we carry a great responsibility. There’s only one Savior, and you aren’t him. Enter with humility, and you’ll avoid being humbled by God.

2. Give your expectations to the Lord. It’s his church, not yours.

He may call you to preach to thousands, to hundreds, or to tens. Your writing might become a New York Times bestseller, or it may end up as an insert for the church bulletin. God can be glorified in either.

3. Build your team around humility, not talent.

It took me years to get this right. If your staff and lay leaders lack humility, even the most talented person can become more than a thorn in your side. This isn’t to downplay talent or giftedness, but if those are mixed with pride, you’re in for a long haul of sleepless nights, awkward meetings, and tension on every side of your ministry.

4. Don’t brush small problems under the carpet.

This is one of my greatest regrets. I love to make peace and tend to run from conflict. That has cost me dearly. You don’t need to chase down every concern, but when you sense something is rotten, it’s time to check it out. Stamping out a small spark is easier than putting out a raging fire. I have the burn marks to prove it.

5. Decide early how you’ll allocate your time.

Some pastors spend 30 to 35 hours per week preparing for Sunday, while others may only spend 8 to 10 so they can devote more time to hospital visits, counseling, or discipling. Scripture gives us limited direction here, but such decisions must be made based on where you’ve been called to pastor and on your own personality. No matter how much you do, things will be left undone. You must prioritize.

6. Keep careful records of all your personal meetings.

You may need them later. I’ve never been good at this, to my own detriment. Memory fades, but notes don’t.

7. Develop good relationships with those in leadership and those outside.

This will give you balance in how you perceive the state of the ministry. Church members often see things differently than those “in the know.” Leadership can’t always see the forest for the trees, and those in the pews can’t always see the trees for the forest. As with eyesight, both eyes are needed for proper depth of field. Don’t be a one-eyed church leader.

8. Seek wisdom and direction from older pastors.

They’ve been around the block a few times and know where the loose manhole covers are. Talk to them and lean on their experience.

Stage 2: Experience

The second stage of pastoral ministry is often plagued with second-guessing. You may tend to look back on your ministry and focus on the failures. That’s the Enemy’s calling card. He loves to keep you distracted. Where did I go wrong with this church? Why are people so difficult? Have I been faking it this whole time? Did I misread God’s calling? Should I have been an engineer?

Stamping out a small spark is easier than putting out a raging fire.

Instead, I love to sift my thoughts through Philippians, where Paul is writing from jail, encouraging readers to be joyful. That’s irony behind bars, and it shows a heart consumed more by what God is doing than by his own situation.

Here are a few other ways you can keep yourself from running aground during this season of ministry.

1. Take inventory of your history as a pastor.

What have you done well, and what could you improve? Where do you tend to bear the most fruit? At my 20-year mark, we had a large celebration commemorating two decades of God’s faithfulness. I had a chance to see the people whose lives had been changed, but I was reminded it had never been “The Mike Minter Show.” Hundreds of people over those years were part of the work God was doing.

2. Consider what midcourse corrections need to be made.

Seek out some honest friends who’ve observed you through the years. They know your blind spots. I’ve had dear brothers with the courage to tell me I was running on fumes and that my messages lacked depth. They knew I was tired. Ministry can drain you. I also turned in my resignation once in the early 2000s, after we lost nearly 1,000 people to a local megachurch within a few months. Talk about ministry trauma! I felt like I was failing. One of the elders threw my letter in the trash and said, “We have work to do.” Deep in my heart, I knew I was called to stay the course, but the pain of loss was difficult to bear. I was certain the ship would capsize. It didn’t, and here we are many years later. Be honest with yourself throughout your years of ministry.

3. Take note of cultural changes that have taken place.

Moral, ethical, and technological manifestations are interpreted differently by different generations and religious backgrounds. Every pastor should have knowledge of the cultural narratives pulsing through our society. You can get left in the dust if you’re not aware of them. They can slip in unannounced and, before you know it, your ministry is no longer relevant. As someone once said, “There are those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who wonder what happened.” Don’t miss the train on this.

4. Spend time with the younger people in your church, and find out how they view life.

This will be an eye-opener. Obviously, this can be done at any stage, but after a decade or two it’s good to test the waters of youth. They’re living in a different world. That wasn’t true 30 years ago. Back then, it seemed generations were separated by inches. Today, the internet has separated them by miles. I’ve loved sitting down with teens and asking them what life is like in school and what battles they’re facing. Believe me, they’ll be up-front about it.

5. Be honest enough to discern whether you really had a heart for this thing called ‘ministry.’

This is a tough one, but it needs to be addressed before you build up decades of regret. Is there a fire in your belly for teaching God’s Word and caring for people? If it was there once, get counsel on how to reignite it. The Enemy loves to create doubt and question our callings. If, on the other hand, you just thought this was a way to put food on the table, it’s time to go before your leadership and seek their counsel. Resigning isn’t always the worst thing in the world. And if you aren’t called to ministry, leaving might be the best thing for your family.

Stage 3: Rearview Mirror

Stage three is for the pastor who has managed to survive 25 years or longer. I’ll refer to this as the rearview-mirror stage. There’s a greater longing for heaven and a desire to leave a legacy for your family, church, and friends. It can be the most profitable time in your life.

Resigning isn’t always the worst thing in the world.

It’s a time to gather with those you love and tell tales of bygone years. It’s a time to laugh and see life through the lens of wisdom and experience. As the name suggests, this phase of ministry also becomes a time of reflection, which can engender regrets, sometimes even leading to depression or deep sadness. Questions may arise like Why didn’t I lead better or spend more time with my people? I certainly wish I’d been better at counseling. The list of questions and doubts surface like a whale coming up for air.

Obviously, we can’t erase past failures, whether they were a result of sin, human weakness, or a lack of wisdom. Finishing well means living in daily repentance. Finishing well means maintaining a “clear conscience toward both God and man” (Acts 24:16). This was a supreme desire of the apostle Paul, who had persecuted the church and must’ve had many regrets in mind when he referred to himself as “foremost” among sinners (1 Tim. 1:15). Why did God see David as “a man after his own heart” (1 Sam. 13:14) but reject Saul who seemed to have fewer sins recorded? It’s because David repented wholeheartedly (as expressed in Psalms 32 and 51), yet Saul persisted in his hatred of David without repentance, making excuses for his disobedience.

Chuck Swindoll once said, “It is never too late to start doing what is right.” That’s a wise statement. No matter how old you are as a pastor (or retired pastor), you have time to make things right. A clear conscience is a key component of finishing well. No pillow is soft enough to soothe a guilty conscience.

Again, finishing well is finishing with the fewest possible regrets. Are there any relational loose ends that need to be healed? Are there people who have served faithfully and need to be thanked? Leave no stone unturned and you’ll finish well.