Are Christian Parents Too Protective of Their Children?

In 2017, Jack Gilbert—who teaches microbial science at the University of Chicago—and Rob McKnight published a fascinating book, Dirt Is Good: The Advantage of Germs for Your Child’s Developing Immune System.

Gilbert and McKnight challenge a core assumption of every nervous parent: that we must take every step humanly possible to protect our children from any and all forms of contamination. It seems our kids can never use enough hand sanitizer or take enough baths or use enough Clorox wipes.

As paradoxical as it seems, they argue, some level of exposure to germs can be a good thing. It can help children develop their immune systems, which will, in turn, protect them when they’re older. They posit that many health problems (including the rising rate of severe allergies) can be linked to a lack of exposure to certain bacteria.

Here’s the point: germ-conscious parents may think they’re raising healthy children when they may instead be raising vulnerable children—a vulnerability that will not become apparent until many years later.

Germ-conscious parents may think they’re raising healthy children when they may instead be raising vulnerable children.

I’m not a scientist, and I can’t tell parents whether they should wash off the pacifier when it falls to the ground. But I do think there’s a parallel lesson in the spiritual world.

As nervous Christian parents, we sometimes think our number one job is to make sure our kids are never exposed to any non-Christian thinking. We may be tempted to place them inside a sanitized theological bubble, safe from all forms of intellectual contamination. But, as for germ-conscious parents, this may not be accomplishing what we think.

Boost Their Immune Systems

This topic has been on my mind since the release of my book Surviving Religion 101: Letters to a Christian Student on Keeping the Faith in College. In all the podcasts I’ve been doing since the book’s release, one question keeps coming up again and again: What can parents (and churches) do to help better prepare their kids for the intellectual challenges of college?

What’s interesting is that my book wasn’t written to address that question. It isn’t a guide for parents or churches on how to develop the next generation. Instead, I wrote for students who are already in college (or on the verge of college), regardless of whether their preparation had been good or bad.

Even so, all these podcast hosts were still interested in the same question. What can we do to better prepare our children?

While there are many answers to that question, I think the lesson of Gilbert’s book can provide an important piece of wisdom. Perhaps Christian parents need to realize that some limited exposure to non-Christian thinking can serve to “boost” their children’s spiritual immune systems—which they’ll need when they’re older.

Some limited exposure to non-Christian thinking can serve to ‘boost’ children’s spiritual immune systems.

Put differently, parents and churches need to consider ways to introduce their children, at age-appropriate levels, to non-Christian philosophies, arguments, and criticisms, along with a proper Christian response.

That way, when these Christian students head off to college, they won’t hear these arguments and think, I’ve never heard that before; why didn’t my parents (or pastor) tell me that? Instead, they can say, Yes, I’ve heard this before, and there are answers to these questions.

Precautions and Complexities

Of course, this must be done with wisdom and care. No one is suggesting we dump a mountain of critical arguments onto a 12-year-old kid, thinking this will somehow help her. Likewise, Gilbert isn’t arguing that parents should take no precautions whatsoever about exposure to germs. Some pathogens are a real danger and must be avoided (a lesson we learned during COVID-19).

Moreover, every Christian parent faces a myriad of complex questions about his or her child’s exposure to a non-Christian world: Can my child watch that movie? Should I let him run in that crowd? Should I send her to that school? These are tough questions. And parents must be careful about the things to which their children are exposed.

But, at the same time, let’s not think we succeeded as parents if our child turns 18 and has never heard a single substantive argument against Christianity, nor even met a single non-Christian.

We may think we’ve “protected” him, when in fact we may have stunted his spiritual immune system, which he’ll desperately need in the years ahead.